THE MEANING OF LIFE..
Hi folks. Some astounding news. I was walking home from Harris & Hoole yesterday. I took a shortcut through a walkway and noticed some hedges that needed trimming. I thought I should inform the Borough of Hillingdon. I then started thinking about Roy Orbison's record California Blue. Then out of the blue came this astounding revelation: I had discovered the meaning of life!
GENE
Well, well, well!!
ReplyDeleteGene "Groper" Vincent has discovered the meaning of life, has he?
About bloody time.
He has groped after academic success, after career success, after literary success, the first two of which were rewarded with a lifetime of self-satisfied mediocrity. Gene "Groper" Vincent's groping for literary success win the literary world's least coveted award, called by the incomparable Clive James "The Tin Bum of Rangoon". Gene "Groper" Vincent's vanity publication "Granny Barkes took a dump in Marks and Spencers" recently fell off the Amazon Best Sellers list after it hit rock bottom at number 6,000,000. The only thing to which Gene "Groper" Vincent can now look forward to is writing up his fading memories of groping nubile young women in deserted classrooms and empty corridors, his prose style mixing mincing tweeness - "shapely derrieres" - dear GOD - with saloon bar crudity - "cracking pairs of knockers" - for crying out loud.
These days the only derriere Gene "Groper" Vincent gets to grope is his own sagging, triple-chinned and pustular arse, and he can ony do that with both hands on a clear day. Sad.