MISSION STATEMENT ... To celebrate where it's deserved! ... To take the Michael out of institutions and individuals where it's deserved! ...
Recently I had occasion to prepare my gravestone epitaph:
GENE...
Educator, Novelist,
Humanitarian and Humorist
- TO KNOW HIM WAS TO LOVE HIM -
Rest in Peace
....... But while I am still walking the earth do not hesitate to contact me at:
bobbyslingshot8@gmail.com
continues to bomb in the Amazon Best Seller lists. From 443,099th position twenty four hours ago, it has now plummeted to 472,144th, a fall of nearly 30,000 places. How much further can this booklet - incoherent, pretentious and meaningless crap, seventy plus pages of pointless photographs and six thousand words of verbal diarrhoea, the literary equivalent of a mixture of nose-pickings, smegma, dandruff and dangleberries.
Would that be that it is now at number 508, 955 in the Amazon Best Seller list, thus setting a record for the biggest fall in position - over 300,000 places - in less than a week?
How much lower can this literary lead balloon sink? It now stands at number 532, 929, 27,000 places down from this morning’s placement. Gene said that “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” would make history. And this it seems likely to do, breaking all records for disastrous sales performances. It’s the humiliation that Gene Vincent, author of this literary cesspit, thoroughly deserves. Absolutely splendid news.
Detterling you are betraying your jealousy all the time.
Gene's book is destined to be a great success. Gene had the cojones to put out this radical and original work. The cobwebs hanging over the literary world are being blown away.
When are we going to see your memoirs? Oops! Sorry I forgot. It won't happen as you are a bottlejob.
You could not possibly have had this pile of horse-turds commercially published - notwithstanding that you invented a completely fictitious imprint - Rattlesnake Press - which you claim took the work on. Had that been the case, you could not possibly have altered the front cover of Granny Barkes within 24 hours of my pointing out that you had - or rather your sock puppet Johnny Bluenote - carelessly used the photograph of a genuine person as your front cover. It follows therefore that Granny Barkes is a KPD publication via Amazon - vanity publishing without a price tag except for the purchase of an ISBN number - which, given that you claimed American publication knowing that Amazon never check, you were able to buy for $18.
"Gene's book is destined to be a great success. Gene had the cojones to put out this radical and original work. The cobwebs hanging over the literary world are being blown away."
Oh, Gene, do stop talking bollocks. "Granny Barkes" currently occupies position number 547,528 in the Amazon Best Sellers list - meaning that it has plummeted 39,000 places in the list since this morning.
If that is great success then for Christ's sake what will failure look like? "Granny Barkes" is neither radical nor original - it is incoherent, pretentious, meaningless crap, the feeblest possible short-winded imitation of Finnegans Wake, eked out to booklet length from 6,000 words with eighty pages of irrelevant photographs.
"The cobwebs hanging over the literary world are being blown away."
Christ, Gene, you are demented.
"When are we going to see your memoirs?"
I have explained a dozen times already that publication of these will happen after my death, whenever that is.
"Oops! Sorry I forgot. It won't happen as you are a bottle-job."
Look, Gene, I know you can't write for toffee, but do you think you might be able to invent an original insult? Come to think of it, you almost certainly can't if the scissors-and-paste prose of "Granny Barkes" is anything to go by.
And the delayed publication of my memoirs has been arranged because, unlike Gene, I care about hurting other people's feelings as well as possible libel actions, and significant portions of "Memoirs of a Journeyman" will come close to doing the first and, if a delay is not imposed, might also risk the second.
With the latter this is in connection with the pivotal role played by freemasonry in local education authorities with which I was associated during my career as a teacher. I have named names, dates, circumstances and consequences, as well as describing the results - in one case an LEA Advisers Office and Peripatetic Music teaching service almost entirely staffed by freemasons, irrespective of professional ability - both unmistakeably, and with documentary proof.
My wife knows that for this reason she needs to hold back publication until the five people named are dead - so far three of them are - for the simple reason that you cannot libel the dead. I have no wish to expose my - by then - widow or my fatherless children to legal action and possibly financial consequences. On the other hand, the truths I tell need to be exposed to the world to prevent their happening again.
As for jealousy, forget it. My three published books and my syndicated Westminster Press newspaper columns earned me either side of £11, 000 in fifteen years - a modest but useful sum paid to me by commercial publishers who commissioned me, liked what I wrote and rewarded me. I make no claim to literary merit, radical originality or great success - but being paid to write meant that I was a professional writer.
You have never been paid to write, and you never will; and "Granny Barkes" will not even make peanuts, or the shells of those peanuts ground into a bookshop floor, for the simple reason that is unsaleable, pretentious and incoherent shit.
And this morning’s news of Granny Barkes is that her fall in Woolworths has now taken her to number 581,112 in the Amazon Best Sellers list, a catastrophic overnight plummeting of 35,000 places. Wonderful news that Amazon readers retain a sure instinct for the bogus, the incoherent and the pretentious.
How much longer can Gene Vincent go on claiming that his booklet is a success enjoying great acclaim? How many copies has he actually sold? I bought one which I intend to return next week. But I wonder who else did?
"With the latter this is in connection with the pivotal role played by freemasonry in local education authorities with which I was associated during my career as a teacher."
BOLLOCKS! Freemasonry has never been a problem in LEAs.
"BOLLOCKS! Freemasonry has never been a problem in LEAs."
Stop laying down the law about things you know fuck all about, Gene: you simply embarrass yourself further.
Why not try explaining to us how your grounbreaking, trail-blazing, radical, original work of art Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths is now at number 591, 094th place in the Amazon Best-Seller list, a collapse in 5 hours and forty five minutes of 9, 943 places.
With 591, 093 other books outselling your tragic effort, is it not time to come clean and admit that Granny Barkes has completely bombed, failed, crashed and burned? And why shouldn't it - it is incoherent, pretentious and meaningless crap, written by a man with about as much talent for writing as a toilet seat.
STOP PRESS:
ReplyDelete"GRANNY BARKES FELL IN WOOLWORTHS"
continues to bomb in the Amazon Best Seller lists. From 443,099th position twenty four hours ago, it has now plummeted to 472,144th, a fall of nearly 30,000 places. How much further can this booklet - incoherent, pretentious and meaningless crap, seventy plus pages of pointless photographs and six thousand words of verbal diarrhoea, the literary equivalent of a mixture of nose-pickings, smegma, dandruff and dangleberries.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Detterling you are full of jealousy and hatred.
DeleteI feel in a great mood this morning. I have had some very good news about 'Granny Barkes Fell in Woolworth's'
GENE
Would that be that it is now at number 508, 955 in the Amazon Best Seller list, thus setting a record for the biggest fall in position - over 300,000 places - in less than a week?
ReplyDeleteJealous of a lead balloon? I don’t think so.
How much lower can this literary lead balloon sink? It now stands at number 532, 929, 27,000 places down from this morning’s placement. Gene said that “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” would make history. And this it seems likely to do, breaking all records for disastrous sales performances. It’s the humiliation that Gene Vincent, author of this literary cesspit, thoroughly deserves. Absolutely splendid news.
DeleteDetterling you are betraying your jealousy all the time.
ReplyDeleteGene's book is destined to be a great success. Gene had the cojones to put out this radical and original work. The cobwebs hanging over the literary world are being blown away.
When are we going to see your memoirs? Oops! Sorry I forgot. It won't happen as you are a bottlejob.
Ducky Duckworth
Gene, do stop it, there's a good lad.
DeleteYou could not possibly have had this pile of horse-turds commercially published - notwithstanding that you invented a completely fictitious imprint - Rattlesnake Press - which you claim took the work on. Had that been the case, you could not possibly have altered the front cover of Granny Barkes within 24 hours of my pointing out that you had - or rather your sock puppet Johnny Bluenote - carelessly used the photograph of a genuine person as your front cover. It follows therefore that Granny Barkes is a KPD publication via Amazon - vanity publishing without a price tag except for the purchase of an ISBN number - which, given that you claimed American publication knowing that Amazon never check, you were able to buy for $18.
"Gene's book is destined to be a great success. Gene had the cojones to put out this radical and original work. The cobwebs hanging over the literary world are being blown away."
Oh, Gene, do stop talking bollocks. "Granny Barkes" currently occupies position number 547,528 in the Amazon Best Sellers list - meaning that it has plummeted 39,000 places in the list since this morning.
If that is great success then for Christ's sake what will failure look like? "Granny Barkes" is neither radical nor original - it is incoherent, pretentious, meaningless crap, the feeblest possible short-winded imitation of Finnegans Wake, eked out to booklet length from 6,000 words with eighty pages of irrelevant photographs.
"The cobwebs hanging over the literary world are being blown away."
Christ, Gene, you are demented.
"When are we going to see your memoirs?"
I have explained a dozen times already that publication of these will happen after my death, whenever that is.
"Oops! Sorry I forgot. It won't happen as you are a bottle-job."
Look, Gene, I know you can't write for toffee, but do you think you might be able to invent an original insult? Come to think of it, you almost certainly can't if the scissors-and-paste prose of "Granny Barkes" is anything to go by.
And the delayed publication of my memoirs has been arranged because, unlike Gene, I care about hurting other people's feelings as well as possible libel actions, and significant portions of "Memoirs of a Journeyman" will come close to doing the first and, if a delay is not imposed, might also risk the second.
With the latter this is in connection with the pivotal role played by freemasonry in local education authorities with which I was associated during my career as a teacher. I have named names, dates, circumstances and consequences, as well as describing the results - in one case an LEA Advisers Office and Peripatetic Music teaching service almost entirely staffed by freemasons, irrespective of professional ability - both unmistakeably, and with documentary proof.
My wife knows that for this reason she needs to hold back publication until the five people named are dead - so far three of them are - for the simple reason that you cannot libel the dead. I have no wish to expose my - by then - widow or my fatherless children to legal action and possibly financial consequences. On the other hand, the truths I tell need to be exposed to the world to prevent their happening again.
As for jealousy, forget it. My three published books and my syndicated Westminster Press newspaper columns earned me either side of £11, 000 in fifteen years - a modest but useful sum paid to me by commercial publishers who commissioned me, liked what I wrote and rewarded me. I make no claim to literary merit, radical originality or great success - but being paid to write meant that I was a professional writer.
You have never been paid to write, and you never will; and "Granny Barkes" will not even make peanuts, or the shells of those peanuts ground into a bookshop floor, for the simple reason that is unsaleable, pretentious and incoherent shit.
Go on, prove me wrong.
And this morning’s news of Granny Barkes is that her fall in Woolworths has now taken her to number 581,112 in the Amazon Best Sellers list, a catastrophic overnight plummeting of 35,000 places. Wonderful news that Amazon readers retain a sure instinct for the bogus, the incoherent and the pretentious.
ReplyDeleteHow much longer can Gene Vincent go on claiming that his booklet is a success enjoying great acclaim? How many copies has he actually sold? I bought one which I intend to return next week. But I wonder who else did?
"With the latter this is in connection with the pivotal role played by freemasonry in local education authorities with which I was associated during my career as a teacher."
ReplyDeleteBOLLOCKS! Freemasonry has never been a problem in LEAs.
ReplyDelete"BOLLOCKS! Freemasonry has never been a problem in LEAs."
Stop laying down the law about things you know fuck all about, Gene: you simply embarrass yourself further.
Why not try explaining to us how your grounbreaking, trail-blazing, radical, original work of art Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths is now at number 591, 094th place in the Amazon Best-Seller list, a collapse in 5 hours and forty five minutes of 9, 943 places.
With 591, 093 other books outselling your tragic effort, is it not time to come clean and admit that Granny Barkes has completely bombed, failed, crashed and burned? And why shouldn't it - it is incoherent, pretentious and meaningless crap, written by a man with about as much talent for writing as a toilet seat.