GRANNY BARKES FELL IN WOOLWORTHS

GRANNY BARKES FELL IN WOOLWORTHS
 

Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths ... she'll get a free ride in the  ambulance Ha! Ha! Ha!... The just man falls seven times...  Look! See the tracks of Santa's feet on the hearth... I'll break your ould desk... Say what may the tidings be, on this glorious Christmas morn?... He's lost his apple cake... Look! Look what Mairead has made!... That would bury Dick and Diamond... Indeed he went all the way to the whiney nough... I'm getting a wheelbarrow tomorrow: it's brand new ... I can't sleep with excitement... This is a day above all days... No, we are off to school, c'mon Eddie... I heard a roar between  two hills... L to the water Jimmy Harte... I wish that day would come back again... And flying my kite... What happened to your lorry Jim?... Lay on MacDuff... Edward's day out... He cut down a tree from the hedge of the car road with a hatchet - yes, but it's his birthday... I don't know ... maybe so. I think they did... Look at the size of the flakes! Look at the size of the flakes!... There's a stepmother's breath in the air... He stole matches... Oh! I love to play when the decorations are up... If I was you I'd build a wall... The Irvines of the wheel, the wild men from Borneo... Time waits for no man, not even John Roy... Jeremiah, blow the fire; puff, puff, puff... Blue ink, black ink, and good red ink... See that sycamore tree? By the end of November there won't be a single leaf left on it... Secundam scripturas... Has he no ears?... Hey! Don't touch that coal scuttle, that belongs to Stanton Bailey... That's the biggest laugh I've had since I put salt in the sugar bowl last week... I'll get ye Tony... James Hugh Monaghan from Dernee,  a warrior I do beliee... Hurling by bum, hurling by bum... You are very unsatisfactory... Which one's thaaat?... Man attacked and thoroughly beaten; attackers make off in a posh car... I was reading The Messenger...  Drinking buttermilk all the week, whiskey on a Sunday... Back to back, belly to belly, don't give a damn about Yarnarelli... Come day, go day, God send Sunday... The chocolate tree, the sweet tree... The waters wild went o'er his child and he was left lamenting... 'Ma mither is a queen', said he... This new wheel of fortune has just come from France... John Johnston's horses are in your corn. Night's for rest, night's for rest... There's a yellow rose in Texas... "Hot diggity, dog ziggity, boom, what you do to me, when you're holding me tight."...  A field in Larne... Would it be physical?... A stew boiled is a stew spoiled... The Minster-clock has just struck two, and yonder is the Moon... Boys obtuse... And the hunter home from the hills... Wait 'til I get another stone for you Cyril... McAree, McAra, McAvarn K-Kunny, put in your white foot 'til I see if you're my mummy... Bara lynsey, bara lynsey... Patch upon patch sown without stitches; come riddle me this and I'll give you my britches... "Hold on, my door was hit too."... Joe Worthington, Joe Worthington you'd sit till you'd rot... Come to the water fit a thank ye, fit a thank ye, fit a thank ye... I washed my hands in water; water never run, and I dried them in a towel that was neither wove nor spun... Here comes I Wee Devil Doubt, the pain within, the pain without... Peeping round the door in the khaki there to see the old pair once again... When I was a lad so was me Dad... Ta Ra Ra Bam, Ta Ra Ra Ching, Ta Ra Ra Bam, Ta Ra Ra... 'Twas on a Sunday evening that Barlow's it was robbed: Mrs Barlow went down to the room to get a treacle scone, but when she saw the moneybox, the money it was gone... Genitori, Genitoque Laus et jubilation...  He relies too much on his effing muscles... The Protestant boys are loyal and true: they are in me eye says Donal Abu...  What's the 'with thee' for? What's the 'with thee' for?...  On a brick-coloured ticket, that's brick Pat... All in!...  Water! Water!, er , Tea! Tea!, with two lumps of sugar and a spot of milk... I wonder, yes I wonder, will the angels way up yonder, will the angels play their harps for me?... Whistle and I will come to you me lad... Get that Teddy Boy haircut out of my sight!... The one with the black bucket is the best... Paw! Haw! Haw! John's just laughing at us... The shadow of the Valois is yawning at the Mass... Sandy Row on an Easter Monday, every day's like an Easter Sunday... Willie Ruckie... Milled today, fed tomorrow... It's long and it's narrow, it's not very wide, it wears a green selvage on every side... Tilly Versailles... Yes and truly you are best... No more tomorrows in your career... Dr Whitehead... Piss, Piss  Iceland dog!... Tickets are sixpence each and I hope you all win... Andera Keck K-Keck K-Keck K-Keck... We sell only the best E..E..English C..C..Coca Cola... Aye but, naw but, could you cut turf?... Hollyhocks! Hollyhocks! over Bobby Lyttle's garden wall...  "You took the coat hanger to it."... The seas obey, the fetters break and lifeless limbs thou dost restore... You could easily stand on Kelly's hills and count his skinny ribs... Barefooted thatcher, Pa Bunty... Have you got a wagon to put these wheels on?... Lauda Jerusalem Dominum,  Lauda Deum tuum Sion... Man attacked and thoroughly beaten, attackers make off in a posh car... Swiftly, silently and unseen... You see Missus D; there's the cow and there's the gate... C'mon... let's get home for the beef and spuds... Ecce Panis Angelorum… Can it be I can't see the curtain?... Dee daw Marjorie Raw... You're idle for stelk... Saucepan gossiper... Corduroy for every boy, cordurat for every cat... We're the boys that fears no noise, we are the bold Drumarda boys... On Saturday night we all got tight and Cassidy brought us over...  Silver Saturday, jink night... Listening to the footsteps of the boys from Tedd... Dick Nan's: just the spot for a picnic... Listen to me George: "Would you like white stones on your grave?"... The bespectacled roadman...  Chick a boom, chick a rack, ... chick a boom,  chick a rack, and the yellow skirt goes swinging...  Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years, Scrooge replied. He died seven years ago, this very night... Too strong Grandad, too strong... Go on Balfour!...  Santa Agatha, ora pro nobis... "Pope Pius XII died during the night."...  The Ypres Salient at Night... Histracy... Wherefore have you left your sheep on that stony mountain steep?... Hi for a toffer  and hi for it still; and hi for the wee lad lies over the hill... The river eddy  whirls... Beati Michaeli archangelo... Put a table in the hall and it will do fine... And he fully did... Jimmy Hicks is not in hell... Rushe came down last night... I know my nick name... Uncle Merry... For aye for guide: very good neighbours, but keep your back to us... Apostrophe at the Post  Office today... Let the reindeers go. Let them go!...  Good morrow Mick... No-one will  read your papers... Oh! Hugh is staunch...  Jack's in Diviney... Smithers... You're only making a faddle (fardel) of yourself... The image of a girl... Deeper than the wishing well... Ballina, Balnabroka, Anahinahola, don't show the white feather wherever you go... Carolina  moon... What a beautiful day! What must heaven be like?... Do you know our d'Brian?...  You're nice Miss Rice.... I see said the blind man... The fish in the pond are seeing  red as Bobby is fishing with Coates strong thread... And those who come from  distance far are always late for tea... Oh! to be in Doonaree... All day all night  Marianne; down by the seaside sifting sand... Look at the way he's twisting that  stick... He won't know himself in this lovely place... You've given me a taste of fame... There was a wild colonial boy  Jack Saltey was his name. Geoff Duke. Elenore Gee! I think you're swell... The people they call me Calypso Joe. Peas ... er, from our garden. Delish... Oh! my diploma... I win a pound... The ancient ring post snapped like a matchstick... I think, I think, that she's the mostest of the lot, and furthermore she is the only chick I got... Nicolette, I can pick 'em!... Raddle diddle da ha ha... A great time of day to be in such good humour... They all wore black coats and black top hats and they turned and went up to your room... Deep, deep river, away, away... Early morning light, Rat ta-tat ta-tat ta-tat. Rat ta-tat ta-tat ta-tat...

Why Europe’s Oldest Intact Book Was Found in a Saint’s Coffin

The St. Cuthbert Gospel is the earliest surviving intact European book. Some time around 698, it was slipped into the coffin of a saint.

The St. Cuthbert Gospel.

via British Library

 

Saint Cuthbert’s fame grew following his death in 687. The hermit monk’s body, so the story goes, was found to be incorrupt over a decade after his passing in Northumbria (today’s border between England and Scotland). The miracle led to a cult around his remains. Offerings were placed at his tomb. Some time around 698, a small red book was slipped into his coffin.

This manuscript — known as the St. Cuthbert Gospel, or Stonyhurst Gospel (for Stonyhurst College where it was once held) — is the earliest surviving intact European book. It was removed from Cuthbert’s coffin in 1104, during a transfer of the saint’s remains to a new shrine in Durham Cathedral. “In an eyewitness account of the events surrounding the ceremony of Translation, which took place on Monday, August 29, 1104, [an] anonymous writer describes an investigatory opening of the coffin on the night of Thursday, August 25,” writes historian Calvin B. Kendall in The Journal of English and Germanic Philology. “After examining Cuthbert’s body for evidence of incorruption, the monks reclothed it with costly garments and restored it to the coffin, and ‘As soon as the body of the blessed Father was shut up in the coffin, they covered the coffin itself with linen cloth of a coarse texture, dipped in wax.’”

The Gospel of John was sometimes employed as a protective talisman.

The book, however, was kept as a separate relic. Today the 1,300-year-old manuscript retains its original pages and binding. It was acquired by the British Library in 2012, and will be on view in the London institution’s Anglo-Saxon Kingdoms: Art, Word, War, opening October 19th.

An interior page from the St. Cuthbert Gospel (British Library)

“Its excellent state of preservation can be traced at the outset to the significance it held — a carefully prepared gospel text, which was transferred with the relics of St. Cuthbert to Durham in 1104,” writes scholar Robert D. Stevick in Artibus et Historiae. Because of this remarkable condition, it’s an important example of Insular art, which was created on the British Isles and Ireland between 600 and 900 CE. “There is interlace pattern in two panels on the front cover, step-pattern implying two crosses on the lower cover, a prominent double vine scroll at the center of the front cover—elements of this early art that have been well catalogued for their individual features as well as for their affinities to similar decorative elements in other artifacts,” notes Stevick.

Detterling let's hear you put forward a defence for this...

Detterling let's hear you put forward a defence for this...

Irish voters celebrate that now children can be put to death

Oops! Sorry I forgot. You can't can you? No defence is possible for such evil.

Copland School Six must pay back 'swindled' money to Brent Council

Copland School Six must pay back 'swindled' money to Brent Council

Good old Hank!

 

Hank Roberts, the union representative whose courageous whistle blowing eventually led to today's outcome

 A former head teacher, who arranged to pay himself a whopping £400,000 in one year, and former colleagues face paying back thousands of pounds they received unlawfully as part of a school bonuses scandal.

Alan Davies, the former Head teacher of Copland Community School in Wembley, alongside former Deputy Head, Dr Richard Evans, former HR Manager Michele McKenzie and former School Bursar Columbus Udokoro were found to have benefitted from the “vast sums” they received in illicit bonuses over several years before Mr Davies was suspended in May 2009.

Davies, who had previously been knighted for services to education, took home more than £400,000 in one year, three times the going rate for the job, and was convicted of false accounting in 2013. He was stripped of his knighthood in 2014 following his conviction. The High Court today (17 August) found that his justifications for the excessive payments were “patently untrue” and “false”.

The purported bonuses to Davies and the others were sanctioned by former Chair of Governors Dr Indravadan Patel and former Vice Chair of Governors, Martin Day, both of whom were criticised by the Judge for “dishonest breach of fiduciary duty”, “wholesale failures” and “reckless indifference”.

Mr Davies, Dr Patel and Mr Day were today found by the High Court to have breached their fiduciary duties to the Council, leading to losses of more than £1million. Dr Evans, Mr Udokoro and Ms McKenzie were found to have been in knowing receipt of payments arising from those breaches of duties. 

The exact sums that each of the six must now pay back will be decided at a further Court Hearing in October.

Cllr Margaret McLennan, Deputy Leader of Brent Council, said:

We are delighted with the verdict as it means the money, which had been swindled, will be returned and can now be used for the benefit of local people.

Davies and his chums were arrogantly paying themselves ridiculously high and unjustified bonuses, including Davies pocketing a whopping £400,000 in one year – which is around three times the going rate for the job.

It has taken years of stamina and determination to win this victory but justice has finally been done.

The verdict comes five years after a criminal conviction was secured against Mr Davies at Southwark Crown Court, who pleaded guilty to false accounting at the school. Copland Community School closed on 31 August 2014. A new school, the Ark Elvin Academy, opened on the same site on 1 September 2014.

Hank Roberts, the original whistle-blower on the case and a member of the National Education Union  Joint Executive Council said:

Brent Council was totally justified and I praise its commendable action in bringing a High Court case against Alan Davies et al. Davies had already been given a 12-month sentence, suspended for two years for pleading guilty to six charges of false accounting. He was subsequently stripped of his knighthood. However, none of the large sums misappropriated were ever paid back. Davies received over £400,000 in a single year alone.

Justice Zacaroli’s judgement found against a conspiracy charge; but found that all six defendants had received and or authorised receipt of large sums from the school funds that were totally unjustified. Those in receipt will now have to pay back their ill-gotten gains.

I, and the other school Reps, Shane Johnschwager, NASUWT and John Kubenk, NUT were suspended by Davies and faced dismissal charges after I blew the whistle. Later Davies was suspended and we were reinstated. I, the Unions and the Council have been totally vindicated.

It was tough at the time, but I would encourage all who discover anything similar to whistleblow.

This is occurring far too often especially in academies that have totally inadequate system of financial oversight and control.

To lessen this corruption, all academies should be brought back under local authority control.

Detters, herewith my response to your request for me to take down my blog...

Detters, herewith my response to your request for me to take down my blog...

I have considered everything carefully and I have reached a decision not to take down my blog. This blog is important to me and I know it is to many. Many TESSERS and former TESSERS, for example, are regular readers. Okay, what I posted last Friday was irresponsible. I acknowledge that - but the penalty of taking down my blog is a much too severe punishment.

And Detters, consider your own record of posting on your blog, on my blog and on the TES website. Hardly a blameless record you'll be the first to admit.

I first encountered you back in the spring of 2005. Under the username of Yarooleggoyoubeast I posted the following on the TES Opinion Forum:

'...and let's not forget 1984 and the miners' strike. That was when Thatcher's paramilitary thugs machine-gunned to death hundreds of miners down the pits and dragged thousands more miners and their families off to the concentration camps.'

You posted that you thought this terrific - absolutly wonderful!

I posted back that I had no time for such arse-licking sychophancy. Things went downhill between us from there. You showed you true colours: vengeful, self-righteous and vain.

Around this time you introduced on Opinion Forum the subject of your gay nephew. Your were bombastic, arrogant and pompous. The gist of your introduction of the topic of your gay nephew was as follows:

"Hey! you lot. My nephew's a homo. Challenge me about that if you dare."

And of course if anyone quite reasonably pointed out the dangers inherent in the gay lifestyle you pursued them with pure venom.

Things went from bad to worse and you ended up the most banned poster in the history of the TES website.  

And none of us of course forget your role as Obergruppenführer of the notorious Opinion Forum Clique. What a reign of terror that was! Many suffered greviously. A good account is given in Annie Baker's book, ORDEAL  The Tale of my Torment and  Suffering inflicted by the Clique.

 

You were aided and abetted by many of your fellow pinko liberal travellers with codenames such as Lilyofthefield, Inky, Jacob, Scintillant, Florian Gassmann et al.  But your principal allies in this disgraceful episode were that appalling woman from the Gorbals, Seren_dipity and that pathetic mummy's boy from Tower Hamlets, Bigkid.

You, Detterling, directed operations and the group communicated through landlines, faxes, mobile phones, telexes, texts and the personal messaging facility of the TES website. Anyone who looked as if they might be dissident to The Clique's agenda was targeted, harassed, bullied and hounded.

The final straw came when a gentleman fron West Sussex posted that his wife, an experienced teacher, had committed suicide after being bullied and harassed by the Clique for three months. At that point I took up the cudgels in earnest and routed the Clique. During this time I did warn you that your behaviour would result in you being banished to the Bottomless Pit when your days in this Vale of Tears were over.

Souls Falling into the Bottomless Pit

Now I am not claiming to be blameless myself. As you have seen there are times when I revel in schadenfreude. Remember me smirking at the Church of England busy-body and driving her to the point of hysterics on the occasion of the plan for women bishops being torpedoed ? And at times I am not at my ethical best when dealing with opponents. You will remember that about eighteen months ago a snake in the grass named Anon of Northwood came on the scene and threatened to dish the dirt on me. But I stopped him in his tracks. And How! Sandra (not her real name) in the Good Yarn was terrific! "I'm passing you over to Mr Craddock now." Priceless! But Detters I would never write anything about an opponent of the level of malice that you have demonstrated here:

'Gene Vincent has, during the twelve years of which I have been aware of him, become a toxic presence in my life.

He is, simply, a loathsome human being: pretentious, unscrupulous, malicious, insincere, smarmy, swollen-headed, narcissistic, solipsistic, vain, pietistic, dirty-minded, sexually impotent, an academic cheat who earned his degree by plagiarising the scholarship of others, and unremittingly nasty.

He is an incorrigible liar, a drunkard, a blackmailer, a hypocrite, a snivelling coward, a plagiarist, and a thief.'

This is really malicious stuff. And totally libellous - I never cheated in my degree. In fact I was complimented for my originality in the Philosophy component of my PPE. I drew attention to similarities in the thought of Teilhard de Chardin and the philosophy of Hegel.

And did I ask for your blog to be closed down or threaten you with exposure in the media? To threaten someone with ruination of his/her reputation by exposing their identity is beneath contempt.

Detters my blog will not be closing down.


GENE

Detters I owe you a big apology...

Detters I owe you a big apology. I should never have posted that nonsense last night from the Good Yarn. I am removing it forthwith. I hope Delia hasn't seen it.

That's the trouble when we get into high spirits. As the working class down here in this part of England's green and pleasant land put it: I was bang out of order.

I know I can't really blame Tuborg or Jameson's - but well you know. We all had a great time but I have paid the price with a hangover today.

GENE

Why is Detterling such an incorrigible liar?

Why is Detterling such an incorrigible liar?


Discerning readers will have noted that over the past few weeks everything I have posted about Detterling is true and just about everything he has posted about me is false.

Why does he do it? Why is Detterling such an incorrigible liar? I'm afraid it will have to remain one of life's unfathomable mysteries such as:

IS GAY BYRNE GAY?


HOW DOES MARK PHILLIPS JUSTIFY HIS EXISTENCE?


HOW ON EARTH DID 'SPIRIT IN THE SKY' BY NORMAN GREENBAUM BECOME A HIT RECORD?

MARK PHILLIPS

NORMAN GREENBAUM

GAY BYRNE

Hi Detters... greetings from the Good Yarn. We are all having a great laugh about you.

Hi Detters... greetings from the Good Yarn. We are all having a great laugh about you right now.


The memoirs are progressing well - six chapters written, sixteen more sketched; 39,000 words and counting. And a fairly reasonable internet publishing deal with the stipulation that it will have to be posthumous, given that a lot of it will be disobliging to people of various kinds, and that I wish to place myself and my family beyond the reach of the libel laws. Not that I plan to die any time soon, unless God has other ideas.

Ha! Ha! Ha! This has given me the biggest laugh I've had since I put salt in the Head's sugar bowl at the staff Christmas dinner in 1980!

What in God's name is an 'internet publishing deal'?

'… with the stipulation that it will have to be posthumous'

Yep, that sounds about right. Run for cover fat man. Once a bottlejob always a bottlejob.

All the lads here are splitting their sides laughing.

"Another Jameson's please barman."



GENE