GENE'S CHILDREN'S BOOK. Well, what do you think so far?
The Magical Adventures of Sammy and the Enchanted Forest
Once upon a time, in a small village nestled at the edge of
a great forest, lived a curious and brave little boy named Sammy. Sammy had a
heart full of wonder and a mind eager for adventure. He loved exploring, and
his favorite place to visit was the Enchanted Forest.
One sunny morning, as Sammy set out on his daily adventure,
he noticed a sparkling path leading deep into the heart of the forest.
Curiosity sparked within him, and he followed the glistening trail, feeling the
magic in the air. Soon, he found himself standing in front of a grand, old oak
tree.
To his astonishment, the tree had a friendly face carved
into its trunk. "Hello, young adventurer!" boomed the tree, its voice
deep and wise. "I am Oakly, the Guardian of the Enchanted Forest. You have
been chosen to embark on a magical quest. Are you ready?"
Sammy's eyes widened with excitement as he nodded eagerly.
"Yes, Oakly! I'm ready for any adventure you have for me!"
Oakly smiled and pointed to a path that led even deeper into
the forest. "Your quest is to find the lost Rainbow Gem, the source of all
the forest's magic. It has been hidden away for many years. But with your
bravery and determination, I believe you can find it!"
With newfound determination, Sammy set off along the path.
He encountered friendly creatures along the way—a mischievous squirrel named
Nutkin, a wise old owl called Hoot, and a tiny but courageous ladybird named
Ruby. They became Sammy's loyal companions on his magical quest.
As they journeyed through the Enchanted Forest, they faced
various challenges. They had to solve riddles, cross treacherous bridges, and
outsmart tricky trolls. Sammy used his clever thinking and kind heart to
overcome each obstacle, with his friends by his side.
Finally, after much exploration and excitement, they reached
a hidden glen. In the center of the glen, surrounded by vibrant flowers, was a
sparkling rainbow waterfall. Above the waterfall, hanging in the air, was the
precious Rainbow Gem, shimmering with unimaginable beauty.
But the gem was protected by a mystical creature called
Aurora, the guardian of the rainbow. Aurora was a graceful unicorn with a
flowing mane of every color imaginable. She tested Sammy's courage and purity
of heart, making sure he was worthy of the gem.
Sammy approached Aurora humbly, his heart filled with
kindness and love for the Enchanted Forest. With gentle words, he expressed his
gratitude for all the magic and beauty that surrounded him. Touched by his sincerity,
Aurora nodded, allowing Sammy to gently pluck the Rainbow Gem from its ethereal
position.
As soon as Sammy held the gem in his hand, a burst of
radiant light filled the glen. The Enchanted Forest rejoiced, and its magic
soared higher than ever before. The trees whispered words of praise, the
flowers danced, and the animals chirped with joy.
Sammy knew it was time to bid farewell to his newfound
friends. With promises to return one day, he left the Enchanted Forest,
clutching the Rainbow Gem close to his heart.
Back in his village, Sammy shared the magic of the gem with
everyone. He helped make the village a happier and more colorful place. The
Rainbow Gem reminded the villagers of the importance of kindness, courage, and
the beauty of the natural world.
And so, the adventures of Sammy and the Enchanted Forest
became stories told for generations. The memory of Sammy's bravery and the
Rainbow Gem's magic lived on, inspiring children and adults alike to believe in
the extraordinary power of love, friendship, and imagination
For Christ’s sake, Gene, stop humiliating yourself like this. Only a writer as bad as you, a McGonagall of prose, would introduce three characters like the squirrel, the owl and the ladybird (NOT ladybug) AND THEN GIVE THEM NO FURTHER PART IN THE STORY. And with what does a face in the trunk of an oak tree point? For fuck’s sake, Gene, give it up. What next, I wonder? A police procedural starring Clint Tebbit, the detective constable with three testicles and a lollipop once licked by Kojak? Or perhaps a family saga, Upton Manor, hoping that Julian Fellowes won’t notice. Dear GOD.
ReplyDelete"would introduce three characters like the squirrel, the owl and the ladybird (NOT ladybug) AND THEN GIVE THEM NO FURTHER PART IN THE STORY."
ReplyDeleteWhy do you assume they have no further part in the story?
This story continues. The clue is in 'What do you think so far?
Sorry about ladybug. I have never claimed to be the world's best typist.
Gene
Because as it stands this is a closed narrative arc on the hackneyed quest plotline, with any conflict dismissed in an aside about solving riddles, crossing treacherous bridges, and outsmarting tricky trolls. You have resolved the plot in the opening chapter, because no matter how many analepses you now introduce to cobble in improbable sub-plots about riddles, bridges and trolls, you have already given away the ending. The whole point of a children's story is to introduce conflict early and maintain the jeopardy until it seems as if a resolution in favour of the protagonist is impossible and then resolve it with a feasible plot twist of some sort.
ReplyDeleteAnd since you possess no imagination, no skill in plotting or character development, and have the narrative and literary skills of a not very bright nine year old, you haven't a hope of writing a decent children's story that will see print. You are a bloody awful writer, as demonstrated by the fact that in SEVEN YEARS as a "full time professional writer" [sic], you have completed nothing and published fuck-all.
The result of this is the ludicrous Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths saga, your increasingly desperate attempts to account for its non-appearance, and now this pitiful attempt to divert attention from your imminent humiliation.
Give it up, Gene, and go back to your true literary avocation - writing boastful stories about the size of your prick on the walls of the Gents' bogs in Wetherspoons.
I hear what you say Detterling but my riposte to you is Ooh! Matron!
ReplyDeleteI shall tweak my Children's book a little and next week send it off to a literary agent.
GENE
And don't forget, Gene, to get Johnny Bluenote, the well known sock-puppet, to do the illustrations.
Delete