On this fine autumn day as we feel the first full effects of this glorious season of mists and mellow fruitfulness which retired Tyneside supply teacher is sunk deep in a debilitating depression?
Step forward Canting Detterling, pompous windbag and aging malingerer. And what I hear you ask has sunk this Wincarnis-tippling pseud into such a Slough of Despond? I can reveal that he has had a crisis of conscience about a vile character assassination he posted on his blog about his erstwhile friend Gene Vincent. On 29th December 2017 he posted the following:
'Gene Vincent has, during the twelve years of which I have been aware of him, become a toxic presence in my life.
He is, simply, a loathsome human being: pretentious, unscrupulous, malicious, insincere, smarmy, swollen-headed, narcissistic, solipsistic, vain, pietistic, dirty-minded, sexually impotent, an academic cheat who earned his degree by plagiarising the scholarship of others, and unremittingly nasty.
He is an incorrigible liar, a drunkard, a blackmailer, a hypocrite, a snivelling coward, a plagiarist, and a thief.'
He is, simply, a loathsome human being: pretentious, unscrupulous, malicious, insincere, smarmy, swollen-headed, narcissistic, solipsistic, vain, pietistic, dirty-minded, sexually impotent, an academic cheat who earned his degree by plagiarising the scholarship of others, and unremittingly nasty.
He is an incorrigible liar, a drunkard, a blackmailer, a hypocrite, a snivelling coward, a plagiarist, and a thief.'
How can I put thing right he continually asks himself?
If only this were true. Of course Detterling has no such conscience. He does not have the character or graciousness to admit he has done something so outright malicious.
Detterling let me remind you of the evening of Friday 16th December 2016 and that never to be forgotten leaving do in the Good Yarn:
I come to the front doors and everything is in darkness except for the Christmas lights twinkling on the windowsills. I come through the doors. Suddenly all the lights go on and I am greeted by a huge cheer and a sea of smiling faces from the jam-packed pub. Thunderous applause follows. The love, respect and esteem in which I am held is palpable.
Does that sound at all like the man you describe above?
Bollocks, Gene. What a feeble response, all of the fifth hand, flabby and derivative.
ReplyDelete"Step forward Canting Detterling" - phrase "step forward" stolen from Private Eye.
"pompous windbag and aging malingerer" - childish insult and malicious lie.
"And what I hear you ask" - a shopworn phrase, the kind of cliché that really bad writers like Gene enhances the rhythm of dead prose. Besides, no-one is asking because no-one reads this crap.
"has sunk this Wincarnis-tippling pseud into such a Slough of Despond?" - again, all phraseology stolen from Private Eye.
And Gene, of course, has no arguments - just sentimental crap about his leaving do, attended by fewer than eighty of his sycophants, many of whom turned up mainly to make sure that they had finally got rid of this vicious little bastard.
'"Step forward Canting Detterling" - phrase "step forward" stolen from Private Eye.'
ReplyDeleteNo it's not. It's stolen from John Gordon who preceded John Junor on the Sunday Express. That's where Private Eye got it from.
"I come to the front doors and everything is in darkness except for the Christmas lights twinkling on the windowsills. I come through the doors. Suddenly all the lights go on and I am greeted by a huge cheer and a sea of smiling faces from the jam-packed pub. Thunderous applause follows. The love, respect and esteem in which I am held is palpable."
Wonderful! No one an take that moment away from me.
And Detterling whatever you write you know you can never take that marvellous moment away from me.
GENE