MISSION STATEMENT ... To celebrate where it's deserved! ... To take the Michael out of institutions and individuals where it's deserved! ...
Recently I had occasion to prepare my gravestone epitaph:
GENE...
Educator, Novelist,
Humanitarian and Humorist
- TO KNOW HIM WAS TO LOVE HIM -
Rest in Peace
....... But while I am still walking the earth do not hesitate to contact me at:
bobbyslingshot8@gmail.com
I was just thinking this morning that it's a shame that the TES Opinion Forum isn't around to see the publications of 'Granny Barkes Fell in Woolworth's'. What a debacle there would have been. Tessers such as Detterling, Florian Gassmann, Wordsworth, Inky, Coffeekid, Scintillant, Harsh but Fair, Jacob, Nutella, Middlemarch, Rob Steadman, Bigkid, et al consumed with jealousy and hatred and grinding their teeth in fury at Gene's success.
A bit of me can find the semblance of admiration for your relentlessly purblind courage in maintaining that Granny Barkes is a success, even though it is still ranking at
number 640,281
in Amazon Best Sellers List - in other words, published only a month ago, it has sunk without trace. It takes guts of a kind to deny the reality of facts so relentlessly facing you, and to maintain your literary self-belief with no shred of evidence to support it.
On the other hand, the ironclad completeness of your narcissism becomes a psychosis more and more florid, to the point where a complete breakdown seems more and more likely.
Face it, Gene: you can't write, and Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths is pretentious, incoherent and meaningless crap, which would never have seen print except through KPD/Amazon self-publication, and it has BOMBED completely.
How many copies has "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" actually sold?
And when are the reviews in The Huffington Post, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Washington Post and Rolling Stone coming out?
A word of warning here, Gene: do NOT forge reviews and attribute them to any of the above publications.
Any reviews printed on this blog and purporting to quote from any of those publications will be referred immediately to Danielle Belton [Editor in chief, Huffington Post], Jason Stager [Books Editor, Sydney Morning Herald], John Williams [Books Editor, The Washington Post] and Jon Dolan [Reviews Editor, The Rolling Stone].
Granny Barkes's vertiginous fall in Woolworths continues, to an extent and with a speed which will soon see it emerge in the basement branch of F W Woolworth and Co at 29 President Avenue, Kogarah, New South Wales.
Since 0915 this morning, when "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" was ranking at 640,281st place in the Amazon Best Sellers List, it has fallen a further 8, 405 places to number 648,686 at a rate of descent of 1, 681 places per hour.
At this rate it will take 209 hours for Granny Barkes's placement in the Amazon Best Sellers list to reach 1,000,000.
I forecast therefore, at around 0700 GMT on Saturday January 27th, "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" will achieve a record-breaking descent of THREE QUARTERS OF A MILLION PLACES in the Amazon Best Sellers List to bottom out at number 1,000, 000.
I wonder how well Gene's bravado about his booklet's "great success and huge acclaim" will stand up to that humiliation.
I am delighting in every second of Gene's humiliation - condign pay-back for fifteen years of nastiness, filth, bigotry and pretentious narcissism.
And all this is before I have published a single word of my Amazon review, which will not only bury "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" but also nail down the coffin on Gene Vincent's on-line reputation. It will not survive the publication of all the material I have amassed about him over the years, nor the republication of the ridiculous "Gene Vincent - close up on a phenomenon", not to mention his shabby pornography about buggering my wife, fathering the beautiful gift from God that is my son.
If Gene were capable of feeling shame, he would at that point die of it.
Anyway, knocking off now until Saturday 27th, when my review will be published on Amazon. A lot to do and no more time for the moment to waste on a man on whom I wouldn't piss if he were on fire.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete640, 281.
ReplyDeleteAnd now, just under 11 hours later, Granny Barkes’s fall into well-deserved oblivion continues at vertiginous speed.
It has plummeted at the rate of 3000 places PER HOUR to its current position at
Number 640, 281 in the Amazon Best Sellers list.
How many copies has this gallimaufry of literary ordure actually sold?
I think we should be told.
I was just thinking this morning that it's a shame that the TES Opinion Forum isn't around to see the publications of 'Granny Barkes Fell in Woolworth's'. What a debacle there would have been. Tessers such as Detterling, Florian Gassmann, Wordsworth, Inky, Coffeekid, Scintillant, Harsh but Fair, Jacob, Nutella, Middlemarch, Rob Steadman, Bigkid, et al consumed with jealousy and hatred and grinding their teeth in fury at Gene's success.
ReplyDeleteTony of the Big Saloon.
A bit of me can find the semblance of admiration for your relentlessly purblind courage in maintaining that Granny Barkes is a success, even though it is still ranking at
ReplyDeletenumber 640,281
in Amazon Best Sellers List - in other words, published only a month ago, it has sunk without trace. It takes guts of a kind to deny the reality of facts so relentlessly facing you, and to maintain your literary self-belief with no shred of evidence to support it.
On the other hand, the ironclad completeness of your narcissism becomes a psychosis more and more florid, to the point where a complete breakdown seems more and more likely.
Face it, Gene: you can't write, and Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths is pretentious, incoherent and meaningless crap, which would never have seen print except through KPD/Amazon self-publication, and it has BOMBED completely.
How many copies has "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" actually sold?
And when are the reviews in The Huffington Post, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Washington Post and Rolling Stone coming out?
ReplyDeleteA word of warning here, Gene: do NOT forge reviews and attribute them to any of the above publications.
Any reviews printed on this blog and purporting to quote from any of those publications will be referred immediately to Danielle Belton [Editor in chief, Huffington Post], Jason Stager [Books Editor, Sydney Morning Herald], John Williams [Books Editor, The Washington Post] and Jon Dolan [Reviews Editor, The Rolling Stone].
You have been warned.
Granny Barkes's vertiginous fall in Woolworths continues, to an extent and with a speed which will soon see it emerge in the basement branch of F W Woolworth and Co at 29 President Avenue, Kogarah, New South Wales.
ReplyDeleteSince 0915 this morning, when "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" was ranking at 640,281st place in the Amazon Best Sellers List, it has fallen a further 8, 405 places to number 648,686 at a rate of descent of 1, 681 places per hour.
At this rate it will take 209 hours for Granny Barkes's placement in the Amazon Best Sellers list to reach 1,000,000.
I forecast therefore, at around 0700 GMT on Saturday January 27th, "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" will achieve a record-breaking descent of THREE QUARTERS OF A MILLION PLACES in the Amazon Best Sellers List to bottom out at number 1,000, 000.
I wonder how well Gene's bravado about his booklet's "great success and huge acclaim" will stand up to that humiliation.
I am delighting in every second of Gene's humiliation - condign pay-back for fifteen years of nastiness, filth, bigotry and pretentious narcissism.
And all this is before I have published a single word of my Amazon review, which will not only bury "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths"
but also nail down the coffin on Gene Vincent's on-line reputation. It will not survive the publication of all the material I have amassed about him over the years, nor the republication of the ridiculous "Gene Vincent - close up on a phenomenon", not to mention his shabby pornography about buggering my wife, fathering the beautiful gift from God that is my son.
If Gene were capable of feeling shame, he would at that point die of it.
Anyway, knocking off now until Saturday 27th, when my review will be published on Amazon. A lot to do and no more time for the moment to waste on a man on whom I wouldn't piss if he were on fire.
Up yours, Gene.
O830 Friday January 19th:
ReplyDeleteAmazon Best Sellers List rating for
“Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” - 691,957.