How Saints relaxed
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There’s a particular kind of tension many of us carry without even noticing. We try to get everything right, respond perfectly, stay on top of things, and somehow keep life running smoothly at all times.
And then something small goes wrong — a delayed train, a forgotten email, a burnt dinner — and it suddenly feels much bigger than it should.
The surprising thing is that many saints, far from being rigid or intense, had a wonderfully relaxed way of moving through life. Not because they didn’t care, but because they trusted deeply. They knew that not everything rested on their shoulders.
Here are five saints who remind us that sometimes, holiness can look a lot like letting go a little.
1St. Philip Neri — a lesson in not taking yourself too seriously
If there were ever a laid-back saint, it was Philip Neri. Known for his humor and lightness, he would deliberately make himself look ridiculous just to keep his pride in check. On one occasion, he walked through Rome with half his beard shaved off.
His secret was simple: joy disarms tension. He understood that faith wasn’t about constant seriousness, but about freedom — the kind that allows you to laugh, even at yourself.
2St. Thérèse of Lisieux — the little way of letting things go
St. Thérèse didn’t try to do everything perfectly. In fact, she leaned into small imperfections and offered them up with love. When someone annoyed her or things didn’t go her way, she practiced responding gently rather than reacting.
Her “Little Way” is, in many ways, deeply laid back. It’s about trusting that small acts, done with love, are enough — and that we don’t have to carry the weight of perfection.
3St. John XXIII — The pope who slept well at night
Pope John XXIII had a wonderfully simple approach to stress. At the end of a busy day leading the Church, he is said to have prayed: “It’s your Church, Lord. I’m going to bed.”
There is something beautifully relaxed in that attitude. He worked hard, of course, but he didn’t carry everything with him into the night. He knew where to leave his worries.
4St. Teresa of Ávila — practical, humorous, and wonderfully human
St. Teresa was deeply spiritual, but also refreshingly down-to-earth. She famously joked with God during difficult moments and once quipped, after falling into the mud: “If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few!”
She had a way of facing challenges without losing her sense of humor, reminding us that even in difficulty, it’s possible to keep a certain lightness of heart.
5St. Francis de Sales — The master of gentle patience
St. Francis de Sales is often associated with calmness for good reason. He believed that losing your temper or becoming agitated only made things harder. Instead, he encouraged gentleness, especially with oneself.
“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself,” he advised — words that feel like a direct antidote to modern-day stress.
What these saints share is not indifference, but trust. They cared deeply, but they didn’t cling tightly. They allowed space for humor, patience, and even imperfection. And perhaps that is the real lesson.
Not everything needs to be carried so heavily. Not every moment needs to be managed or mastered. Sometimes, the holiest thing we can do is take a breath, smile a little, and remember that we’re not in charge of everything.
And that, as these saints show us, can be a very good place to start.
And if you are wondering how to bring a little happiness to your couple, look at these wonderful suggestions in the slideshow below:
