Gene's blog returns. And Detterling? The news may not be good.

Gene's blog returns. And Detterling? The news may not be good.

Ahoy! there me hearties! Shiver me timbers if it isn't good to be back. Yes Gene's blog is back in business - and what delights are in store.

And Detterling I hear you ask? I have a sinking feeling that the news may not be good. I fear that Detterling may have died. He hasn't been seen or heard of since 13th July. And whether on the TES website, Gene's blog or his own blog such a lengthy disappearance is unprecedented. He had posted last year that he has serious health issues and wasn't expecting to live much longer.

If he has died God rest his soul. Okay, we had our battles, but deep down we had the ultimate respect for each other. I treasure great memories of the barbed exchanges between myself and the old phony. My favourite? Undoubtedly this one from the TES Opinion Forum:

Detterling: I know that you probably despise me Gene

Gene: Well if I ever gave it any thought I probably would.

So we will not now see his memoirs published - not I guess that there was ever any real chance that this would ever happen. But, I guess that the fantasy of their publication was comforting to him

You know I think that Detters was becoming influenced by my writing style and my approach to writing - particularly in respect of the searing honest displayed in such works as the account of my life as a young man: HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SUCH A PRAT?

But every cloud has a silver lining as they say and Detterling's demise means that the coast is clear and Gene's blog returns. And, as I said, what treats and delights are in store! 

At midnight Gene's blog will close down for an indefinite period...

At midnight Gene's blog will close down for an indefinite period...

Well folks this is it. At midnight Gene's blog will close down for an indefinite period. We all know why. Detterling has seriously invaded my privacy and anonymity. A totally despicable thing to do. He has obviously hired a private investigator and posted some information thus obtained about a former work colleague. He also obviously plans to release bit by bit a series of disclosures that he has obtained through the actions of this money-grubbing snoop. Disclosures that will reveal my identity.

FOUL PLAY!

I am so sorry that loyal readers will be deprived for a period from enjoying this blog - but I must protect my privacy. I will figure out a way to return.


Love you all,


GENE

THE MOST SLIMY CREEP EVER TO CRAWL OUT OF A TYNESIDE SEWER

THE MOST SLIMY CREEP EVER TO CRAWL OUT OF A TYNESIDE SEWER


Detterling regarding your most recent correspondence:


1 You have engaged a private investigator to dig up material in a totally futile attempt to harm me.


or


2  You have been contacted by one or both of those two teacher governor scumbags.


Either way despicable.


This makes you candidate for the title of  'The most slimy creep ever to crawl out of a Tyneside sewer.'

An open letter to Detters

An open letter to Detters

A CHALLENGE FOR, AND A PROMISE TO GENE VINCENT

THE CHALLENGE:

[1] Produce some concrete evidence of the existence of the TES Opinion Clique - other, that is, than your demented vapourings on the subject;

[2] Tell us where we can purchase a copy of Annie Baker's book "ORDEAL! THE TALE OF MY TORMENT AND SUFFERING INFLICTED BY THE CLIQUE";

[3] Substantiate or withdraw the utterly despicable allegation that

" .....a gentleman from West Sussex posted that his wife had committed suicide after being harassed and bullied for months by The Clique."

Obviously, for the sake of the widowed gentlemen, these data could not be published en clair, and so all you will need to do is to send me a verifiable internet source. I suggest the name of the Coroner's Court where the inquest was held, and the month and year when this took place. I will do the necessary research, and Christ help you if I catch you out in a lie.

Now let's take this step by step:

[1] Produce some concrete evidence of the existence of the TES Opinion Clique - other, that is, than your demented vapourings on the subject...

It is absurd of you to claim that The Clique did not exist. You are certainly aware of how many posters on TES Opinion Forum engaged in protracted crossfire about The Clique both at the time of it's reign and following its demise. Unfortunately the Opinion Forum was taken down about two years ago so no data is readily accessible. However, I do have some relevant posts that I have on a now disused laptop - it will take me a few days to retrieve this data but I will certainly publish it. Also check any archived posts you may have and you will no doubt come across adequate proof of The Clique's existence.

[2] Tell us where we can purchase a copy of Annie Baker's book "ORDEAL! THE TALE OF MY TORMENT AND SUFFERING INFLICTED BY THE CLIQUE";

Check Amazon or Abe Books.

[3] Substantiate or withdraw the utterly despicable allegation that

" .....a gentleman from West Sussex posted that his wife had committed suicide after being harassed and bullied for months by The Clique."

Now Detters you know that this is impossible. I never knew his name or that of his wife.

Yes, you will ruin me if the press publish all this. Although I am guilty of nothing other than playful satire. But could you live with yourself  -  with the guilt of involving the gutter press? This is the sort of behaviour that got you banned for life from the TES website. 

My feeling is that all these threats are in retaliation for the way I silenced that snake in the grass, Mr Anon of Northwood. Whatever you think of me you must admit that I pulled off a brilliant stroke here. No press archives will ever surface.

An Easter Sunday homily...

An Easter Sunday homily...







(This homily was delivered on Easter Sunday 2017 in a C of E church on Tyneside by a visiting C of E pastor who wishes to remain anonymous.)


Dearly Beloved,


First let us get all the Tyneside colloquialisms, aphorisms, clichés and platitudes out of the way:


"Northern born and northern bred. Broad in the arm and thick in the head" "nooling"  "charver"  "mint" "belter"  "away the lads" "hinny" "wor lad" "gan nin" "howay" "Geordie's lost his penga" "Toon army"  "Bonnie lad"  "Doon the double ra" "Scotswood Road"  "The Blaydon Races" ...


Oh! my. Doesn't that feel better? (laughter)


Now dear brothers and sisters we have all heard the quote from Edmund Burke:

“Evil thrives when good people do nothing”

This is a quote that stirred my heart. Evil has surely made itself known and one does not have to go far to see it or hear about it. This quote has applied to each and every one of us from the beginning of creation until the end of days on earth.  From a Christian perspective, I have recognized the necessary participation we as believers need to have in this world.  Now this morning I would like to apply the corollary to Edmund Burke's observation and state that: "Evil disappears when good men do something."





Edmund Burke

Dear brothers and sisters let us cast our minds back a few years to a dreadful reign of terror that befell England's green and pleasant land. This occurred on the Opinion Forum of the website of the TES publication. Many of us are familiar with what happened but let us refresh our memories. A nefarious grouping, who became known as The Clique, gained a hold on Opinion Forum. The Clique was composed mostly of  pinko liberal and extreme left-wing Fascists and their agenda was to exterminate all opinion that did not go along with their support for such left wing/liberal causes as the Gay Lobby and pro-abortion, pro-euthanasia stances. To say The Clique carried out a reign of terror is to totally understate. These guys made the Waffen-SS look like 'bob a job' Boy Scouts.



In those dark days on Opinion Forum you toed the pinko liberal line or else! Many suffered horrendously. A recent account by a survivor  - a lady named Annie Baker - I recommend to all of you.  Her book is entitled:

ORDEAL! 
THE TALE OF MY TORMENT AND SUFFERING
 INFLICTED BY THE CLIQUE

and it makes harrowing reading.

The Clique activities were led by pinko liberal  par excellence Obergruppenführer  Detterling. He was aided and abetted by a dreadful woman from Glasgow's Gorbals named Seren_dipity, by an pathetic mummy's boy named Bigkid and by a host of fellow travellers with codenames such as Lilyofthefield, Inky, Jacob, Scintillant, Florian Gassmann et al. Detterling directed operations and the group communicated through landlines, faxes, mobile phones, telexes, texts and the personal messaging facility of the website. Anyone who looked as if they might be dissident to The Clique's agenda was targeted, harassed, bullied and hounded.

And who was the good man who opposed such evil? Step forward Gene Vincent:  Educator, Novelist, Humanitarian and Humorist. Gene fought The Clique from the very outset. His war cry was:

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight on Opinion Forum,
we shall fight on the seas and oceans,
we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in cyberspace,

we shall defend our principles, whatever the cost may be,
we shall fight on the beaches,
we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills;
we shall never surrender...

He taunted The Clique with:

"COME ON CLIQUE. MAKE MY DAY!"

At times things looked grim. Possibly the lowest point was when a gentleman from West Sussex posted that his wife had committed suicide after being harassed and bullied for months by The Clique. This news seemed to galvanise Gene into a superhuman effort and he staged, metaphorically speaking, his 'Normandy landings' and within a matter of  weeks The Clique was vanquished.

So: "Evil disappears when good men do something."

Now dearly beloved what I hear you ask became of Obergruppenführer  Detterling? Well, my dear brethren Obergruppenführer  Detterling is living right here in your midst on Tyneside. (Gasps and sharp intakes of breath from the congregation) 

Yes, now an old man of 73, he can sometimes be spotted ambling along the Scotswood Road bizarrely dressed in a blue denim jacket, lovat chinos and in green socks in open-toed sandals.  Mostly however he remains indoors listening to his collection of appalling late 60s/early 70s progressive rock albums: Emmerson, Lake and Palmer, Barclay James Harvest and Iron Butterfly.

And why I hear you ask is he not in sackcloth and ashes praying to the Lord to forgive him? Why not indeed brothers and sisters?


Detterling claims to be writing his memoirs. Whether this is so or not I have no way of knowing. And if such memoirs are written it is not for me to speculate on whether they will be published. What I can say with confidence is that in these 'memoirs' there will be no mention of Opinion Forum - or if there is it will be a completely sanitised account.

I called on this wretched soul last week in preparation for this homily. I knocked on his door and after an interminable wait hear footsteps shuffling to the door. The door creaked open and there stood Detterling a pathetic wretch of a man.

"Good morning Mr Detterling I bring you tidings from Gene Vincent, he sends you the following message: 'WHAT LARKS DETTERS!" I said in a most civil manner. He glared at me venomously and snarled in best Fr Jack fashion: "Gobshite!" He slammed the door in my face and as he shuffled inwards I heard a muffled: "Bastard!"

Father Jack:  "Gobshite!"

GENERAL ELECTION: Detterling predicts a landslide victory for Jeremy Corbyn

GENERAL ELECTION: Detterling predicts a landslide victory for Jeremy Corbyn


In an immediate reaction to Theresa May calling a General Election on June 8th the aging Tyneside pinko liberal, Canting Dettering, in an interview with the Huffington Post predicted a landslide victory for the Labour Party led by Jeremy Corbyn.


"Any psephologist worth his salt can see that the country is crying out for a Labour government led by the charismatic Mr Corbyn," claims the former supply teacher.


Mr Detterling is 73.




Labour's charismatic leader Jeremy Corbyn

Gene's blog may be (temporarily) closing today. Reopening after Easter

Gene's blog may be (temporarily) closing today. Reopening after Easter


I may be closing down this blog until after Easter. I will inform readers on my decision later today. I just need silence and serenity in this holy season.


I wish all my readers a happy and holy Easter.


(Detters I wish you, Delia, Sebastian, Cosmas and Damian a blessed Easter.)


GENE

Resurrection Morning   ...   Edward Coley Burne-Jones