MISSION STATEMENT ... To celebrate where it's deserved! ... To take the Michael out of institutions and individuals where it's deserved! ...
Recently I had occasion to prepare my gravestone epitaph:
GENE...
Educator, Novelist,
Humanitarian and Humorist
- TO KNOW HIM WAS TO LOVE HIM -
Rest in Peace
....... But while I am still walking the earth do not hesitate to contact me at:
bobbyslingshot8@gmail.com
Which is many places higher than your memoirs Detterling!!!
"Granny Barkes fell in Woolworth's" is actually selling like hot cakes here in Uxbridge - and I suspect in many other places. Amazon figures mean nothing here.
"Which is many places higher than your memoirs Detterling.
My memoirs have not been published, Gene, as you well know. That you keep whanging on about them proves that you have nothing else to say to defend your total and utter failure as a writer.
' "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworth's" is actually selling like hot cakes here in Uxbridge'
Post a photograph of the shop window or in-shop display of "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths". in Uxbridge.
No, thought not.
Post a list of bookshops that are selling it "elsewhere".
No, thought not.
I presume that all these shops are stocking the second impression of the book - you know, the one with the revised cover photograph which miraculously replaced the original within twenty four hours of its being pointed out that "Johnny Bluenote" [ie you] had carelessly used a photograph of a real person with living relatives.
BALLS, Gene: "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is a KPD on-line print to order publication available only on Amazon.
And there it is selling like ice cream cornets filled with cold sick.
At 1400 today, it was standing at number
745,866
in the Amazon Books Best Sellers list - 4, 000 places lower than five hours ago.
"Amazon figures mean nothing here."
Bollocks.
They mean that "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is a complete and abject abortion, bomb, botch, bungle, bust, fiasco. flop, lemon, loser, mess, miscarriage, rout, turkey, washout and wreck.
Four weeks in print and not a single review.
How many have you sold altogether, Gene? I think we should be told.
"Amazon figures mean nothing here."
Bollocks. Yes, they do.
They mean that since January 10th, when sales figures were first posted on Amazon, "Granny Barkes " has plummeted by 509,178 places - well over HALF A MILLION - which is an umistakeable sign that it has bombed completely.
"Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is fucked - a great deal more thoroughly than she ever was in real life, I daresay.
' "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworth's" is actually selling like hot cakes here in Uxbridge'
In which case why is there no mention of its publication and runaway success in The Hillingdon and Uxbridge Times?
You'd think a local author publishing a ground-breaking, trail blazing novel selling like hot cakes would be headline news, but no. When I searched their website for "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworth's" the top reference was a story that the Uxbridge Woolworth's was due to shut in December 2008.
Face it, Gene, you can't bullshit your way out of this,
At 0830 on Sunday January 21st, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” is continuing its precipitous descent into the literary oblivion where it belongs. It now stands at number
783368
in the Amazon Best Sellers List.
Gene Vincent and his sock puppet/co-author claimed yesterday that Amazon sales figures are “meaningless” and that the booklet is “selling like hot cakes in Uxbridge and elsewhere”.
However, Syd “Bad Breath” Dangleberry, the Hillingdon turf accountant who also acts as literary agent for the Vincent-Bluenote partnership, said last night in an interview in The Good Yarn, Uxbridge,
“Hot cakes you say? I’ll be buggered if I know where he’s got that from.You can only buy it on Amazon anyway, and I’m having trouble giving it away to reviewers there. I’d do better selling pork pies at a synagogue.”
At 0825 GMT today, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” occupied position number
824,241
In the Amazon Best Selling Books List.
And Gene Vincent has yet to provide any evidence - a photograph of a bookshop display, coverage in the Uxbridge and Hillingdon Times, a list of bookshops stocking his booklet - that his groundbreaking, trailblazing novel is, as he claimed “selling like hot cakes” in Uxbridge.
In fact it is selling like gift wrapped dog turds, which, given the fact that. even judged as shit it is shit, seems very appropriate.
I have posted my review on Amazon Returns, as follows.
I asked to return the book and in response to the reason ticked the "Item unsatisfactory" option. Invited to expand on this I wrote the simplest review I possibly could:
"It is incoherent, pretentious and meaningless nonsense".
The interesting thing is that Amazon then told me that I did not need to return the item.
I went on the FAQ section and was told that this often happens with items of "low value" or "not worth the cost of postage to return".
Game, set and match.
On the other hand, Gene's booklet is holding its position at number 829,064 - no downward movement in just under two hours.
I have published three books - REAL books that publishers commissioned me to write, and on which they paid royalties - not KPD print-to-order on-line vanity publications.
Nor I am obsessed. I am simply delighted with the complete and utter failure of "Granny Barkes fell in Wooldworths" and your utter failure as a writer, and intent on sharing that delight as widely as possible.
Just be thankful that I didn't publish a full review including your unlovely background as pornographer, peeping tom, and serial groper on Amazon, Gene. And don't annoy me, or I just might...
And at 2130 on Monday January 22nd, "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" has continued to plummet to its eternal rest amongs the whaleshit, which occupies the lowest point below sea-level possible on earth
It now wallows at
number 846,158
in the Amazon Best Sellers List, a fall of
21, 917
places - a rate of fall of 1, 686 places per hour.
And Gene Vincent has yet to provide any evidence - a photograph of a bookshop display, coverage in the Uxbridge and Hillingdon Times, a list of bookshops stocking his booklet - that his groundbreaking, trailblazing novel is, as he claimed “selling like hot cakes” in Uxbridge.
In fact it is selling like gift wrapped dog turds, which, given the fact that. even judged as shit it is shit, seems very appropriate.
Gene accuses me of being obsessed; he is wrong: I am just so thoroughly delighted to see this talentless, narcissistic, twenty-four carat bastard getting such a thoroughly ignomious humiliation.
As my Granny used to say
"The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind exceeding small" - how pleasant to think of Gene's knackers now getting a thorough milling!!!
I have no knowledge of actual sales figures as yet - but I do know that Rattlesnake Press has shipped 20,000 copies of GBFIW to the UK.
You certainly are, as Ducky Duckworth pointed out, obsessed with the fact that I have published a book and you haven't. And never will. Got that bottlejob?
And your review? I told all in Harris & Hoole that it would never happen. And it won't.
"Rattlesnake Press has shipped 20,000 copies of GBFIW to the UK."
There is no such publisher as the Rattlesnake Press. Post a link to its website.
No, I thought not.
"I have published a book"
Yes, you have, an Amazon online print to order KPD vanity published book, that no-one is buying.
Provide any evidence - a photograph of a bookshop display, coverage in the Uxbridge and Hillingdon Times, a list of bookshops stocking his booklet - that your "ground-breaking, trailblazing novel" is, as you claimed “selling like hot cakes” in Uxbridge.
You can't, because it isn't.
"and you haven't."
You are quite right. I have not published A book.
I have published THREE books: REAL books that publishers commissioned me to write, and on which they paid royalties - not KPD print-to-order on-line vanity publications like "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" which is, even judged as shit, shit. And which has sold 19 copies altogether.
"And your review? I told all in Harris & Hoole that it would never happen. And it won't."
I TOLD you not to annoy me, Gene, and now you have.
I will publish my review next week and it will be absolutely merciless.
"Libby Purvis", your forged emails from Clive James, Christopher Ricks and Richard Dawkins for a start: and then the account of your activities as a Peeping Tom and a serial groper of your colleagues at Douay Martyrs, topped off by an account of your abuse of homosexuals - shirt-lifters, poofs, bum-boys, arse-bandits, and clinched by your nasty claims to have fathered my son.
But decorated finally by your stomach churning account of having buggered my wife.
Do you REALLY want to see all that on Amazon?
You must be mad.
But that is what you have chosen, you stupid bastard.
As of 0825 today, Tuesday January 23rd, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” stands at number
859, 782
in the Amazon Best Sellers List.
This is a further overnight fall of
13,000 places.
Were Gene Vincent not such a nasty piece of work this humiliation might be pitiable. As it is, I couldn’t be more pleased to see this ridiculous piece of literary ordure heading for the oblivion is deserves.
“Rattlesnake Press has shipped 20,000 copies of “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” to the UK”.
Absolutely incredible! the average print run for a first book by an unknown author is 5,000. For a ground-breaking, trail-blazing work pioneering a completely new literary genre, no publisher in his right senses would print a first run of more than 3,000.
So Rattlesnake Press, as well as being non- existent, are also commercially barmy.
"No review of Granny Barkes by you will appear. And the reason is that you are not capable of reviewing such an innovative work."
Gene, do stop, you self-important, narcissistic oaf.
It terrifies me to think that you actually believe "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" to be an innovative work of art. Who could be that deluded and still retain any kind of grip on sanity.
It is not: it is a random gallimaufry such as anyone could assemble simply by opening the Oxford Book of Quotations, pointing at random places on the page and copying out the results. The result is six thousand words of meaningless verbal salmagundi, utter piffle without form, rhythm or meaning, bulked out with a random collection of our of copyright photographs.
Amazon has a secure view of its worth. Having refunded the £5.00 that I spent on buying it I was instructed not to bother returning the book, a policy they adopt for goods that they sell of no value whatsoever.
And the proof of the pudding is in the book's reception. At 1252 today it is at number
863,945
in the Amazon Best Sellers List, and fall of over
4000 places
since breakfast. Your ludicrous booklet is being protractedly flushed down the commercial toilet where it belongs, with the rest of the shit.
At 0900 this morning, Saturday January 20th 2024, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” stands at
ReplyDeleteNUMBER 741, 024
in the Amazon Best Sellers list.
Gene Vincent’s booklet has thus dropped in the Amazon Best Sellers list by a record breaking and vertiginous
HALF A MILLION PLACES
In less than two weeks.
Which is many places higher than your memoirs Detterling!!!
ReplyDelete"Granny Barkes fell in Woolworth's" is actually selling like hot cakes here in Uxbridge - and I suspect in many other places. Amazon figures mean nothing here.
GENE
"Which is many places higher than your memoirs Detterling.
DeleteMy memoirs have not been published, Gene, as you well know. That you keep whanging on about them proves that you have nothing else to say to defend your total and utter failure as a writer.
' "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworth's" is actually selling like hot cakes here in Uxbridge'
Post a photograph of the shop window or in-shop display of "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths". in Uxbridge.
No, thought not.
Post a list of bookshops that are selling it "elsewhere".
No, thought not.
I presume that all these shops are stocking the second impression of the book - you know, the one with the revised cover photograph which miraculously replaced the original within twenty four hours of its being pointed out that "Johnny Bluenote" [ie you] had carelessly used a photograph of a real person with living relatives.
BALLS, Gene: "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is a KPD on-line print to order publication available only on Amazon.
And there it is selling like ice cream cornets filled with cold sick.
At 1400 today, it was standing at number
745,866
in the Amazon Books Best Sellers list - 4, 000 places lower than five hours ago.
"Amazon figures mean nothing here."
Bollocks.
They mean that "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is a complete and abject abortion, bomb, botch, bungle, bust, fiasco. flop, lemon, loser, mess, miscarriage, rout, turkey, washout and wreck.
Four weeks in print and not a single review.
How many have you sold altogether, Gene? I think we should be told.
"Amazon figures mean nothing here."
Bollocks. Yes, they do.
They mean that since January 10th, when sales figures were first posted on Amazon, "Granny Barkes " has plummeted by 509,178 places - well over HALF A MILLION - which is an umistakeable sign that it has bombed completely.
"Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is fucked - a great deal more thoroughly than she ever was in real life, I daresay.
' "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworth's" is actually selling like hot cakes here in Uxbridge'
In which case why is there no mention of its publication and runaway success in The Hillingdon and Uxbridge Times?
You'd think a local author publishing a ground-breaking, trail blazing novel selling like hot cakes would be headline news, but no. When I searched their website for "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworth's" the top reference was a story that the Uxbridge Woolworth's was due to shut in December 2008.
Face it, Gene, you can't bullshit your way out of this,
At 0830 on Sunday January 21st, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” is continuing its precipitous descent into the literary oblivion where it belongs. It now stands at number
ReplyDelete783368
in the Amazon Best Sellers List.
Gene Vincent and his sock puppet/co-author claimed yesterday that Amazon sales figures are “meaningless” and that the booklet is “selling like hot cakes in Uxbridge and elsewhere”.
However, Syd “Bad Breath” Dangleberry, the Hillingdon turf accountant who also acts as literary agent for the Vincent-Bluenote partnership, said last night in an interview in The Good Yarn, Uxbridge,
“Hot cakes you say? I’ll be buggered if I know where he’s got that from.You can only buy it on Amazon anyway, and I’m having trouble giving it away to reviewers there. I’d do better selling pork pies at a synagogue.”
At 0825 GMT today, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” occupied position number
ReplyDelete824,241
In the Amazon Best Selling Books List.
And Gene Vincent has yet to provide any evidence - a photograph of a bookshop display, coverage in the Uxbridge and Hillingdon Times, a list of bookshops stocking his booklet - that his groundbreaking, trailblazing novel is, as he claimed “selling like hot cakes” in Uxbridge.
In fact it is selling like gift wrapped dog turds, which, given the fact that. even judged as shit it is shit, seems very appropriate.
At 1345 GMT today, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” occupied position number
ReplyDelete829,064
In the Amazon Best Selling Books List. This is a fall of
4, 823
in just over five hours - a gravitational force busting
964
places per hour. At this rate, this dreadful piece of literary manure will hit place number
1,000, 000
in the Amazon Best Sellers list in 36 hours' time - that is to say, by
0100 on the morning of Wednesday, January 24th, 2024.
Is this a record?
How many copies of “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” have actually been sold?
I think we should be told.
Interesting.
ReplyDeleteI have posted my review on Amazon Returns, as follows.
I asked to return the book and in response to the reason ticked the
"Item unsatisfactory" option. Invited to expand on this I wrote the simplest review I possibly could:
"It is incoherent, pretentious and meaningless nonsense".
The interesting thing is that Amazon then told me that I did not need to return the item.
I went on the FAQ section and was told that this often happens with items of "low value" or "not worth the cost of postage to return".
Game, set and match.
On the other hand, Gene's booklet is holding its position at number 829,064 - no downward movement in just under two hours.
A record.
You are obsessed with this aren't you Detterling? Silly old prick. All because Gene has published a book and you haven't.
ReplyDeleteDucky Duckworth
Bolllocks, Gene, stop embarrassing yourself.
DeleteI have published three books - REAL books that publishers commissioned me to write, and on which they paid royalties - not KPD print-to-order on-line vanity publications.
Nor I am obsessed. I am simply delighted with the complete and utter failure of "Granny Barkes fell in Wooldworths" and your utter failure as a writer, and intent on sharing that delight as widely as possible.
Just be thankful that I didn't publish a full review including your unlovely background as pornographer, peeping tom, and serial groper on Amazon, Gene. And don't annoy me, or I just might...
And at 2130 on Monday January 22nd, "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" has continued to plummet to its eternal rest amongs the whaleshit, which occupies the lowest point below sea-level possible on earth
ReplyDeleteIt now wallows at
number 846,158
in the Amazon Best Sellers List, a fall of
21, 917
places - a rate of fall of 1, 686 places per hour.
And Gene Vincent has yet to provide any evidence - a photograph of a bookshop display, coverage in the Uxbridge and Hillingdon Times, a list of bookshops stocking his booklet - that his groundbreaking, trailblazing novel is, as he claimed “selling like hot cakes” in Uxbridge.
In fact it is selling like gift wrapped dog turds, which, given the fact that. even judged as shit it is shit, seems very appropriate.
Gene accuses me of being obsessed; he is wrong: I am just so thoroughly delighted to see this talentless, narcissistic, twenty-four carat bastard getting such a thoroughly ignomious humiliation.
As my Granny used to say
"The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind exceeding small" - how pleasant to think of Gene's knackers now getting a thorough milling!!!
I have no knowledge of actual sales figures as yet - but I do know that Rattlesnake Press has shipped 20,000 copies of GBFIW to the UK.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly are, as Ducky Duckworth pointed out, obsessed with the fact that I have published a book and you haven't. And never will. Got that bottlejob?
And your review? I told all in Harris & Hoole that it would never happen. And it won't.
GENE
"Rattlesnake Press has shipped 20,000 copies of GBFIW to the UK."
ReplyDeleteThere is no such publisher as the Rattlesnake Press. Post a link to its website.
No, I thought not.
"I have published a book"
Yes, you have, an Amazon online print to order KPD vanity published book, that no-one is buying.
Provide any evidence - a photograph of a bookshop display, coverage in the Uxbridge and Hillingdon Times, a list of bookshops stocking his booklet - that your "ground-breaking, trailblazing novel" is, as you claimed “selling like hot cakes” in Uxbridge.
You can't, because it isn't.
"and you haven't."
You are quite right. I have not published A book.
I have published THREE books: REAL books that publishers commissioned me to write, and on which they paid royalties - not KPD print-to-order on-line vanity publications like "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" which is, even judged as shit, shit. And which has sold 19 copies altogether.
"And your review? I told all in Harris & Hoole that it would never happen. And it won't."
I TOLD you not to annoy me, Gene, and now you have.
I will publish my review next week and it will be absolutely merciless.
"Libby Purvis", your forged emails from Clive James, Christopher Ricks and Richard Dawkins for a start: and then the account of your activities as a Peeping Tom and a serial groper of your colleagues at Douay Martyrs, topped off by an account of your abuse of homosexuals - shirt-lifters, poofs, bum-boys, arse-bandits, and clinched by your nasty claims to have fathered my son.
But decorated finally by your stomach churning account of having buggered my wife.
Do you REALLY want to see all that on Amazon?
You must be mad.
But that is what you have chosen, you stupid bastard.
As of 0825 today, Tuesday January 23rd, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” stands at number
ReplyDelete859, 782
in the Amazon Best Sellers List.
This is a further overnight fall of
13,000 places.
Were Gene Vincent not such a nasty piece of work this humiliation might be pitiable. As it is, I couldn’t be more pleased to see this ridiculous piece of literary ordure heading for the oblivion is deserves.
“Rattlesnake Press has shipped 20,000 copies of “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” to the UK”.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely incredible! the average print run for a first book by an unknown author is 5,000. For a ground-breaking, trail-blazing work pioneering a completely new literary genre, no publisher in his right senses would print a first run of more than 3,000.
So Rattlesnake Press, as well as being non- existent, are also commercially barmy.
Pathetic.
No review of Granny Barkes by you will appear. And the reason is that you are not capable of reviewing such an innovative work.
ReplyDeleteGENE
"No review of Granny Barkes by you will appear. And the reason is that you are not capable of reviewing such an innovative work."
ReplyDeleteGene, do stop, you self-important, narcissistic oaf.
It terrifies me to think that you actually believe "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" to be an innovative work of art. Who could be that deluded and still retain any kind of grip on sanity.
It is not: it is a random gallimaufry such as anyone could assemble simply by opening the Oxford Book of Quotations, pointing at random places on the page and copying out the results. The result is six thousand words of meaningless verbal salmagundi, utter piffle without form, rhythm or meaning, bulked out with a random collection of our of copyright photographs.
Amazon has a secure view of its worth. Having refunded the £5.00 that I spent on buying it I was instructed not to bother returning the book, a policy they adopt for goods that they sell of no value whatsoever.
And the proof of the pudding is in the book's reception. At 1252 today it is at number
863,945
in the Amazon Best Sellers List, and fall of over
4000 places
since breakfast. Your ludicrous booklet is being protractedly flushed down the commercial toilet where it belongs, with the rest of the shit.
Innovative work of art - for fuck's sake.