OVERHEARD IN HARRIS & HOOLE...
(An occasional feature)
Thursday 20th July
Busy in Uxbridge today - election to replace Boris Johnston. I summoned Tony of the Big Saloon, Mary Winterbourne and Ducky Duckworth to Harris & Hoole as there is something important I want to discuss with them.
The following could be overheard:
GENE: Well folks I have summoned you here as there is something rather important I wish to discuss with you all. It concerns Detterling.
DUCKY DUCKWORTH: Has he died?
GENE: No Ducky, he hasn't died.
MARY WINTERBOURNE: He has now accepted that Man following the Fall is no longer in God's image? He has accepted the doctrine of Original Sin?
GENE: No Mary, the silly old tosser is still claiming that homosexuality is God-given.
MARY WINTERBOURNE: After all that has been explained to him about Pelagian heresy!
GENE: Detterling has not the slightest understanding of the Book of Genesis and is arrogant enough to unilaterally dismiss the Doctrine of Original Sin.
And arrogance, insufferable arrogance, is his trade mark. For example he recently dismissed the phenomenon pf Medjugorje and asserted that the Church had disclaimed it. Of course the Church hasn't and at this moment the Vatican is progressing plans to have Medjugorje made a Pontifical Shrine. For good measure Detterling has diagnosed one of the Medjugorje visionaries mentally ill. The old phoney has never been to Medjugorje and has never met the lady in question. Yet he pronounces her mentally ill - something a whole parade of medical experts who have examined her over the years has not done.
DUCKY DUCKWORTH: What a canting old phoney!
GENE: Anyhow, I have called you here because I have a dilemma. You all know my commitment to freedom of speech.
MARY WINTERBOURNE: Gene you are an outstanding champion of freedom of speech.
GENE: Well Mary, it may be that I have to set this aside in respect of Detterling.
TONY OF THE BIG SALOON: How so?
GENE: He has this week committed two outrageous abuses of free speech.
Firstly he has cruelly traduced the memory of my Great-uncle Claude. You have often heard me talk of Great-uncle Claude. Yes, he was homosexual - only a gay man could wear the type of cardigan he favoured - but his homosexuality was never discussed in the family. Great-uncle Claude was a gentle and generous soul. He was a celibate man whose life revolved around his work in fashion retail, his local parish - alas C of E and his music. He taught me so much about music - from William Byrd to Ivor Novello. He was so generous. When he died in 1983 he left me a substantial sum which was such a propitious windfall as I was going through my divorce and marriage annulment at that time and was on my uppers.
It is so hard to see such a soul traduced.
Detterling also this week made the most evil calumny against Father Calvin Robinson. He stated that Father Calvin supports the execution of gays. This is outright Satanic malice.
DUCKY DUCKWORTH: What a bastard!
GENE: To conclude, I will now give him until next Tuesday, 25th July (the Feast Day of Saint James), to withdraw both these dreadful allegations and apologise.
If he doesn't on his own head be it.
TONY OF THE BIG SALOON: Did any of you watch the Wimbledon men's tennis final last Sunday?
To conclude, I will now give him until next Tuesday, 25th July (the Feast Day of Saint James), to withdraw both these dreadful allegations and apologise.
ReplyDeleteFuck off, you pompous prick.
In case the meaning of that previous post is not clear to you, you bombastic arsehole, I perhaps need to say this.
DeleteI will gladly apologise to you Gene.
But I will only do so when the following condition is met:
EITHER when your "novel" [sic] "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is published
OR when you admit that it never existed, and that the whole story of its being published was a fabrication from beginning to end.
Otherwise, as before, the message is as before - Fuck off, you bombastic bellend.
'Detterling also this week made the most evil calumny against Father Calvin Robinson. He stated that Father Calvin supports the execution of gays. This is outright Satanic malice.'
DeleteAPOLOGISE YOU MALICIOUS SO-AND-SO.
Fuck off.
Delete"APOLOGISE YOU MALICIOUS SO-AND-SO."
DeleteOr else what, you two-faced bastard?
"To conclude, I will now give him until next Tuesday, 25th July (the Feast Day of Saint James), to withdraw both these dreadful allegations and apologise."
ReplyDeleteTranslation: "Detterling is making me look such a complete tit by challenging me to refute the points he makes, rather than simply gainsaying them, that it is becoming obvious even to me that this cannot go on. Accordingly, I shall betray the principle of free speech about I whang on endlessly despite my exercising it only whilst cowering behind a pseudonym, and ban all comments on this blog."
As simply as possible:
I will not say that I am sorry for a word I have said to you. In a long life I have never come across anyone as nasty, lying, two-faced and fake as you. You make this world stink.
Well, this is going very well for Gene, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteSir Henry at Rawlinson End.
Detterling give your full identity and repeat that vile allegation you made against Father Calvin Robinson.
ReplyDeleteYou won't will you as you are just a big Nancyboy.
I will give my full identity when you give yours.
DeleteAnd my "allegation" consists of the following incontrovertible facts - feel free to disprove them.
[a] "Father" Calvin Robinson is a "priest" in the "Free Church of England".
[b] The "Free Church of England" allies itself with GAFCON and the Global South Fellowship of the Anglican Communion.
[c] This must mean that "Father" Calvin Robinson assents to the social policies of Anglican churches in GAFCON and the Global South Fellowship unless he has specifically dissociated himself from them.
[d] The Anglican Church in Uganda has supported Uganda's policy of executing homosexuals for expressing their sexality.
[e] It is therefore to be inferred that "Father" Calvin Robinson supports the execution of homosexuals for expressing their sexuality unless he has specifically dissociated himself from this policy.
[f] Since he has dissociated himself from neither [c] nor [e] above, then there can be reason to suppose that "Father" Calvin Robinson does not support the execution of homosexuals for expressing their sexuality.
[g] nor, by extension, can it be wrong to assume that, as a man who lavishly arse-creeps "Father" Calvin Robinson, that you, Gene, also does not support the policy of executing homosexuals for expressing their sexuality.
This is hard to understand from a man whose Great-Uncle Claude was, in his day, one of the most notorious buggers in London. Woe betide a man who dropped the soap in the showers at the Turkish Baths in Covent Garden when Great-Uncle Claude was around. Still, unlike his great-nephew Robert, he always asked nicely before forcing his sexual attentions on people, and was happy to take no for an answer.
In short, Gene, FUCK OFF.
Wow, Gene, you have really got Detterling on the ropes now, haven't you.
DeleteCome on, son, just put him away a remorselessly logical refutation of his arguments......oh, wait......
Sir Henry at Rawlinson End.