MISSION STATEMENT ... To celebrate where it's deserved! ... To take the Michael out of institutions and individuals where it's deserved! ...
Recently I had occasion to prepare my gravestone epitaph:
GENE...
Educator, Novelist,
Humanitarian and Humorist
- TO KNOW HIM WAS TO LOVE HIM -
Rest in Peace
....... But while I am still walking the earth do not hesitate to contact me at:
bobbyslingshot8@gmail.com
Friday, 22 December 2023
Granny Barkes Fell in Woolworth's Paperback – 20 Dec. 2023
Granny Barkes: a biography and an illustrated life.
Length
114
Pages
Language
EN
English
Publication date
2023
December 20
Available at amazon.co.uk and Amazon USA, Amazon Italy, Amazon Japan, Amazon France, Amazon Germany, Amazon Poland, Amazon Canada, Amazon Netherlands, Amazon Australia etc.
There is no such press at the Rattlesnake Press in La Jolla, California or anywhere else.
Available at amazon.co.uk - no, an Amazon search turned up nothing.
This is serious delusion, and for that reason I have decide to bring forward my referral of Gene's plight to Fr Nicholas Scholfield and Angela Atkins at the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes and St Peter, Uxbridge.
This is a man in urgent need of professional help - taking this amount of trouble to authenticate a delusion is a hair's breadth from serious psychosis.
Because, Gene, you are a prominent member of the Catholic Community in Uxbridge desperately in need of help with your mental health, and as a Catholic priest Fr Schofield will, with the information I shall give him, be able to identify you. If you are not a member of his parish then he will be able to find out which parish you belong to, and from then it will be easy to organise focused help for you.
It's not so much that Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins will be interested, more that they will be able to exercise their pastoral duty of care and perhaps get medical help for you, Gene.
This latest psychosis is really frightening. You have "published" a "novel" that was going to "revolutionise the genre" which turns out to be [at best] a vanity publication for which you have bought an American ISBN for $18, as well as paying the publishers for the publication. The book is itself of scissors and paste job or no literary merit, fewer than 30, 000 words long after twelve years' work - and probably a great deal shorter, given that you have probably padded it out with a lot of out-of-copyright newspaper photographs of bygone Uxbridge. It wouldn't surprise me to find that you've knocked it up in the last couple of months after you announced that it would come out in time for Christmas. And it is easy enough to place an advertisement on Amazon with a direct click-on access to your own website.
Anyway, Gene, not only have I begun to grasp what you have done but also I have a handle on how you have done it.
But never fear, help is on its way. Once Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins realise what a desperate state you are in, help will swiftly be at hand.
The thought of which is, of course, causing your bowels to deliquesce, hence your rapid removal of the post below once you realise just how appalled Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins are going to be by the chaotic state of your mind.
The book listed on Amazon only appears when you click the link on this website - it does not appear when you search Amazon Books using either the "author's name", the title or the ISBN.
Also, googling the ISBN produces this
"About 0 results (0.17 seconds) Your search - 9781671990722 - did not match any documents. Suggestions: Make sure that all words are spelled correctly. Try different keywords. Try more general keywords."
whereas Googling a random book's ISBN from my shelves 0224013866 takes me Clive James's Visions before Midnight.
And of course you can buy an ISBN in America for $18, not to mention that the thickness of the book - a quarter of an inch - suggests a glorified pamphlet.
There is something very fishy about this - using the link on this page takes you to a page showing the book, but I cannot believe any publisher in his right senses would print a blurb saying that "Gene Vincent's writing has drawn comparisons with James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway and Evelyn Waugh".
And of course "Independently Published" is a polite term for vanity publishing - there is no such company as the Rattlesnake Press in La Jolla or anywhere.
A very clever fake, Gene, but still a fake of some sort - it isn't even a novel - "a biography and an illustrated life." suggests scissors and paste to me.
This latest psychosis is really frightening. You have "published" a "novel" that was going to "revolutionise the genre" which turns out to be [at best] a vanity publication for which you have bought an American ISBN for $18, as well as paying the publishers for the publication. The book is itself of scissors and paste job or no literary merit, fewer than 30, 000 words long after twelve years' work - and probably a great deal shorter, given that you have probably padded it out with a lot of out-of-copyright newspaper photographs of bygone Uxbridge. It wouldn't surprise me to find that you've knocked it up in the last couple of months after you announced that it would come out in time for Christmas. And it is easy enough to place an advertisement on Amazon with a direct click-on access to your own website.
Anyway, Gene, not only have I begun to grasp what you have done but also I have a handle on how you have done it.
But never fear, help is on its way. Once Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins realise what a desperate state you are in, help will swiftly be at hand.
The thought of which is, of course, causing your bowels to deliquesce, hence your rapid removal of the post below once you realise just how appalled Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins are going to be by the chaotic state of your mind.
"Detterling you have been stuffed. Proven wrong. You said that Granny Barkes would never be published and it has. The book sells at £5.00 and is 114 pages in length. YOU CAN'T BLUFF AND BLUSTER YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE."
I did say that "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" would never be published. And a book called "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" has been - apparently - published and so of course I own that I was wrong in my prediction.
That "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" has been published using the colophon of a Californian publishing firm which does not appear to exist is some cause for bewilderment. Likewise, the fact that searching for the book in the Amazon book department, or on any one of five search-engines - whether you use the title, the author's name or the quoted ISBN - produces no results at all.
It can be accessed only using the link in the post at the top of this thread - a phenomenon which suggests that something irregular is going on.
And most suspicious of all is the enthusiastic support for the book evidenced by two of your more egregiously obvious sock-puppets - Mary Winterbourne and Ducky Duckworth.
As it is, I shall order a copy of "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" now - that is, if and when I find it via the conventional route on Amazon - and post a review at some point next week. I will not use the link on this blog on the grounds that I will not offer my name, address and contact details to this website. If I am unable to order the book through the conventional Amazon route, then that will confirm my suspicions tha this "publication" is some how bogus.
In the meantime, my concern over your psychosis which is, it seems to me, growing daily more florid, will ensure that Fr Schofield will be alerted soon to your need for help.
There will be no "nutcase" correspondence. I will email them both, opening the email with the words
"I am very seriously concerned as to the mental health and wellbeing of a man who is a prominent member of the Catholic Community in Uxbridge. In the interests of my own safety, I will not tell you his name, but you may recognise him from the following description:
He was born in 1957, and went to the Cardinal Vaughan School in Holland Park, studied PPE at St John’s College, Oxford from 1975 – 1978 and then did a PGCE at St Mary’s College, Strawberry Hill, Twickenham.
He has been married twice, the first marriage having been annulled, and has been married to “Marianne” for over thirty years and has three adult children, two daughters and a son, as well as a grandson. He lives in Uxbridge and frequented The Good Yarn in Uxbridge with a group of his friends each Friday night until he was banned for life following an unprovoked assault on another customer. He was, during his time in post as a teacher at Douay Martyrs, bald, bespectacled and wore a goatee beard. He retired in December 2016 from a post as teacher of Law and Acting [or substantive] Head of Sixth Form at Douay Martyrs. He was twice the subject of professional sanctions at his school, the first being for abuse of the school’s IT facilities, using them to write his blog during directed time. The second arose from a complaint made by a female colleague following “Gene Vincent’s” face to face scoffing and sneering at her in the school staffroom when the motion to create women bishops in the Church of England was defeated in the General Synod – the target of this unpleasant attack being nicknamed “The Church of England Busybody”. It appears in that last connection that Gene was so disliked and despised in the staffroom that the two teacher governors refused to support him, and further that he escaped professional sanctions only by denying that he was Gene Vincent. That he published these unpleasant sneers on his blog under the name of Gene Vincent, and boasted of the way in which he had abused his colleague is a matter of record. His denial of this at the Governors’ hearing would appear to make him a liar as well as a coward.
"Gene Vincent is suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder as well as a degree of sociopathy......
- after which I well detail the recent behaviours, attitudes and actions which support my belief and ask for the good Father's pastoral help.
Oh, by the way, I have cracked the "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" scam. It is very easy to register a fake book for sale on Amazon, given that they cannot possibly check the content of the 30, 000 volumes they publish annually. All that is necessary is a convincing photoshop of a front and back cover, some sample pages and a few illustrations - everything, in fact, that "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" actually consists of.
Typical of you, Gene, that even your fraudulence is totally incompetent. You published the bogus copy at the head of this post five hours ago, and even a relative IT tyro like me has blown it apart in less than that.
All of which makes your accessing professional help for your desperate mental state yet more urgent. Definitely on my "to do" list for Boxing Day.
Congratulations Gene. We never doubted you.
ReplyDeleteMary Winterbourne
Ha! Ha! Ha! Gene you have silenced Detterling good and proper.
ReplyDeleteDucky Duckworth
The ISBN: 9781671990722 given does not exist.
ReplyDeleteThere is no such press at the Rattlesnake Press in La Jolla, California or anywhere else.
Available at amazon.co.uk - no, an Amazon search turned up nothing.
This is serious delusion, and for that reason I have decide to bring forward my referral of Gene's plight to Fr Nicholas Scholfield and Angela Atkins at the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes and St Peter, Uxbridge.
This is a man in urgent need of professional help - taking this amount of trouble to authenticate a delusion is a hair's breadth from serious psychosis.
"...the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes and St Peter, Uxbridge."
DeleteIt's the Church of Our Lady of Lourdes and Saint Michael.
And why on earth would Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins be interested?
Ducky Duckworth
Because, Gene, you are a prominent member of the Catholic Community in Uxbridge desperately in need of help with your mental health, and as a Catholic priest Fr Schofield will, with the information I shall give him, be able to identify you. If you are not a member of his parish then he will be able to find out which parish you belong to, and from then it will be easy to organise focused help for you.
DeleteIt's not so much that Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins will be interested, more that they will be able to exercise their pastoral duty of care and perhaps get medical help for you, Gene.
This latest psychosis is really frightening. You have "published" a "novel" that was going to "revolutionise the genre" which turns out to be [at best] a vanity publication for which you have bought an American ISBN for $18, as well as paying the publishers for the publication. The book is itself of scissors and paste job or no literary merit, fewer than 30, 000 words long after twelve years' work - and probably a great deal shorter, given that you have probably padded it out with a lot of out-of-copyright newspaper photographs of bygone Uxbridge. It wouldn't surprise me to find that you've knocked it up in the last couple of months after you announced that it would come out in time for Christmas. And it is easy enough to place an advertisement on Amazon with a direct click-on access to your own website.
Anyway, Gene, not only have I begun to grasp what you have done but also I have a handle on how you have done it.
But never fear, help is on its way. Once Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins realise what a desperate state you are in, help will swiftly be at hand.
The thought of which is, of course, causing your bowels to deliquesce, hence your rapid removal of the post below once you realise just how appalled Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins are going to be by the chaotic state of your mind.
Yours faithfully,
Detterling
The book listed on Amazon only appears when you click the link on this website - it does not appear when you search Amazon Books using either the "author's name", the title or the ISBN.
ReplyDeleteAlso, googling the ISBN produces this
"About 0 results (0.17 seconds)
Your search - 9781671990722 - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
Make sure that all words are spelled correctly.
Try different keywords.
Try more general keywords."
whereas Googling a random book's ISBN from my shelves 0224013866 takes me Clive James's Visions before Midnight.
And of course you can buy an ISBN in America for $18, not to mention that the thickness of the book - a quarter of an inch - suggests a glorified pamphlet.
There is something very fishy about this - using the link on this page takes you to a page showing the book, but I cannot believe any publisher in his right senses would print a blurb saying that "Gene Vincent's writing has drawn comparisons with James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway and Evelyn Waugh".
And of course "Independently Published" is a polite term for vanity publishing - there is no such company as the Rattlesnake Press in La Jolla or anywhere.
A very clever fake, Gene, but still a fake of some sort - it isn't even a novel - "a biography and an illustrated life." suggests scissors and paste to me.
Detterling you have been stuffed. Proven wrong.
ReplyDeleteThe book sells at £5.00 and is 114 pages in length.
YOU CAN'T BLUFF AND BLUSTER YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE.
You said that Granny Barkes would never be published and it has.
When are we going to see your memoirs? Last I heard is that you were too much of a bottlejob to publish these while you were alive.
GENE
This latest psychosis is really frightening. You have "published" a "novel" that was going to "revolutionise the genre" which turns out to be [at best] a vanity publication for which you have bought an American ISBN for $18, as well as paying the publishers for the publication. The book is itself of scissors and paste job or no literary merit, fewer than 30, 000 words long after twelve years' work - and probably a great deal shorter, given that you have probably padded it out with a lot of out-of-copyright newspaper photographs of bygone Uxbridge. It wouldn't surprise me to find that you've knocked it up in the last couple of months after you announced that it would come out in time for Christmas. And it is easy enough to place an advertisement on Amazon with a direct click-on access to your own website.
DeleteAnyway, Gene, not only have I begun to grasp what you have done but also I have a handle on how you have done it.
But never fear, help is on its way. Once Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins realise what a desperate state you are in, help will swiftly be at hand.
The thought of which is, of course, causing your bowels to deliquesce, hence your rapid removal of the post below once you realise just how appalled Fr Schofield and Ms Atkins are going to be by the chaotic state of your mind.
Fr Schofield is an erudite man - he read History at Exeter College, Oxford by the way. I have known Angela Atkins for years. She is an astute lady.
DeleteBoth will recognise nutcase correspondence (written in greeen ink no doubt) for what it is.
GENE
I just lover the cover design Gene.
ReplyDeleteI have of course a copy of the book and enjoy it immensely. Will it come out on Kindle?
I can't wait to see the reviews of Granny Barkes.
Please pass on my congratulations to Johnny Bluenote for his superb illustrations.
Mary Winterbourne.
"Detterling you have been stuffed. Proven wrong. You said that Granny Barkes would never be published and it has. The book sells at £5.00 and is 114 pages in length. YOU CAN'T BLUFF AND BLUSTER YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE."
ReplyDeleteI did say that "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" would never be published. And a book called "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" has been - apparently - published and so of course I own that I was wrong in my prediction.
That "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" has been published using the colophon of a Californian publishing firm which does not appear to exist is some cause for bewilderment. Likewise, the fact that searching for the book in the Amazon book department, or on any one of five search-engines - whether you use the title, the author's name or the quoted ISBN - produces no results at all.
It can be accessed only using the link in the post at the top of this thread - a phenomenon which suggests that something irregular is going on.
And most suspicious of all is the enthusiastic support for the book evidenced by two of your more egregiously obvious sock-puppets - Mary Winterbourne and Ducky Duckworth.
As it is, I shall order a copy of "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" now - that is, if and when I find it via the conventional route on Amazon - and post a review at some point next week. I will not use the link on this blog on the grounds that I will not offer my name, address and contact details to this website. If I am unable to order the book through the conventional Amazon route, then that will confirm my suspicions tha this "publication" is some how bogus.
In the meantime, my concern over your psychosis which is, it seems to me, growing daily more florid, will ensure that Fr Schofield will be alerted soon to your need for help.
Fr Schofield is an erudite man - he read History at Exeter College, Oxford by the way. I have known Angela Atkins for years. She is an astute lady.
DeleteBoth will recognise nutcase correspondence (written in green ink no doubt) for what it is.
GENE
There will be no "nutcase" correspondence. I will email them both, opening the email with the words
Delete"I am very seriously concerned as to the mental health and wellbeing of a man who is a prominent member of the Catholic Community in Uxbridge. In the interests of my own safety, I will not tell you his name, but you may recognise him from the following description:
He was born in 1957, and went to the Cardinal Vaughan School in Holland Park, studied PPE at St John’s College, Oxford from 1975 – 1978 and then did a PGCE at St Mary’s College, Strawberry Hill, Twickenham.
He has been married twice, the first marriage having been annulled, and has been married to “Marianne” for over thirty years and has three adult children, two daughters and a son, as well as a grandson. He lives in Uxbridge and frequented The Good Yarn in Uxbridge with a group of his friends each Friday night until he was banned for life following an unprovoked assault on another customer.
He was, during his time in post as a teacher at Douay Martyrs, bald, bespectacled and wore a goatee beard. He retired in December 2016 from a post as teacher of Law and Acting [or substantive] Head of Sixth Form at Douay Martyrs.
He was twice the subject of professional sanctions at his school, the first being for abuse of the school’s IT facilities, using them to write his blog during directed time.
The second arose from a complaint made by a female colleague following “Gene Vincent’s” face to face scoffing and sneering at her in the school staffroom when the motion to create women bishops in the Church of England was defeated in the General Synod – the target of this unpleasant attack being nicknamed “The Church of England Busybody”. It appears in that last connection that Gene was so disliked and despised in the staffroom that the two teacher governors refused to support him, and further that he escaped professional sanctions only by denying that he was Gene Vincent. That he published these unpleasant sneers on his blog under the name of Gene Vincent, and boasted of the way in which he had abused his colleague is a matter of record. His denial of this at the Governors’ hearing would appear to make him a liar as well as a coward.
"Gene Vincent is suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder as well as a degree of sociopathy......
- after which I well detail the recent behaviours, attitudes and actions which support my belief and ask for the good Father's pastoral help.
Oh, by the way, I have cracked the "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" scam. It is very easy to register a fake book for sale on Amazon, given that they cannot possibly check the content of the 30, 000 volumes they publish annually. All that is necessary is a convincing photoshop of a front and back cover, some sample pages and a few illustrations - everything, in fact, that "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" actually consists of.
Typical of you, Gene, that even your fraudulence is totally incompetent. You published the bogus copy at the head of this post five hours ago, and even a relative IT tyro like me has blown it apart in less than that.
All of which makes your accessing professional help for your desperate mental state yet more urgent. Definitely on my "to do" list for Boxing Day.