OVERHEARD IN HARRIS & HOOLE...

(An occasional feature)

20th June 2025

Absolutely beautiful morning in Uxbridge. Myself, Mary Winterbourne,  Sebastian D'Orsai and Tony of the Big Saloon got together this morning in Harris & Hoole. We were fortunate to be joined for the first time by two recently retired teachers from Uxbridge High School, Machinegun Kelly and Frances 'Fanny' Dango. The following conversation could be overheard:

Gene: Now folks I have got some news and I'm afraid it is not good. Dear old Detters appears to be on the way out. A number of former Tessers are regularly in contact with me (Inky, Wordsworth, Florian Gassmann, Scintillant, Jacob among them) and they all assert that the end appears nigh. Detterling faces the final curtain. It seems he will not live beyond this summer. How they know I do not know. 

Mary Winterbourne: Gene this is so sad. I did think that Detters was never the same since the publication of Granny Barkes Fell in Woolworth's.

Gene: Yes  Mary, Granny Barkes Fell in Woolworth's  being published knocked him for six - but there are other factors in his decline. Remember he is a very old man. Eighty-one by George! 

Tony of the Big Saloon: Detterling was also knocked for six with the revived outrage that the pinko-liberal Left had condoned the existence of the PIE back in the Seventies. And, by the way, did you know that both Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir wrote supporting paedophilia? The Left has a disgraceful history here.

Gene: I also feel that Swashbuckling Mulligan's devastating satire on Detterling's hypocrisy on LBGTQ+ issues had a most deleterious effect on the old boy.

Fanny Dango: My word! These chocolate eclairs are delicious!

Ducky Duckworth:  Detterling will be so missed at the Good Yarn Friday Night Club.

Sebastian D'Orsai: Undoubtedly!

Machinegun Kelly: We had so many great laughs about Detters at the Friday Night Club. Remember when he arranged to meet Gene at the Bloomsbury Crest Hotel and announced he would be wearing a blue denim jacket, lovat chinos and green woolen socks in open-toed sandals? How we laughed!

Tony of the Big Saloon: What about Detterling's memoirs? Any news of publication?

(Loud laughter from all)