LOOKING INTO MY CRYSTAL BALL..
And what do I see? I see future reviews of Journeyman by Detterling.
Reviews of Journeyman
I received Detterling's memoir in the post this morning. I will waste no time in reading it.
Gene Vincent
Once I put it down I couldn't pick it up again.
Gary Glitter
Absolute bollocks! Detterling couldn't write home for money.
A.N. Wilson
I detect stylistic parallels with my own writing.
Jeffrey Archer
Detterling should have permanent residency on Pseud's Corner.
Ian Hislop
Gene Vincent has never published anything commercially, The only book of his which has seen print is "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths", a vanity publication for he which Gene paid to see publication.
ReplyDeleteCurrently, "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is ranked at number
three million, three hundred and seventy-five thousand and six in the Amazon best seller chart.
This means that, since it was published on December 20th 2023, it has sold TWELVE copies.
No-one who writes a book that bad can be taken seriously as a literary critic, especially on a book that has not yet been published.
You are flailing desperately Gene - give it up: whatever you do now you are for the high jump on Sunday February 2nd next.
"I received Detterling's memoir in the post this morning. I will waste no time in reading it."
ReplyDeleteHa! Ha! Ha! Oh! Gene you are a one.
Mary Winterbourne
Gene Vincent
Whenever you see a phrase in Gene's writing that shows even a trace of wit or style, you know that it is time to Google it to find out from whom he has stolen it. Googling "I will waste no time in reading it" leads us to the truth - Gene has stolen it from several professional authors, including Benjamin Disraeli, William Gladstone, William Makepeace Thackeray, Moses Hadas, Thomas Bailey Aldrich, Oliver Wendell Holmes and Samuel Wilberforce.
ReplyDeleteBut Gene not only steals others men's work, he gets it wrong. "I will waste no time in reading it" means that time spent reading it would be wasted. The original "I shall lose no time in reading" is a classic equivoque, but that is too subtle for Gene.
So in one simple act of professional theft, we see Gene exposed as an incompetent and dimwitted plagiarist.
At least he gets his theft from Groucho Marx - "once I put it down I couldn't pick it up again" - nearly right.
The other three lies are Gene originals, because they show Gene's infallibly laboured attempts at wit misfiring completely.
It must be dreadful to be you, Gene, a tangled mess of incompetence,
self-importance, delusion, bigotry, dirty-mindedness and deceit with, all the while, a worm of self-doubt inside you that keeps on reminding you of what an arsehole you really are.
I have been contacted by the lads in the Friday Night Club. They have had such a laugh at those reviews.
ReplyDeleteI have made a laughing stock out of you Detterling.
GENE
No, you haven't; no, they didn't: no, you haven't.
DeleteA laughing stock is someone who pays to have a terrible book published which, almost exactly a year after publication, is listed as occupying the number 3, 379, 402 slot in the Amazon Bestselling Books list. This means that it has probably sold at the rate of one copy per week - a total of 52 copies in a year. This for a book that Gene claimed had been produced in a printing of 20,000 by the non-existent Californian publishing house Rattlesnake Press.
A laughing stock is a book that, only 36 hours ago, was listed as occupying the number 3, 375, 006 slot in the Amazon Bestselling Books list. This means that it has plummeted by 4, 396 places in a day and a half - a descent at the rate of 122 places PER HOUR!
A laughing stock is an author [sic] who has never published a professionally paid word in eight years as a full-time professional writer [sic].
A laughing stock is an author whose only published work - a vanity publication so terrible that even at £5 a hit it has sold at the rate of one copy a week - is in line for the least coveted award of the Publishers' Guild - The Whale-Shit Book of the Year - whale shit being, as everyone knows, not only lost in the depths of the ocean, but also incapable of falling any further.
A laughing stock is a failed writer whose blog is entirely plagiarised, and read by so few people that he has to invent correspondents to it to make it look as though it has some value.
A laughing stock is someone whose lack of self-awareness borders on the pathological.
Never mind all this, anyway.
Come Candlemas 2025, you will be neck deep in the shit.
Enjoy Christmas, Gene, for the New Year is going to be terrible for you.