Monday 31 December 2018

GENE'S NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS...

GENE'S NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS...

1   No more spirits. Only wine and beer from now on. It's going to be hard to say goodbye to Jamesons but it has got to be done. Recent events have left me in no doubt.


2   Go on a vegetarian diet. I have put on a few pounds recently and this diet will help me lose weight.


3   No dalliance, however mild, with any Onanistic fantasies.



4   No reliving my legend as a teacher.



5  Discipline myself to use the morning hours between 6.00am and 8.00am for my writing.

2 comments:

  1. "So farewell then Sister Wendy Beckett
    You were such a treasure packet
    Your eye for art was great indeed
    Maybe just as great as Gene's
    Or so it seems."

    No, Gene, don't bother to try writing if this illiterate, ham-handed doggerel is supposed to be verse. And a vegetarian diet will make your farts stink even worse - not the least reason why Marianne has banned you from the marital bed.

    Stick to things you can do and understand, Gene - wanking, drinking and being nasty.

    2019 is going to be a good year for something horrible to happen to you, Gene, courtesy of The Catholic Herald.

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  2. "Stick to things you can do and understand, Gene - wanking, drinking and being nasty".

    My apologies, Gene. I withdraw that advice. It was hasty and ill considered.

    I should have said:

    Stick to things you can do and understand, Gene - being nasty, drinking, hypocrisy, lying, nastiness, posturing, pretending to be a writer and wanking.

    All of which are the reasons why 2019 is going to be a good year for something horrible to happen to you.

    ReplyDelete