GENE WRITES...
What I have to write may take some by surprise. But Hey! Gene has never been predictable.
I am going to go out of my way to help Detterling in his hour of need.
Okay we all know what he did. And I know why he did it. Despite all his bombast about keeping Gene's blog supressed Gene's blog returned and is flourishing. All his efforts have come to nothing. And as for God knows what sum he paid to a cowboy detective agency to obtain details on Gene - well, that's money well and truly down the drain.
Adding to Detterling's dismay was the information that Granny Barkes Fell in Woolworths would be published later this year.
In desperation Detters took the drastic John Stonehouse step of faking his own death. But the John Stonehouses of this world are always caught out. And Detterling was caught out.
He is now a broken man with no choice but to hide and never be seen or heard from again.
Ah! but he has a choice. I am prepared to throw Detterling a lifeline to tug him out of the Slough of Despond into which he has sunk.
I hereby offer him the chance to become an associate editor on Gene's blog. I also undertake to publish anything he writes - provided it is within the law.
Furthermore, I extend to him the opportunity to co-operate with me on a book entitled In The Footsteps of the Saints of the North East. Detterling can do the legwork and I will knock things into shape for publication.
Well Detters ... the ball is in your court.
GENE
Absolutely pitiful. Gene, I really think you should seek professional psychiatric help: you have more or less parted company completely from reality.
ReplyDelete"Gene's blog returned and is flourishing."
No: no-one reads it, much less responds to it.
"And as for God knows what sum he paid to a cowboy detective agency to obtain details on Gene..."
Ridiculous, self-important fantasy - it never happened.
"Adding to Detterling's dismay was the information that Granny Barkes Fell in Woolworths would be published later this year."
No it won't - give us the ISBN and publisher details - oops, sorry, I forgot, neither of them exist.
"In desperation Detters took the drastic John Stonehouse step of faking his own death".
Absolutely not - it was entirely your inept and lazy reading of some carefully worded hoax posts that led you to think that I had died. I am not to blame if you are a gullible mug.
"He is now a broken man with no choice but to hide and never be seen or heard from again."
Rubbish. I haven't stopped laughing at your desperation as you flail about trying to gloss over the fact that I have hoaxed you yet again. You believed the yarns I spun you so that your blog was down for 594 days, and you believed the latest hoax for two months. What kind of a mug are you? And you will hear a lot more from me fairly soon - probably via Tony Corish and the governors oo the Douay Martyrs - before you are done. And you will be done - up like a kipper, to a turn and for.
"I hereby offer him the chance to become an associate editor on Gene's blog."
I wouldn't associate myself with this pile of plagiarised ordure if you paid me. If you removed everything you stole from others there'd be nothing left.
"Furthermore, I extend to him the opportunity to co-operate with me on a book entitled In The Footsteps of the Saints of the North East. Detterling can do the legwork and I will knock things into shape for publication."
Preposterous. You couldn't write obscenities on a lavatory wall.
"Absolutely not - it was entirely your inept and lazy reading of some carefully worded hoax posts that led you to think that I had died."
ReplyDeleteYou gave details of the minister who conducted your funeral. And you hadn't died???
You faked your death Detters. You were caught out. Just as you were caught out when you faked your gay nephew's death. Don't try to wriggle out of it.
"No it won't - give us the ISBN and publisher details - oops, sorry, I forgot, neither of them exist."
All I am at liberty to say is that the publishers are located in San Diego, California. Patience please.
"You gave details of the minister who conducted your funeral."
ReplyDeleteSo tell us who that was. Oops, sorry, forgot - you can't because I didn't. Read what I wrote, mug.
"You faked your death Detters".
So find me the sentence where "Delia" said - "Detterling has died". Oops, sorry, forgot - you can't because she didn't. Read what I wrote, mug.
"Just as you were caught out when you faked your gay nephew's death".
So print the post where I said my gay nephew had died. Oops, sorry, forgot - you can't because I didn't. My other nephew did commit suicide, which is what I said and what is true.
"Don't try to wriggle out of of it". I don't need to, because there is nothing to wriggle out of. Read what I wrote, mug.
"All I am at liberty to say is that the publishers are located in San Diego, California."
Nonsense - all published books on both sodes of the Atlantic are assigned an ISBN when publication is agreed.
So publish the ISBN. Oops, sorry, forgot - you can't because there isn't one, because there is no book. Who in their right senses would publish that garbage?
ReplyDelete"So tell us who that was. Oops, sorry, forgot - you can't because I didn't. Read what I wrote, mug."
"Not long ago I emailed the whole “Gene Vincent” file to two of Detterling’s old students – one of them is a circuit judge and a criminal barrister, and the other a retired solicitor who is now an Anglican vicar [she felt blessed to be invited to officiate at Detterling’s funeral]."
GAME, SET AND MATCH TO GENE METHINKS!!!
My dear friend the Revd Judy [not her real name] did indeed feel blessed to be asked to conduct my funeral when I asked her some time ago, and she still does.
ReplyDeleteSaying that someone felt blessed to be asked to conduct a funeral is NOT saying that the funeral has taken place, you simpleton. You are so easy to fool it's a shame to take your money, which is why I take the piss instead. READ WHAT I WRITE, MUG.
And only the other day I read an article about bloggers in which the writer posed the question "Have you ever noticed that only wankers use the term 'methinks'?". Come to think of it, he's dead right.
And I still meed that ISBN for Aunty Marian Peed Herself in the British Home Stores or whatever it's called this week.
"Saying that someone felt blessed to be asked to conduct a funeral is NOT saying that the funeral has taken place, you simpleton."
ReplyDeleteI knew you would claim that. You are about as convincing as Andrew Neil's hairline. Absolutely pathetic.
PS
The Church of England is f**ked.
It's not a claim - it's a fact, simpletom
Delete"The Church of England is f**ked."
Thanks for this - an excellent headline for my letter to Tony Corish....
When are you going to give the ISBN number?
ReplyDelete"When are you going to give the ISBN number?"
When the book is published.
Ah, right. So never.
ReplyDeleteBooks in the UK and US are designated with an ISBN when publication is agreed.
As well as being gullible and incapable of reading intelligently, you are the most incompetent liar I have ever come across. You even fail at lying.
Seek psychiatric help, Bobby - if you agree to do that then I would consider delaying contacting Tony Corish and the Douay Martyrs. Otherwise you are for the high jump. I am on holiday from tomorrow, and will not return until late in the third week in August.
If your blog is still up then, I will telephone Douay Martyrs and advise Mr Corish to look at your blog without delay,giving a list of pertinent dates [I think I might give my name as Vincent Craddock] and also arrange to deliver an updated dossier to him.
Make no mistake, Bobby, you are for the high jump.