Shall we have an encore of this heart-warming description of Christmas 2018 at Chez Detterling, Tyneside? Well, yes, I think we shall.
JUST LOVE THIS DEPICTION OF CHRISTMAS ON TYNESIDE
I posted this on the TES website prior to Christmas 2020. It was met with derision from many TESSERS. Nevertheless, I love this wholesome glimpse of Christmas at Chez Detters.
I RATE IT UP THERE WITH DESCRIPTIONS OF CHRISTMAS BY DICKENS, LAURIE LEE et al.
(It was sent to me by Detterling on Christmas Day 2018)
Detterling 25 December 2018 at 14:58
CHRISTMAS 2018
Saturday, a warm and hilarious family gathering with mother-in-law, brother-in-law and partner.
.....Sunday, daughters, husbands and grand-daughters convene at our house for a loud and happy afternoon culminating in acapella carol- singing round the piano which brought the neighbours round with requests for Silent Night and The Angel Gabriel, then all the family to Nine Lessons and Carols at our local church, where my son read a lesson with aplomb, understanding and relish.
.....yesterday, final preparations for the festival and in the evening, playing the organ at a carol service for an old friend whom I have known since she was six weeks old and who is now a vicar in the next parish but two.
.....and today, an early start with our son opening his presents, an afternoon with in-laws and nieces, and tonight Christmas dinner with the family, cooked by me and enjoyed by everyone.
Wishing a happy and holy Christmas to all my readers.
GENE
PART ONE:
ReplyDeleteOnce again Gene tries to suck up to Detterling, the man who, come Candlemas 2025 [as this is written only 38 days away] is going to drop him in the shit once and for all. He does this by posting for the ninth time a description of a Christmas in 2018 written by Detterling to highlight how terrible, by contrast was Gene's "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths", an extract from which Gene had just published on this midden of a blog. It was never posted on TES, nor did it attract derision - incomprehensible and meaningless lies told by Gene, probably out of force of habit.
The full extracts from December 2018 in "Gene, a voice in the wilderness", make this clear.
1 Detterling: 24 December 2018 at 04:48 [ responding to the terrible extract from Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths that Gene had published the previous day]:
"This is the eleventh version of this utter piffle to appear on this blog. On its first appearance, on March 3rd 2013, it was 247 words long; now, after nearly six years, it runs to 1465 words and still means the square root of bugger-all - pretentious, empty alphabet soup. Not only that, but at a work-rate of 250 words A YEAR, it seems that even writing as badly as this comes hard to Gene, straining his almost non-existent literary powers past their limit.
It must be terrible to be Gene at the moment; an illiterate drunkard whose wife has thrown him out of the marital bed in order to avoid his inept and foul-breathed groping, shunned by his daughters at Christmas, and now, because of his drunken, bigoted boorishness, rudeness, nastiness and violence, excluded from The Good Yarn Friday Night Arse-Kissing and Circle-Jerking Club. He is having a really bad time, a thought to warm the cockles of the heart this Christmas tide. There again, I cannot but echo the late Kingsley Amis who, when being told of an enemy who was having a bad time, used to bark "not bad ENOUGH!". It gives one the greatest possible pleasure to kick the ineffable Robert Willoughby Vincent when he is down. I look forward to hearing even worse news of him in the coming year."
together with the following afterthought:
3 Detterling: 24 December 2018 at 06:50 And I have just realised of whom it is that Gene's terrible writing reminds me: he is a 21st century William Topaz McGonagall.
4 Detterling: 24 December 2018 at 16:30 And he has just sent me this sickeningly hypocritical email: "To Detters, Delia and Sebastian WISHING YOU ALL A HAPPY AND HOLY CHRISTMAS from GENE."
This is the man who, not long ago, boasted of having shagged "Delia", invited his friends to congratulate him for having done so, and boasted of the tenth anniversary of an occasion when he claimed to have fathered my beloved son on her - a uniquely nasty piece of vainglory. He is filth, pure and simple; disgusting is too feeble an adjective for this repulsive little turd.
PART TWO:
Delete5 Detterling: 25 December 2018 at 14:58: Compare and contrast...
"Saturday, a warm and hilarious family gathering with mother in law, brother in law and partner.....Sunday, daughters, husbands and grand-daughters convene at our house for a loud and happy afternoon culminating in a capella carol singing round the piano which brought the neighbours round with requests for Silent Night and The Angel Gabriel, then all the family to Nine Lessons and Carols at our local church, where my son read a lesson with aplomb, understanding and relish.....yesterday, final preparations for the festival and in the evening, playing the organ at a carol service for an old friend whom I have known since she was six weeks old and who is now a vicar in the next parish but two.....and today, an early start with our son opening his presents, an afternoon with in laws and nieces, and tonight Christmas dinner with the family, cooked by me and enjoyed by everyone....."
And contrast? Gene, illiterate, rejected, banned from his favourite pub, shunned by his daughters, drunk every day by the late morning, and reduced to bolstering his self-esteem by recycling for the eleventh time a piece of writing which was dreadful five years ago, stank up the place then and stinks up it worse each time he recycles it...
FACT: Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths is currently listed in place number 3,385,662 in the Amazon Books Best Sellers list. This means that it has sold, at best, fewer than 100 copies in twelve months.
I wonder what Gene did with the remaining 19, 900 copies from the 20,000 he claimed had been printed by the non-existent Rattlesnake Press?
Face it, Gene: even judged as rubbish you are rubbish. It will be a positive pleasure finally to flush you round the U-bend on February 2nd next.
Ooh! Matron!
ReplyDelete"It was never posted on TES, nor did it attract derision -"
ReplyDeleteOh! yes it was and Oh! yes it did.
It was posted by me just weeks before TES Personal Forum closed.
You should remember that Detterling since you attacked me on the TES over posting it.
GENE
So what?
ReplyDelete