Just a reminder...
ADVANCE NOTICE...
There will be no new posts published on Gene's blog from 22nd June until 15th of July 2026.
Gene will be on pilgrimage, firstly on Iona, and then on Lindisfarne.
Apologies for any inconvenience.
ps
Readers' comments can however still be posted during that time
MONDAY JUNE 22nd
ReplyDeleteThree cheers for this respite from Gene's ballsachingly tedious, fatuously self-important, appallingly composed and plagiarised nonsense, laboriously dredged from the foetid literary midden that passes for his mind.
TUESDAY JUNE 23rd
ReplyDeleteGene's diseased imagination, coupled with his unmitigated nastiness, has produced torrents of vileness over the years, but perhaps the nadir of this literary sewage was the accusation, repeated over many years that an imaginary group of posters on the TES Opinion website - Detterling among them - had hounded a female teacher - one Myrtle Thornberry - into committing suicide. Although this was patently nonsense, Gene maintained that it had happened, despite failing to produce such elementary proof as the date and time of her inquest. To make such an allegation is vile and to persist in it is unforgivable; but perhaps worst of all was the way in which, in the end, he always weasels his way out of taking responsibility for his nastiness: such libellous and lying slurs are "rip-roaring, good humoured banter exchanged in a spirit of rollicking to and fro".
Are they fuck. They are filth written by filth.
TUESDAY JUNE 23rd [continued]:
ReplyDelete...and here is the proof - originally posted in 2016, and reposted as recently as 2021.
"THURSDAY 17th AUGUST, 2021 And none of us of course forget your role as Obergruppenführer of the notorious Opinion Forum Clique. What a reign of terror that was! Many suffered greviously. A good account is given in Annie Baker's book, ORDEAL: The Tale of my Torment and Suffering inflicted by the Clique. You were aided and abetted by many of your fellow pinko liberal travellers with codenames such as Lilyofthefield, Inky, Jacob, Scintillant, Florian Gassmann et al. But your principal allies in this disgraceful episode were that appalling woman from the Gorbals, Seren_dipity and that pathetic mummy's boy from Tower Hamlets, Bigkid.
You, Detterling, directed operations and the group communicated through landlines, faxes, mobile phones, telexes, texts and the personal messaging facility of the TES website. Anyone who looked as if they might be dissident to The Clique's agenda was targeted, harassed, bullied and hounded.
The final straw came when a gentleman from West Sussex posted that his wife, an experienced teacher, had committed suicide after being bullied and harassed by the Clique for three months. At that point I took up the cudgels in earnest and routed the Clique. During this time I did warn you that your behaviour would result in you being banished to the Bottomless Pit when your days in this Vale of Tears were over."
All nonsense, of course, particularly Gene's boast that he had "routed the Clique". For a start it didn't exist; and if individual members engaged with Gene they tore him to shreds.
TOMORROW: GENE BOASTS ABOUT SODOMISING SOMEONE ELSE'S WIFE...
WEDNESDAY JUNE 24th [take two]
ReplyDelete"Кеше түнде мен Делия туралы өте күшті түс көрдім. Бұл өте эротикалық болды. Түсімде оқиғалардың қалай басталғаны туралы біраз түсініксіз болды, бірақ мен оны жаңа ғана ұрып-соққанымнан анық есімде. Ешқандай ренжітпейтін ештеңе жоқ ... жай ғана қатты соққы. Сосын Делия шалқасынан жатып: «Бұл керемет Джин болды... бірақ қазір маған өте қажет. Маған Феллини әрекет етуде.
«Жарайды Делия, қолыңды тізе бер» деп бұйырдым.
Ол солай істеді, мен оны артқы стилінен отырғыздым. Біз білетіндей, Догги позициясы Делианың сүйікті орны. Ой! Кешіріңіз, мен ұмытып қалдым. Делияның сізге «қызмет көрсетпейтінін» білмейсіз. Ти! Хе! Хе! Хе! Чортл! Чортл! ГЕН»
THURSDAY JUNE 25th [part one]:
ReplyDeleteReaders may feel that they need a perspective about Gene Vincent. Here is an example of his idea of Christian Charity.
On his thread: "No assisted suicide. The notion of a right to a good death undermines society", he wrote this post at 2303 on August 2nd 2009, directly addressed to me:
"Let's return to this Swiss 'clinic' for a moment. Do you think Detterling that you would assist anyone to go there? I think I know you by now Detterling and the answer here is definitely no. Let me put a little scenario before you. You have oft talked on this forum about your gay nephew and the great affection you hold him in. Suppose this. Suppose that your gay nephew contracts AIDS/HIV - something entirely possible. And let's suppose that in his final suffering it is mooted taking him to Switzerland. Would you assist Detterling? Would you take him to die in this noisy, cluttered, crowded, unpeaceful, dingy flat surrounded by ghouls? No of course you wouldn't."
This kind of unprincipled, viciously nasty abuse is not only second nature to Gene Vincent, it is who he is. He was, rightly, demolished for posting that and offered an apology only when his grubby casuistry had been exposed for the shallow bullshit it was: as follows.
Whatever this thread may actually be about, its readers need a perspective about Gene Vincent. Here is an example of his idea of Christian Charity.
On his thread: No assisted suicide. The notion of a right to a good death undermines society, he wrote this post at 2303 on August 2nd 2009, directly addressed to me:
"Let's return to this Swiss 'clinic' for a moment. Do you think Detterling that you would assist anyone to go there? I think I know you by now Detterling and the answer here is definitely no. Let me put a little scenario before you. You have oft talked on this forum about your gay nephew and the great affection you hold him in. Suppose this. Suppose that your gay nephew contracts AIDS/HIV - something entirely possible. And let's suppose that in his final suffering it is mooted taking him to Switzerland. Would you assist Detterling? Would you take him to die in this noisy, cluttered, crowded, unpeaceful, dingy flat surrounded by ghouls? No of course you wouldn't."
To which I replied in part as follows:
Just when I think you have plumbed the depths of malice, ignorance and an entirely unique grubbiness of mind, Gene, you excel yourself. A nasty, malicious, ignorant little man like you has not the intelligence, understanding or insight to know another human being except in the most superficial way.
He even tried to defend this indefensible hypothetical question: "Suppose that your gay nephew contracts AIDS/HIV - something entirely possible".
Even for you, Gene, this is a disgraceful statement. As I have said before, there are times when you are simply filth, and this is one of them. WHY is it "entirely possible" that he should contract AIDS/HIV? How DARE you suggest that he might? What gives you the RIGHT to make outrageous, malicious and pig ignorant judgements of that kind? Why ARE you so disgusting as to state that a homosexual man whom you have never met leads the kind of lifestyle - promiscuous and so inconsiderate of himself and others that he has unprotected sex with anyone and everyone – which could expose him to the risk of AIDS? How DARE you make this kind of vicious slur on a loving, tolerant, kind and generous young man who has, after struggling with his sexuality - mainly because of pig ignorant bigots like you - for years, found a loving haven with a fine young man, and adopted a little boy whom they both adore. My nephew was never out on the gay scene, and he came to terms with his sexuality only after a long and very painful struggle. The mindless stereotyping in which you indulge without thought was part of his problem. He is worth 50 of you, you canting hypocrite.
THURSDAY JUNE 25th [part two]
DeleteAnd you wonder why I say that you are a terrible advertisement for Catholicism. You wrote this whole disgusting, malicious and disgraceful post. You read it through, and thought "yes, that is what I wanted to say: and that will corner Detterling". You did not scruple to use my love for my nephew as a weapon in an argument to score a cheap and malicious point.
You are a disgrace to the church to which you - and my wife, her brothers and her mother and her late father [requiescat] - belong.
But just for the record:
If someone I loved asked me to demonstrate that love by assisting them to die, and if I thought, after consideration and prayer, that I would be acting as an agent of the mercy of Christ in doing so, and if the only way it could be done was to enlist the services of Dignitas, then yes, I would take the person there and help them to die as they wished. If Dignitas were not an option then I would assist a suicide in the same spirit, just as my final act of filial love for my mother was to support her wish to die once her life had lost all of its quality, and support it by ensuring that she died without pain, without fear and in peace."
Readers of this thread may care to consider, in the light of the unprincipled and entirely nasty post Vincent made above, it is worth dignifying this, Gene’s latest thread, with their attention.
FRIDAY JUNE 26th 2026
ReplyDeleteGENE SHOWS HIMSELF TO BE A FOUL-MOUTHED, KNUCKLE-DRAGGING HOOLIGAN
"Tonight as always the Friday Night Club meets in the Good Yarn. I won't be there. Why not? I hear you ask. I have been banned from the Good Yarn. Yes, you read that correctly.
A little background. Last Friday was a day when I was feeling very low. I had some upsetting news. The two girls will not be with us for Christmas. No deliberate snub - just the way things have turned out. It will be just me, Paul, Marianne and Marianne's mother in Chez Vincent for Christmas.
Come last Friday night I was with the lads as usual in the Good Yarn. Morose and drinking only spirits. Bad mistake. My memory is a bit hazy about the events but Tony of the Big Saloon, who is a teetotaller, has perfect recall and has described to me what happened.
It seems that late in the evening I was introduced to a man who is a new teacher at Douay this term. I shook hands with him and he turned to a lady standing beside him and announced: "And this is my partner Willoughby."
"Partner eh?" I responded, "Fuck you, you big poofter. Why don't you have the guts to marry the woman. You fucking bottle-job."
He immediately punched me on the forehead. I punched him back and he toppled backwards and upset the drinks on a whole table. Meanwhile I stumbled forward and knocked over another table, drinks, customers and all.
I know, I know. Disgraceful. I have been barred from the Good Yarn and quite rightly. Why do I do it? I'm such a prat.
GENE
On his thread The fightback has begun, at 1100 on 27/12/13, Gene Vincent [Soren Kirkegaard] wrote as follows in connection with legal proceedings taken against Catholic priests for raping little girls and sodomising small boys:
ReplyDelete"Many of these prosecutions have been motivated not by compassion for victims - and certainly the victims need compassion - but by hatred, in particular by the Gay Lobby, of the Catholic Church."
Typically of Gene this is a statement as nonsensical as it is malicious.
At 1209 the same day on the same thread I wrote:
'Where is your evidence that a SINGLE prosecution of a priest for child abuse has been solely motivated by hatred of the Catholic church and supported by an organisation devoted to promoting equal rights for homosexuals - what you refer to as the "Gay Lobby"?'
Obviously Gene was at a loss to answer this, given that like most "facts" he adduces in his campaign against homosexuals, the original charge had been a complete invention. Nevertheless at 1233 the same day he produced the following piece of irrelevant bluster:
"I refer you to Messrs Dawkins, Fry, Goldacre, Hitchins, Robertson et al who tried to have Pope Benedict XVI arrested on his visit to Britain in 2010. A totally malicious act by the Gay Lobby. Thankfully they were all defeated and humiliated and swept aside by the tide of affection for the beloved Pope."
which, as I made clear in a reply shortly afterward, was nothing but a piece of irrelevant bluster reflecting the pompous and ineffectual grandstanding of a bunch of atheists stuck half way up their own backsides.
After a pause for reflection, Gene, realising that he had made a complete fool of himself in making the original post, tried some more bluster - at 1904, by which time he had obviously been at the metal polish:
"How on earth could such evidence be produced? In supporting such prosecutions the Gay Lobby does not come out publicly and announce 'Our subtext here is bashing the Catholic Church'. But the Catholic Church is hated with a vengence by the PC/Gay Lobby brigade. Just witness the bile towards the Church from our pinko liberal Gay Lobby fellow travellers on this forum. Witness how one TESSER will go to the ends of the earth to find evidence of one Catholic priest with an unpaid parking ticket."
This post in effect admitted that Gene had told a malicious lie and knew it, but was typically too big a coward to admit it.
Accordingly, over the past three days I have asked Gene 29 times either to substantiate his lie or to withdraw it, and apologise for having told it - having, in effect, charged gay Tessers with malicious prosecution I felt it would do everyone good if he said sorry.
Gene has not replied - or, rather he has - along with his unlovely colleagues Treefayre and Sir Henry Rawlinson of Bellend. As on a previous occasion when Gene was trapped in a lie, they have done so by posting stills from Carry On films for some reason. Gene has, after a friend request sent to me when he first re-appeared [a dazzling piece of hypocrisy which made me feel quite sick] also sent me several personal messages consisting, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom, of the words Oooooh Matron! No doubt this thread will soon be adorned by similar shallow and trivial nonsense.
Given that I have asked Gene the same question 29 times now without an answer it is evident that he cannot give one, that he knows he was wrong to make the original allegation, and is too much of a poltroon to admit it.
Equally, if I go on asking the same question much longer he will undoubtedly run weaselling to the Moderators alleging that I am stalking him - he has a record of this kind of squealing in the past.
I shall, therefore, let the matter drop - but not before drawing attention, yet again, to his dishonesty, cowardice and malice.
“GRANNY BARKES FELL IN WOOLWORTHS” - NONSENSE ON STILTS
ReplyDeleteMr Gene Vincent, an author new to this reviewer, comes glowingly recommended – not least by himself. The cover of “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” says that Mr Vincent’s writing has “drawn comparison with James Joyce, Evelyn Waugh and Ernest Hemingway”. This impressive claim is somewhat vitiated however by its provenance. A reader of Mr Vincent’s blog [Gene – a voice in the wilderness] challenged him to produce evidence that such comparisons had been drawn, to which Mr Vincent made the following reply: “I also distributed various works in progress among my friends. From those who read my work came comparisons with the writing of James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway and Evelyn Waugh.”
Mr Vincent’s friends are, perhaps, more to be commended for their tact and kindness than their critical acumen? On the other hand, if Mr Vincent’s writings have drawn comparison with Joyce, Waugh and Hemingway, who is to say, lacking any evidence, that such comparison was favourable? After all, my viola professor at university once compared my playing to that of the incomparable Lionel Tertis: “Bandall”, he said, “your playing, compared to Lionel Tertis’s, stinks”.
More of a puzzle, however, is which writings of Mr Vincent’s have been thus referenced. He claims to have published two novels – “The Man who heard Jenny Lind sing” and “Heartbreak at Hillingdon High”, as well as a devotional, “The Psalms”. None of these works appear in any catalogues, nor are they listed at The British Library. On this showing, it seems as if Mr Vincent’s claims to previous publication are false. One wonders at the mental capacity of a man telling lies of such blatancy as to be disproved by ten minutes' internet research. However.
This has not prevented him from making strikingly ambitious claims for the present work. “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” is, says Mr Vincent, a ground-breaking, trail-blazing novel, a work of art in an entirely new format. He bemoans the fact that critics such as F R Leavis, Clive James, Bernard Levin are no longer alive to review his work – for only they, it seems, would have possessed the critical acumen and insight necessary to appreciate his work. His critic of choice to evaluate “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” is in fact the doyen of modern literary critics, Professor Christopher Ricks – again, only Professor Ricks’s towering intellect could match Mr Vincent’s. For this reason it is surprising that Mr Vincent has not sent a copy to Professor Ricks who, although now in his tenth decade, still lives and flourishes in Boston, Mass
.
All of which meant that, when I opened the Amazon package containing my copy of “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths”, it was with a lively anticipation of a literary feast, an experience to match that of Keats with Chapman’s Homer, of being dazzled by the white-heat of a towering genius newly ablaze in the literary firmament – “Then felt I like some watcher of the skies/When a new planet swims into his ken;”.
And then I opened the book.
[to be continued]
©Gary Bandall
STRAPLINE: A SIMPLE MINDED INSULT TO THE INTELLIGENCE
ReplyDeleteThe front matter to this book by Gene Vincent says that his writing has "drawn comparison with James Joyce, Evelyn Waugh and Ernest Hemingway", although leaving open the question the literary qualifications of those who drew the comparison, let alone whether or not the comparison was favourable. Nor does an exhaustive internet search find any previously published work by Mr Vincent, apart from a blog "Gene, a voice in the wilderness".
Well over 90% of the content this blog is stolen - as often as not without acknowledgement - from a variety of publications, most of them dealing with the affairs of the Roman Catholic Church. In these, as well as in original content, Mr Vincent espouses a pathologically malevolent attitude to homosexuality. often focussed on the practice of anal sexual intercourse, about which he seems obsessed. More than that, Mr Vincent exhibits more or less textbook symptoms of a narcissistic personality disorder - for example having published forged emails purporting to be from the late Clive James, from Dr Richard Dawkins - who, astoundingly, Mr Vincent claims to have converted to Roman Catholicism. His own writing style is laboured, hackneyed, obvious and dull.
Mr Vincent retired from teaching in December 2016, and has spent the last seven years, by his own account, as a full-time professional writer; "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is the product of Mr Vincent's labours - nothing else he has written in that time [if he has in fact written anything at all] has seen print.
"Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" consists of 114 pages, over 70 of which are occupied by black and white photographs, many of them uncaptioned. The written text is approximately 7,000 words long, and consists of a verbal collage assembled from verses of scripture, snatches of folksong, proverbs, quotations from poems, novels, plays and popular song. The streams of consciousness so dazzlingly used by Samuel Beckett in Godot, where meaning teeters in and out of focus, fascinate far more than they baffle. Mr Vincent's hommage to the cut-up techniques of such deservedly forgotten writers as Gysin, Tzara, Burroughs, Burns, Beiles, Gorski and Acker is turgid, tedious and meaningless, an offensively simple minded insult to the readers' intelligence.
"Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths "is, according to Mr Vincent, when combined with his collaborator Johnny Bluenote [in fact one of Mr Vincent's online pseudonyms] a work of art so innovative that it should only be reviewed by critics of the eminence of Christopher Ricks, and the late Bernard Levin. As it is, Mr Vincent claims that his book has been favourably reviewed in the Huffington Post, and has also received favourable notice from the critic A N Wilson, although I have been unable to trace those reviews.
"Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" is a dreadfully bad book, the sort of book in which no publisher in his right senses would invest money. This is presumably why Mr Vincent has had to resort to Amazon's KPD publishing system. At the same time, the "Rattlesnake Press" of Gilman Drive, La Jolla, California, is credited with having printed and published this book, which makes it all the more baffling that no such press, and no such publishing company seems to exist.
I would not assail such a simple-minded and trivial book as this so aggressively were it not for the fact that Mr Vincent threatened to attack my wife and son on his blog - "it will be open season on Delia and open season on Sebastian" - were I to review this literary sewage in any but the most glowing terms. Mr Vincent often, and ringingly, proclaims his commitment to free speech; it is, perhaps, some measure of the kind of person he really is, that he threatens reprisals on those who use their right to tell him that he can’t write and that, even judged as rubbish, “Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths” is rubbish.
As always, when Gene gets what he deserves - in this case a boot in the literary balls, he whinges:
ReplyDelete"It is not a genuine book review but an ad hominem attack on Gene".
That is nonsense.
In the first paragraph, Gene's claim to literary eminence on a par to three acknowledged masters of the craft is examined, explored, and comprehensively dismantled, and the character of his published writing - this dreadful blog - surveyed and assessed, along with some examples of the kind of fraudulent nonsense he publishes about his contacts with other literary masters. This is a legitimate and evidenced exploration of your antecedents as a writer. The fact that they turn out to consist of lies, fraudulent claims to literary connections and plagiarism may be a problem for Gene, but it is also a fact.
Paragraph two gives some necessary background to the writing of "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" including the salient detail that it took eight years for Gene to write.
Paragraph three describes the book's structure and, as a conscientious review should, references its stylistic antecedents among writers for the most part justly forgotten for having followed a literary dead end. The summary of the book's written content is fair, and my view that it is pretentious, meaningless nonsense a valid opinion which you are at liberty to gainsay and prove wrong.
Paragraph four examines Gene's claim that the book is innovative [it isn't] and also the solipsism of his view that only critics of the calibre of Ricks and Levin are fit to review it. Likewise your claim to having been reviewed in the Huffington Post is questioned. As for Mr A N Wilson, I have emailed him c/o The Spectator to ask where he reviewed "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths", giving him the address of this blog where he can see your claim for himself made yesterday in the "Harris and Hoole" feature. Should you wish to, you can refute my doubts about whether you have been reviewed at all by publishing both the Huffington Post's and Mr Wilson's reviews on this blog.
Paragraph five addresses the mystery of the book's publication, in particular why Gene claims it to have been published by a non-existent printer and publisher when in fact it is a vanity publication using the Amazon KPD facility.
And paragraph six seeks to make clear why, given that I think "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths" to be a completely worthless book of zero literary and artistic merit, I have written a review 650 words long when 8 would have done - "even judged as crap, this book is crap". This is because I felt that Gene's malicious threat of mounting personal attacks on my wife and son should I write an unfavourable review deserved a wider airing, offering as does a telling sidelight on your character. There have been complete shits who were great writers - Evelyn Waugh, Ernest Hemingway, Charles Dickens and Roald Dahl are only the first four to come to mind - but your fate is a great deal worse: you are a complete shit who can't write - an objective opinion evidenced and substantiated by your own words and actions, not, as you alleged - and typically ungrammatically - an ad hominem attack on you.
I was looking for something else and found this - a critique of the opening paragraph of one of your "novels". It was, of course, bollocks even when judged as bollocks, but I don't think I have seen your appalling writing style better critiqued than it is here.
ReplyDelete'It's slow Saturday in mid-December’.
Slow as opposed to what? What does a fast Saturday, or a medium paced Saturday feel like? Meaningless and pretentious use of an adjective, a tiresome trick that was old hat when Dylan Thomas pinched it.
'Eugene O’Nanist looks out through the darkening conservatory and snow clouds blanket Hillingdon.'
Why and? It sounds as if the snow clouds blanketing Hillingdon are doing so because Eugene is looking out through the darkening conservatory and I can’t see a reason why this should be so. The two halves of this sentence don’t belong together.
'Snow falling like petals from the whitethorns of spring; snow drifting in oblique sheets over the Grand Union Canal at Uxbridge where sometimes on early summer morning jogs O’Nanist used to see the former boxer and now painter, the late Kevin Finnegan, at work at his easel.'
If Kevin Finnegan is dead, how come he is now a painter? Sloppy syntax here – can a writer balance an adjective with an adverb? And Kevin Finnegan seems to be dumped into the narrative so the writer can show off – if the contrast between a snowy winter’s day and a summer morning is to pull its weight it should make a point. This doesn’t seem to.
'Snow. Everywhere. Snowing in finely granulated powder, in damp spongy flakes, in thin, feathery plumes, snowing from a leaden sky steadily, snowing fiercely, shaken out of grey-black clouds in white flocculent dustings, or dropping in long low lines, like white spears gliding down from the silent heavens.'
This seems to be an attempt at some kind of lyrical description but it comes across as the sort of thing that would happen if Jeffrey Archer tried to imitate Iris Murdoch. The whole paragraph uses eight ways to say that it is snowing, but does nothing with this diarrhoea of repetition except, well, repeat.
'But always silently!'
Well of course: whoever heard of noisy snow for crying out loud? And what’s the exclamation mark for? Are we supposed to be surprised that the snow fell, as it always does, silently?
Gene Vincent, the Arseholes' Arsehole.
Reply
Detterling writes:
ReplyDeleteI was looking for something else and found this - a critique of the opening paragraph of one of your "novels". It was, of course, bollocks even when judged as bollocks, but I don't think I have seen your appalling writing style better critiqued than it is here.
'It's slow Saturday in mid-December’.
Slow as opposed to what? What does a fast Saturday, or a medium paced Saturday feel like? Meaningless and pretentious use of an adjective, a tiresome trick that was old hat when Dylan Thomas pinched it.
'Eugene O’Nanist looks out through the darkening conservatory and snow clouds blanket Hillingdon.'
Why and? It sounds as if the snow clouds blanketing Hillingdon are doing so because Eugene is looking out through the darkening conservatory and I can’t see a reason why this should be so. The two halves of this sentence don’t belong together.
'Snow falling like petals from the whitethorns of spring; snow drifting in oblique sheets over the Grand Union Canal at Uxbridge where sometimes on early summer morning jogs O’Nanist used to see the former boxer and now painter, the late Kevin Finnegan, at work at his easel.'
If Kevin Finnegan is dead, how come he is now a painter? Sloppy syntax here – can a writer balance an adjective with an adverb? And Kevin Finnegan seems to be dumped into the narrative so the writer can show off – if the contrast between a snowy winter’s day and a summer morning is to pull its weight it should make a point. This doesn’t seem to.
'Snow. Everywhere. Snowing in finely granulated powder, in damp spongy flakes, in thin, feathery plumes, snowing from a leaden sky steadily, snowing fiercely, shaken out of grey-black clouds in white flocculent dustings, or dropping in long low lines, like white spears gliding down from the silent heavens.'
This seems to be an attempt at some kind of lyrical description but it comes across as the sort of thing that would happen if Jeffrey Archer tried to imitate Iris Murdoch. The whole paragraph uses eight ways to say that it is snowing, but does nothing with this diarrhoea of repetition except, well, repeat.
'But always silently!'
Well of course: whoever heard of noisy snow for crying out loud? And what’s the exclamation mark for? Are we supposed to be surprised that the snow fell, as it always does, silently?
Gene Vincent, the Arseholes' Arsehole, the Adrian Mole of Uxbridge
Reply
And what about this? A total masterpiece of nonsense, a monument of literary horseshit, an outstandingly comic example of why Gene is such a bad writer - he actually once defended this rubbish - extracted from the ballsachingly tedious wankfest Gene Vincent - close up on a phenomenon - as "good writing"....
ReplyDelete"Just then the front doorbell goes. Marianne gets up and goes out of the kitchen to attend to this. There can be heard animated conversation in the hallway and Marianne re-enters the kitchen with a young policeman in full uniform.
MARIANNE: Well this is a welcome surprise. Libby can I introduce to you Clint Tebbit who has just graduated from Hendon Police College and is out on the beat on his first week of duty. He is one of Gene's former pupils.
PC TEBBIT: Nice to meet you Ma'am. Yes, Gene ... er Mr Vincent was my form tutor and I was one of his Law 'A' Level students. He asked me to drop by.
MARIANNE: Well, Gene should be back shortly. Would you like to join us in a coffee Clint?
PC TEBBIT: Thanks Ma'am but not while I'm on duty. Just like to say while I'm here what an inspiring teacher Mr Vincent was for all of us. His PHSE lessons and his Sixth Form assemblies were something else. But for him I could easily have gone down the pinko liberal route. I remember a talk he gave us at 'A' Level about the film Dirty Harry. It changed my life. Inspector 'Dirty Harry' Callaghan has become my hero ... "I don't ask questions. I shoot the bastard."
MARIANNE: Well, Gene would just love to hear that! Let's hope you don't have to shoot anyone in Uxbridge ... You went to Bristol University didn't you Clint.
PC TEBBIT: Yes Ma'am. I read Law. I hope to be fast-tracked with the Met.
MARIANNE: Oh! I'm sure you will Clint.
PC TEBBIT: I can't stay I'm afraid. Duty calls. But I'd just like you to let Mr Vincent know that yesterday I had to deal with some trouble down at the bus station in Uxbridge. A gang of yobs were causing intimidation to the public. I picked out the ringleader and went up to him and said, "Feel lucky do ya? Come on punk. Make my day." The yobs melted away.
LIBBY: This is wonderful to hear Clint. Actually I'm here to interview Gene about his writing, but to hear of his influence as a teacher is such a bonus.
PC TEBBIT: Mr Vincent is a marvel as a teacher Ma'am. Truly inspiring. I remember in his PHSE lessons he didn't mince (no pun intended) his words. For example he laid it on the line about homosexuality. No way Jose he used to say. It is a sin. It is grave moral depravity. There was no equivocation from Mr Vincent. We had a lesbian teacher in the Geography department who tried to make life difficult for Mr Vincent because of his outspoken comments on the Gay Lobby. Reported him here there and everywhere trying to have him disciplined. But we all rallied round him.
LIBBY: Wonderful Clint. Can I ask you - you are not related in any way to Lord Tebbit?
PC TEBBIT: Everyone asks me that Ma'am. I'd like to say yes, but the truth is no. I admire Lord Tebbit. I read his column in the Daily Telegraph. And that's something else - I and my friends are Telegraph readers because of Mr Vincent. My favourite columnist is Damian Thompson. What a writer! What a political analyst!
And here it is, folks, the moment you have all been waiting for!! Here is chapter one of Gene Vincent's latest novel, "The Man who thought he heard Victoria Beckham Fart - a mood statement in Nude Glow Non-Drip".
ReplyDelete"Genie Winceyette was PAFO in Wetherspoons - he'll get a writeup in the Westminster Record, said the osprey, while the pub beat time like a pulsing toe-rag. This ae neet sang the young tradition in the luckwick lickwack lockwake purge wearing a bobble hat and a fraggle rock. There was mickle melody at that childes' dearth him they compelled with the raggy end of a pineapple. Pie nap'll rub off on the uvula like a vuvuzuela in a uterine frenzy. Friends? he had twelve to start with but they all ran away leaving him like a blogger in a school staffroom. We may come in twilit hall-front stale wellington boot spelling where we may touch and go why we grow in a petty pottery petri dish from atoms and what ifs and butts the billy goat with a ram up the duff. Aha said Marianne and Big Tony, we’re preternaturally and surely destined to be odds even without ends if this bit of seaweed is telling the truth. Because the sea weed and the ship showed its bottom hop off cherry blossom....give me five, give me a foafafifeafever few would have thought it was possible to write so badly unless they were trying to. It's all very well writing onomatopoeia queer like abambemabimmerbomberbum and parsing the parson's prepuce like a herman gelmet viz and too witty for my taste if that's his face then what must his balls look like a look alike for twopence where she made a good deal but sixpence a feel was a failure. Even judged as garbage this is garbage but Gene daren't write it off because buried in the rubbish are some golden moments from finagling's wake up at the back there....and he is by his own tall tale telling an expert, ex-pert nipples now sadly inverted on anything re Joice so like that chercow said reJoyce reJoyce reJoyce. Bet he can't untangle this canned conumdrum bumdrum though he'll be too busy taking a fence back to the guardian centre. Theres no telling note healing though: grow every new epyphysis vigorously in negative connotation, ear nose throat introspects sophistry always pullulating readily, each twicer exfoliates new territory. Ian Ogilvy understudied Shakespeare, could understrap Neil Tennant. And so say all of us.
Catchline: Gene Vincent
ReplyDeleteCopy for The Westminster Record - News Template
Addressee: communications@rcdow.org.uk
Your name:
Your email address:
Headline: ABUSE: THE CHURCH’S NEXT TASK?
The news story: A blogger styling himself Gene Vincent has conducted an abusive two year internet campaign in a blog “Gene Vincent, a voice in the wilderness”. This campaign was against a former poster – internet name Detterling - on the Times Educational Supplement “Opinion” website. These personal attacks have included
[a] a claim that Gene had an adulterous affair with Detterling’s wife which resulted in his fathering Detterling’s son – now aged seven years;
[b] allegations that Detterling’s nephew – who is gay – is a promiscuous and predatory homosexual destined to die of AIDS;
[c] accusations that Detterling has feigned mental illness in order to claim sickness benefit fraudulently;
More than that, “Gene Vincent” mounted a nasty personal attack on [eg] Tony Nicholson following the failure of Mr Nicholson’s family to have his wish to commit suicide supported in case law.
In addition, “Gene Vincent” has consistently sneered at the homosexual community on his blog – calling them shirtlifters, poofs, gingers, queers, limp wristed nancy boys and similar.
That he is also has a juvenile and dirty mind is proved by his boast that his penis is 8.5 inches long, which is why he calls it Fellini.
None of which would matter were not Gene Vincent a senior teacher – according to him Head [or Acting Head] of Sixth Form in a Catholic High School in West London – Uxbridge or Hillingdon, for example.
According to the descriptions of himself volunteered on his blog
1. he was born in 1957
2. went to the Cardinal Vaughan School in Holland Park
3. studied PPE at St John’s, Oxford from 1975 – 1978
4. did a PGCE at St Mary’s College, Twickenham
5. has been married twice, the first marriage having been annulled
6. has been married to “Marianne” for over thirty years
7. lives in Uxbridge and frequents "The Good Yarn" with a group of his friends each Friday night
8. is bald, bespectacled and wears a goatee beard
9. is currently working as a teacher of law and Acting or substantive] Head of Sixth Form at his school
10. has twice been the subject of professional sanctions at his school
11. the first being for abuse of the school’s IT facilities, using them to write his blog during directed time
12 and the second arising from a complaint made by a colleague following “Gene Vincent’s” face to face scoffing and sneering at her in the school staffroom when the motion to create women bishops in the Church of England was defeated in the General Synod
It appears in that last connection that Gene is so disliked and despised in the staffroom that the two teacher governors refused to support him, and further that he escaped professional sanctions only by denying that he was Gene Vincent. That he published these unpleasant sneers on his blog under the name of Gene Vincent, and boasted of the way in which he had abused his colleague is a matter of record. His denial of this at the Governors’ hearing makes him a liar as well as a coward.
Story Developments:
[1] Can the church, in the wake of the sexual abuse scandals, afford to have men like “Gene Vincent” in influential positions in Catholic High Schools?
[2] Are dirty minded and malicious men like “Gene Vincent” the kind of teachers Catholic parents want to influence their children?
[3] Will the Roman Catholic church, in its British headquarters in Westminster, ignore the existence of this toxic individual in one of their local schools, and allow him to exercise his malign influence unchecked?
Sir Henry and Lady Henrietta Rawlinson,
Bellend Manor
Torquay
REASONS WHY GENE VINCENT IS SUCH A BLOODY AWFUL WRITER [1]
ReplyDeleteIs there a more threadbare, tired, ponderous, irritating habit of twelfth-rate writers like Gene than posing a rhetorical question twice - the second time as a false alternative - as a way of failing to emphasise a point not worth making in the first place and labouring it instead?
Or is there a more threadbare, tired, ponderous, irritating habit of twelfth-rate writers like Gene than posing a rhetorical question twice - the second time as a false alternative - as a way of failing to emphasise a point not worth making in the first place and labouring it instead?
More to follow on July 8th!
ReplyDeleteI thought that readers of this blog [both of them] might enjoy this extract from a work in progress. The anti hero of this story, one Vene Jincent, has taken advantage of being in the same Catenian Circle as his head teacher once too often, it seems…………..
ReplyDelete'Vene left the head teacher’s office at a stumble, the warm urine trickling down his leg. The man’s words beat in his head like a roll of drums fading in and out of consciousness, the headline words insinuating themselves to the surface of Vene’s mind like a bloated, three days’ drowned corpse rolling obscenely to the surface of a stagnant, dankly-scummed pond.
“…………campaign of lies, malicious sneering and character assassination….for TWO YEARS for God’s sake…...why did you claim you went to the pub in the first place?.......and that’s only the beginning it seems……….scoffing at the mentally ill at the same time as you claimed to be a volunteer hospital porter…….and what was all this about gay men not being fit to adopt because they were all paedophiles? Dear God, I don’t know which is worse, the ignorance or the nastiness……..it gets worse too it seems – just because someone is homosexual they have, according to you, to be promiscuous, sexually predatory, careless of their health and others’, and bound to end up dead of AIDS………I don’t mind you being malicious and ignorant and nasty – that’s in your psychological profile and there’s nothing to be done about that, but…..how is it that a man who only manages to find his own buttocks with both hands on a clear day three times out of ten has forgotten nothing and learned nothing?”
“AND YOU PUBLISH ALL THIS GARBAGE ON A WEBSITE FOR TEACHERS?”
Vene felt his bowels move, and knew that he had ten seconds to find a toilet. The pressure built, funnelled and boiled over as his sphincter gave up the unequal task of coping with a physiology like his, so overwhelmingly full of excrement, and he felt himself spectacularly befouled. He tried, futilely, to stop his buttocks and legs from touching his trousers, pebble-dashed as they were with the diarrhea of panic, slumping to the floor as the head-teacher’s parting words rang in his ears.
“And then this latest fiasco: you pretend to be a novelist, say that only people who have published books are allowed to criticise you, and call another poster who has three books in print a liar, twice? A year ago you called the same poster a liar for the same reason and he made you apologise. And this time you hope to get away with bluster and getting on your high horse? And when that doesn’t work you run squealing to the moderators so you can have him banned?”
Vene, for the first time in many years, felt a stir of compunction. Had he really sunk so low? Low enough, it seems, for his headmaster to pronounce the final verdict.
“You’re the worst assistant caretaker we’ve ever had: it’s not the pretentious guff you spout, or the ridiculous claim to have two PhDs, or even the bogus religiosity, though God knows all of those are bad enough. No: in the end it’s the simple fact that you are a fake – there’s nothing genuine about you, even your fantasies are bogus. Get your cards and get off the premises, any time in the next ten minutes.”
Vene began to beg, kissing his head-teacher’s boots, groping for his buttocks that he might kiss them, but the man was pitiless. He felt himself lifted by strong hands, swung briefly to and fro, and then thrown in a foully-scented arc onto the compost heap in the school garden, a faecal missile homing in on a target succulent with rot.
His head struck a stone as he landed in the mire, and his mind reeled. Just before he fainted, he remembered a sentence written in a post to him on several of the myriad occasions when he had undergone a drubbing, an humiliation and had been blown out of the water on the Opinion forum.
“……..the day you made an enemy of me was the worst day’s work you ever did……” '
It is, I suppose, only to be expected that the revival of the assisted dying issue should have caused argument to erupt in the blogosphere.
ReplyDeleteThis is notably the case with a blog Gene…a voice in the wilderness whose author Gene Vincent [obviously a pseudonym] has in the past campaigned on his blog against the adoption of children by homosexual couples as well as same-sex marriage. Until recent months he has also conducted an unpleasant personal campaign against a regular correspondent styling himself Detterling – the name of a louche character in the late Simon Raven’s Alms for Oblivion series. Detterling, like Gene Vincent, professes a Christian belief, in his case Anglican, but is inclined to be inclusive and charitable towards homosexuals in the church, often citing in support of his views Galatians 3:28.
The passing of the Second Reading of Kim Leadbeater’s Assisted Dying Bill predictably infuriated Mr Vincent, although, surprisingly, his fury was not directed at Ms Leadbeater, but rather at both Dettlerling and his church. Thus, on 28th November last we find this headlined broadside on the blog:
“Tomorrow in the House of Commons the most significant debate on a proposed bill in any of our lifetimes will take place. Come on Detterling. Get off the fence. Oppose this bill…Remember your deafening silence on the Paedophile Information Exchange? Remember C of E deafening silence on the P. I. E.? The Catholic Church has been campaigning strongly and incessantly against this proposed bill. Please remind me what the Church of England stance is? Oops! Sorry. I forgot. The Church of England is fucked .”
The Paedophile Information Exchange reference links back to a bitter dispute between Mr Vincent and Mr Detterling that took place in the spring of 2023. During this tohu-bohu Mr Vincent did his best to imply that Mr Detterling’s left-wing views meant that the Paedophile Information Exchange – and by extension the practice of paedophilia itself – was something which Mr Detterling had supported and still did. The only evidence Mr Vincent produced for this extraordinary accusation was that Mr Detterling had never gone on record as condemning either the Paedophile Information Exchange or the practice of paedophilia. This is a piece of casuistry which, some may feel, casts a degree of doubt on Vincent’s claim to have taken a 2:1 in PPE at St John’s College, Oxford in 1978.
Mr Vincent’s challenge was reinforced by one Mary Winterbourne, the pseudonym of one of a large group of sock-puppets operated by Vincent who regularly contribute to the blog, to make it appear as though the blog is read and appreciated widely – it isn’t. Mr Vincent having issued his challenge at lunchtime, Mary Winterbourne endorsed it in the evening as follows:
“Get off the fence, Detterling, you bastard.”
In the event, Mr Detterling replied, you may feel rather more civilly than either of these challenges deserved, as follows:
“My member of Parliament, Sir Alan Campbell, MA, PC, has declared his intention to vote for Ms Leadbetter's bill. I support his decision wholeheartedly and, at a recent meeting over a drink with him, made it clear that I think that this change in the law – which over 85% of the populace, and over 80% of Christian believers support – will be a positive development.”
At no point in the subsequent exchanges do either Mr Vincent or his drawerful of unlovely sock-puppets acknowledge what Mr Detterling said in this post, nor the points he made to a further blog entry on November 30th:
“…the fact remains that Roman Catholics – who form 8.3% of the population of the UK – cannot reasonably expect the laws of the land to reflect their beliefs, any more than can the 46.2% of the population who profess Christian beliefs…75% of the population support the change in the law laid out in Kim Leadbeater’s Bill [as do] 70% of practising Christians.”
[CONTINUED]
PART TWO:
ReplyDeleteSo far from engaging with any of this, on November 30th Mr Vincent insulted Mr Detterling by calling him “an aging tosser”, following which two of his sock-puppets, Swashbuckling Mulligan and Tony of the Big Saloon, weighed in as follows:
“So this pathetic excuse for a man, Detterling, supports abortion, defends the vile sin of sodomy and supports assisted suicide? How does the aging tosser have the gall to call himself a Christian?”
to which Tony of the Big Saloon added the following insult:
“Ah! but he isn't Christian, Swashbuckling. He's Church of England.”
Not that it needs saying, but Detterling has made his position on both abortion and homosexual sexual practices clear on dozens of occasions on Gene Vincent’s blog. He regards both as personal choices concerning only the individuals involved, and insofar as what occurs is legal [and in the case of homosexual sexual intercourse] consensual, he prefers to mind his own business and would prefer everyone else to mind theirs.
And there the matter rests and, so far as Mr Detterling is concerned, can rest there for good. It is probably best left to your readers to decide what kind of advertisement for Roman Catholicism is Gene Vincent – a man who knows his own mind to a fraction and cannot begin to entertain the notion that he may be mistaken. And if your readers also form the impression that his Christianity from time to time bears an uncomfortable resemblance to bigotry, then they may be on to something. Certainly, Mr Vincent has, from time to time, posted material about Mr Detterling which, if uttered in a public print over Mr Vincent’s real name, would lead to a libel suit. See, for example, a blog entry from Tuesday, November 26th 2024 in which Mr Detterling, among others, is accused of hounding a fellow poster on the Times Educational Supplement Opinion Forum to suicide.
“The Clique activities were led by pinko liberal par excellence Obergruppenführer Detterling. He was aided and abetted by a dreadful woman from Glasgow's Gorbals named Serendipity, by an pathetic mummy's boy named Bigkid and by a host of fellow travellers with codenames such as Lilyofthefield, Inky, Jacob, Scintillant, et al. Detterling directed operations and the group communicated through landlines, faxes, mobile phones, telexes, texts and the personal messaging facility of the website. Anyone who looked as if they might be dissident to The Clique's agenda was targeted, harassed, bullied and hounded. At times things looked grim. Possibly the lowest point was when a gentleman from West Sussex posted that his wife, Myrtle Thornberry, had committed suicide after being harassed and bullied for months by The Clique.”
The fact that this claim is self-evidently preposterous, let alone completely unevidenced, cannot excuse the deliberate malice and thorough nastiness involved in the uttering of such an accusation. And it does lead one to wonder just how much of what Mr Vincent posts on Gene…a voice in the wilderness is in fact the product of a borderline personality that has, long since, begun to curdle into a pathology. In the meantime, your readers may care to consider what kind of an advertisement for the redemptive love of Christ as personified in the Roman Catholic Church is a man like Mr Vincent. As it happens, Mr Detterling is married to a devout Roman Catholic, and his son was baptised and confirmed as a Catholic and has had a Catholic education. At the same time, you have to wonder what goes on in the mind of a similarly devout Roman Catholic, Mr Gene Vincent, to lead him to post leering, grubby, semi-literate pornography about Mr Detterling’s wife.
And a blast from the past...
ReplyDeleteGene has often boasted about how he dominated the TES Opinion Forum as the fearless champion of bullshit, bluster and talking piss, how he "routed" the [non-existent] "clique" with his erudition and ruthlessly honed debating skills.
The truth was a great deal different. He was regularly humiliated and shown up as a pig-ignorant, lying bigot whose only weapons were personal insult and selections from the scripts of various "Carry On" films. And, as this excerpt from TES Opinion shows, he was also a coward, running squealing to the forum moderators every time someone ruffled his hair.
"Q: Is Gene Vincent a spineless bellend, so terrified of the repeated humiliations dealt out to him by Detterling on this truly appalling blog and on TES Opinion, that he runs, squealing like the limp-wristed nancy-boy cry-baby that he is, to TES moderators whenever he has the chance to shop Detterling?
A: Yes, he is. Detterling having run a new identity [under his own real name as he always does, unlike Gene, who, true to his cowardice, uses a new alias every time] for long enough to have his posts accepted straight on to the forum without pre-moderation, was unwise enough to post on to one of Gene's threads. Gene, promptly, and entirely typically ran for cover under the skirts of the moderators and shopped "Crossbencher". What a nasty little turd Gene is.
Still, I am glad to see that Gabriel Flash Elorde is still posting: the more hysterical rubbish he posts against gay marriage the stronger the support for it grows.
People read his bigoted piffle and ask themselves "Do I want to ally myself with an arsehole like Gene"?
Let me answer that question.
No, they most certainly do not.
Incidentally, why does Gene always choose sexually ambiguous ephebes as his avatars?
Is he turning paederast in his old age?
I think we should be told."
That was in 2014 or thereabouts; and nothing has changed. Gene is still the same nasty, bigoted, pig-ignorant bully, priding himself on his commitment to free speech and "searing honesty" - and censoring any posts to this pathetic blog that show him up for the treacherous bastard he is.
Enjoy TES while it lasts, Gene, you petty minded little sod.
Sexual assault is, rightly, a crime; and it is a crime that Gene Vincent has not only repeatedly committed, but a crime of which he boasts, a crime that he justifies and minimises, licking his own arse in a uniquely sickening way.
ReplyDeleteBut you don't have to take my word for it: here is Gene's own boastful confession to his grubby frottage.
"GENE ... a voice in the wilderness
THURSDAY AUGUST 10th 2021
'New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has resigned after an inquiry found that he sexually harassed multiple women, prompting efforts to remove him.'
Oh for God's sake! When is this sort of thing going to stop? Even if it turns out to be true his alleged misdemeanours are hardly crimes of the century are they? He was just being a man.
I'm sure I have done worse myself. I have always been a bit tactile with the ladies. For example, in my teaching days if a new attractive member of staff joined us I would find a way to engage at a low level of sexual activity. My favourite ploy was to smoothie up on the way out of assembly or staff meeting and pat the young cutie on the backside in apparent avuncular fashion saying something like, "Settling in okay Sweetie?"
Another ploy was to hug the young cutie to purportedly congratulate her on her, say, classroom wall display. Believe me no red-blooded middle-aged man gives a young gorgeous bit of stuff a hug with anything but lust his motivation.
I have never had a complaint.
Posted by GENE VINCENT at 13:04
Pass the sick bag.
If you need a key to Gene's unique nastiness, there it is in black and white: the only question is where to insert it.
Up his arse for choice,
GENE’S LITERARY COMEUPPANCE
ReplyDeletePART ONE
Gene’s literary career, strewn with terrible first chapters of equally terrible novels that never progressed any further, once produced a literary abortion purporting to be about the Detterling family, in which the big reveal was to be that he had fathered my beloved son on my wife. This pitiful damp squib was heralded by Gene has a “devastating twist in the tale” – a twist so obvious that I promptly pissed on it by giving the game away. All the same, I saw the opportunity to show Gene’s public [what there is of one] just what decent writing looked like, and took up the tale on his behalf. Now read on.
‘ “In the back of the police car, Sebastian turned to his father.
"You don't seem worried by any of this, Dad?"
"I'm not, son: even judged as crap it's crap. Vincent has invented the whole thing - I've challenged him dozens of times to produce the passage I'm supposed to have stolen from Dawkins, and he can't, because I didn't. He's just eaten up with envy, simple as that."
"Envy?"
"Yes, because I've been lucky enough to get some of my writing published and he hasn't, and he won't, because he can't write for toffee. For heaven's sake, they're only textbooks I've written, apart from the newspaper columns and the magazine articles, but the way Gene goes on you'd think I claimed to be George Orwell or someone. I'm not - I'm a competent journeyman who happened to be in the right place at the right time."
"What's a journeyman, Dad?"
"Someone who has served an apprenticeship and passed out as competent, but who isn't good enough to be a Master of his craft. That's the problem - Vincent thinks he is a master writer, but he can't write for toffee, he's never published anything and he never will. And he'll never forgive me for publishing even the stuff I have - that's what this is all about, really. That and the nasty, dirty little stories he's made up about your mother."
"What's he said about Mum?"
"Sorry about this, son, but I'd rather you heard it from me. He claims to have had a...one night stand with your mother, and that he's your father. It's nonsense of course - that's what's in the letter she gave to you to pass on to Mr Vincent - the results of the DNA test that proves you are my son."
"But....she said not to let you see me give it to him, Dad."
"I know, because she knew that if I did I would want to punch his rotten teeth down his lying throat, and she knows that getting angry is bad for me, what with my IHD and everything. But I knew what the letter said - your mother and I have no secrets: she's a fine woman, your mother. You've got the best mum anyone could wish for and you need to remember that."
"So what was all that about his blog?"
"Some of it was true, but most of it was lies. Mr Vincent stole most of what he put up on the blog, and you could always tell - he's such a bad writer that when you came across something even halfway competent you knew that he'd pinched it."
[to be continued]
GENE’S LITERARY COMEUPPANCE
ReplyDeletePART TWO
The car stopped in a layby. DI Tebbit, in the passenger seat, turned and said
"Is this true, Mr Detterling?"
"Is what true?”
"Well...Mr Vincent's lies, the writing, the envy, inventing the story about your wife - why would he make up stuff like that?"
"He taught you, Tebbit, you know him - why do you think he would?"
"Well, sir, we all knew he was up himself, always banging on about Wittgenstein and Samuel Beckett and James Joyce, but we knew all that was bullshit, so we humoured him - he was going to sign off our reports and we knew which side our bread was buttered. He reckoned to be expert on Joyce and I once copied out the first bit of "The Dead" and submitted to the school magazine and he never realised. He was all wind and piss, but what would have been the point of breaking his heart by telling him we knew he was? I suppose this writing and envy thing is part of all that, is it?"
"You're telling it, Detective Inspector."
"And this plagiarism on his blog - can you prove that?"
Detterling reached into his pocket and took out an envelope, passing the two sheets of paper it contained to DI Tebbit.
Tebbit read the sheets in silence.
The first one read: "Extracted from Gene Vincent: Close up on a phenomenon, April 2013"
" "The expression evokes a riotously anarchic cosmos, in which only the outrageous can happen, and - when it does happen is outrageously diverting; in which people reason and behave with awesome inconsequence and lunatic logic. A primitive ruler, eager to be modern, is induced by a wily contractor to purchase boots for his barefoot army: the savages happily heat up their cookpots and devour the boots. An Oxford porter says to an undergraduate who has just been expelled: "I expect you'll be becoming a school master, sir. That's what most of the gentlemen does, sir, that gets sent down for indecent behaviour." On the planet where Waugh's comic novels have their being, Oxford and Mayfair are as barbarous in their way as darkest Azania.
There are few contemporary writers of the first rank, apart from Gene, whose imagination runs to such appalling and macabre inventions as Waugh's does; and there is none other, than Gene, who carries audacity to such lengths in using the atrocious as the material of farce."
[to be continued]
GENE’S LITERARY COMEUPPANCE
ReplyDeletePART THREE
The second sheet read "Extracted from An article "Evelyn Waugh - the best and the worst" by Charles J Rolo, The Atlantic Monthly, October 1954"
" The expression evokes a riotously anarchic cosmos, in which only the outrageous can happen, and - when it does happen is outrageously diverting; in which people reason and behave with awesome inconsequence and lunatic logic. A primitive ruler, eager to be modern, is induced by a wily contractor to purchase boots for his barefoot army: the savages happily heat up their cookpots and devour the boots. An Oxford porter says to an undergraduate who has just been expelled: "I expect you'll be becoming a school master, sir. That's what most of the gentlemen does, sir, that gets sent down for indecent behaviour." On the planet where Waugh's comic novels have their being, Oxford and Mayfair are as barbarous in their way as darkest Azania.
There are few contemporary writers of the first rank whose imagination runs to such appalling and macabre inventions as Waugh's does; and there is none other who carries audacity to such lengths in using the atrocious as the material of farce."
Even in the dim light of the car Detterling could see the deep flush of anger on Tebbit's face.
"Can I keep these, Mr Detterling?"
"Of course. And what happens now?"
"What happens now, Mr Detterling, is that I take you to Uxbridge Police Station and get you to sign a release for my false arrest of you, and then take you and young Sebastian home. And then I go back to Cardinal Wiseman and arrest Mr Vincent - laying false information and wasting police time will do for a start. And I've got something for him anyway - an invitation to my wedding next month provided he's out on bail."
"Ah, congratulations, Clint - is WPC O Mara the lucky lady?"
"Oh, come off it, heartface, a bloke your age, you must realise I'm on the other bus, surely."
"Well, Vincent will get a surprise - he has you down as being as butch as a fitter's dog, Clint."
"He would - he's so up himself he takes no notice of anyone - probably doesn't even realise that he's gay himself. But surprise is right, Mr D: it's his son Paul I'm getting married to. And Mr V has promised, on the TES Opinion Website no less, to sing 'Here comes the bride' when Paul comes in."
Sebastian had never seen anyone cry with laughter before, but his Dad, for the next three days, kept on laughing until he cried.
As for Mr Vincent, once the Governors read his blog in its entirety, they threatened to sack him. But, following the intervention of Detterling and son, they tempered justice with mercy, and appointed Gene as Assistant Caretaker with special responsibility for the school toilets and drains.
As Detterling said to his son, revenge is a dish that people of taste prefer to eat cold. Seeing Vincent scraping shit off toilet seats for a living would also being a daily reminder to Sebastian of the inexorability with which nemesis follows hubris.
As for WPC O Mara, she was last heard of living with Marianne in perfect marital bliss.
Gene's Raymond Chandler mac and trilby are battered and stained now, but they suit his latest hobby: gazing longingly at the school netball courts whereon cavort the year 8 girls in their navy-blue gym knickers......
[to be continued]
GENE’S LITERARY COMEUPPANCE
ReplyDeletePART FOUR
So what was in that letter from Delia Detterling, the letter than Gene fondly thought would finally knock Detterling for six? Well, unlike some marriages where partners keep things from one another, the Detterlings share everything, and Delia’s instruction to Sebastian to slip the letter to Gene Vincent on the quiet was to prevent Detterling’s getting angry and belting the living shit out of Vincent for his malice and nastiness. For him to do that would, of course, have been to risk a further heart attack and possible death: but so passionate is his hatred of Vincent that Detterling would have counted his life well lost if it meant that Vincent had had inflicted on him the pain and humiliation he deserved.
Gene Vincent:
As you will see from the enclosed DNA report, your malicious allegation that you are Sebastian’s father is not true. If you repeat it once more you will be reading about yourself in the Daily Mail.
I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I regret, but the one I regret the most is our one-night stand at the Hilton Metropole all those years ago. It’s no excuse that Detterling and I were going through a bad patch trying to start a family and getting nowhere, or that surrogacy, even with a nasty piece of work like you, is something I approve of. I regret my momentary loss of judgement, and I wince now to think of it.
Oddly, it wasn’t just your physical repulsiveness: the beer belly, the BO, the flatulence, your lack of sexual hygiene, the halitosis that suggested you had just eaten a dogshit sandwich. Nor was it your sexual inadequacy – the eight and a half that turned out to be centimetres and not inches, the premature ejaculation that was not so much a miscue on the doorstep as a wet daydream, the selfishness and the snoring – women get used to bad sex, ask Marianne if you don’t believe me.
No, it was the mean-ness – the 11.95 two course Italian, the bottle of sweet cider and two glasses, your trying to pay with luncheon vouchers, the three stops on the rammed Tube instead of a £10 taxi ride. A man who is mean in a restaurant is mean everywhere else, and that was a warning sign I failed to read.
For all these reasons I rejoice that Sebastian is all mine and all Detterling’s – he has his faults, but he is a decent, kind and above all generous man. He forgave my infidelity: and I know that if it had turned out that you were Sebastian’s father, it would have made no difference to his love for Sebastian, and that he would have spent his last penny to keep you from having any part in his upbringing.
For myself I am glad that you have no part of my beloved son, and that he will not stand a chance of inheriting your malice, nastiness, bigotry, stupidity, cant and viciousness.
As for your influence on him at school, well, by the time Detterling has finished with you you’ll be lucky to still have a job, let alone one as a teacher.
This is a single and final communication. Get out of our lives and stay out.
Yours etc., Mrs D Detterling.
So now we see the full duplicity, hypocrisy and cowardice of Gene Vincent in full daylight. He bleats about free speech - that is, his freedom to write filth, lies and scurrilous libels about people he envies - and boasts bombastically about his "searing honesty".
ReplyDeleteAnd yet he has removed the following post TWICE now - evidently he doesn't like his free speech being extended to him when it exposes him for the irredeemably nasty piece of work - and thorough disgrace to a noble and ancient church - that he truly is.
Savour this product of a diseased and disgusting mind, posted in 2016.
"Кеше түнде мен Делия туралы өте күшті түс көрдім. Бұл өте эротикалық болды. Түсімде оқиғалардың қалай басталғаны туралы біраз түсініксіз болды, бірақ мен оны жаңа ғана ұрып-соққанымнан анық есімде. Ешқандай ренжітпейтін ештеңе жоқ ... жай ғана қатты соққы. Сосын Делия шалқасынан жатып: «Бұл керемет Джин болды... бірақ қазір маған өте қажет. Маған Феллини әрекет етуде.
«Жарайды Делия, қолыңды тізе бер» деп бұйырдым.
Ол солай істеді, мен оны артқы стилінен отырғыздым. Біз білетіндей, Догги позициясы Делианың сүйікті орны. Ой! Кешіріңіз, мен ұмытып қалдым. Делияның сізге «қызмет көрсетпейтінін» білмейсіз. Ти! Хе! Хе! Хе! Чортл! Чортл! ГЕН»”
Savour the sheer nastiness of that, aimed at libelling a wonderful woman who is worth a hundred Gene Vincents, and hurting the feelings of her husband by degrading her in this leering, sneering filth.
And make no mistake, Gene: now that I have found that this post gets under your skin and shows you for the disgusting person you are, it will keep re-appearing, morning, noon and night, under every new post you write, until you see sense.
What a dimwitted mug you are, Gene: NEVER show your weak spot to someone prepared ruthlessly to exploit it. You never disappoint!
And just in case we needed the point emphasising, I have chosen at random a paragraph from the dreadful "Gene Vincent - close-up on a phenomenon" and taken a look at it with my copy editor's hat on.
ReplyDeleteRead and learn.
Original
"We finish our coffee and I take the initiative and [1] ask if I can view [2] Gene's study. I am keen to see the actual [3] location [4] from whence [5] emanates [6] such a torrent [7] of creativity. Gene takes me [8] upstairs and leads me [9] into a smallish [10] and somewhat unprepossessing [11] room overlooking the front garden [12]. "Libby, I shall [13] leave you here. Feel free to browse [14]. I shall be downstairs [15] when you wish to talk [16]." With that Gene was [17]gone and I was [18] alone in a hallowed space [20].
[83 words]
Professional Edit
We finish our coffee and, taking the initiative, I ask to see Gene's study: I’m keen to see where he creates. It’s a nondescript room upstairs. "I’ll leave you to browse: I’ll be downstairs." – with which Gene leaves me.
[39 words]
Notes:
[1] The two “ands” are clumsy.
[2] Why view? “see” is simpler: and of course you “can” see Gene’s study – what you are asking is if you “may”. And this sentence is clumsy as it stands: using a parenthesis loses four words and sharpens its focus.
[3] Why “actual”? is there an hypothetical or putative location?
[4] “location” is pretentious – what is wrong with “place”? – if anything the mundanity of the word place would emphasise the room’s status as the source of a “creative torrent”.
[5] “whence” means “from where” – “from whence” therefore means “from from where” which is ridiculous. Equally “whence emanates” is pompous – this phrase doesn’t fit.
[6] “emanate” means spread out as from a source, like warmth or light, in a radiant cloud. The smell of a fart emanates, for example. As well as being pretentious “emanate” doesn’t fit with a torrent, which flows fast and vigorously.
[7] “torrent” – see “emanate” above.
[8] That there are only two of you has been established: therefore “Gene takes me” is a redundancy.
[9] “Gene….leads me” is also a redundancy – who else would lead you? Who else would he lead?
[10] “Smallish” means nothing – smallish as opposed to what?
[11] How does a “somewhat” unprepossessing room differ from a very, quite or slightly unprepossessing room? Come to that what does a prepossessing – whether somewhat, very, quite or slightly –room look like? “Smallish and unprepossessing” is redundant bordering on meaningless.
[12] This detail – “overlooking the front garden” adds nothing to the description: if you don’t believe me substitute anything similar – “overlooking the septic tank”, “overlooking the compost heap” – and see if it changes the flavour or impact of the sentence. It doesn’t, and thus it is a pointless detail, added for effect but actually conferring none.
[13]"shall” is intention: futurity is needed here – “ I will”
[14] The only essential part of this speech is “feel free to browse” – something Libby would feel free to do only if Gene left her alone. The direct address “Libby” is redundant. It has been established that only two people are involved.
[15] See [14] above
[16] This conditional futurity is again redundant. Gene will be downstairs whatever Libby wants – to vomit on him, kick him in the knackers, blow in his ear.
[17] Assuming that the change from historic present to past imperfect wasn’t sheer incompetence – a strong possibility given the dismal level of the prose so far – then the change to past imperfect should have been paragraphed
[18] See 17 above
[19] “hallowed” means holy or consecrated: exaggeration for effect but achieving none
[20] Why “space”? This word suggests emptiness – another mistake.
So: 83 words, 20 mistakes/errors of judgement/style, reduced on edit to 39 words, not one of which is wasted.
Is Gene a terrible writer, or is he a terrible writer?
A relevant quotation from “Recessive” Gene Vincent:
ReplyDelete“Londoners call a man (sic) like Detterling a 'bottle job' meaning that such a person has not an ounce of courage.”
This from the same vicious little creep [sick, sick, sick] who faked two posts from Mr Robert Steadman, musician and composer, in order to attack Detterling, thus:
“"From: Rob Steadman, 27 February 2013 13:12: Selwyn you are and always will be a git.”
Gene did this in such a way as to link these posts, which Mr Steadman, in an email to Detterling, said he knew nothing about, to Mr Steadman’s website. We have grown used to Gene plagiarizing 90% of this blog from other writers: on this occasion he impersonated Mr Steadman, in effect plagiarizing a whole personality.
This also from the same mincing crybaby who then lied blatantly by saying that
“In desperation Detterling has started posting pretending he is a well-known musician and composer ... the very same who gave him a sound thrashing on the TES Opinion Forum back in the day.”
This also from the same malicious sod who, panic-stricken and with the piss trickling down his legs, hurriedly had to delete all the posts Detterling had put up proving Gene’s lies about him as well as proving Gene’s personation of Mr Steadman.
This also from the same hypocritical coward who had his blog closed to all but members of his blog three times in two days, leaving only Gene and the appalling Rawlinson to indulge in mutual circle-wanking sessions.
And now that this blog is re-opened to general comment, I will print the email I sent to Mr Steadman and his reply, which will I am sure be of great interest.
In the meantime, if you want to envisage the meaning of spineless, lily-livered, gutless and yellow-bellied, then think of that flatulent pile of smoking turds that is “Recessive” Gene Vincent.
Bottle job? “Recessive” Gene Vincent wrote the manual.
Where I come from we call people like Gene Vincent “gobshites” – people who are all talk and no balls.
And Gene/Smarmy sent me these three charming messages last night via TES messaging.
ReplyDelete[1] "So Detters you are now hurling out homophobic abuse. Shirtlifter indeed? How ironic coming from a man who has a Nancyboy nephew." [Sent 19.45 on Saturday 22nd February 2014
Nonsense, of course - he's either lying or has twisted something I posted.]
[2] "Detters just to let you know in advance that I shall be returning to posting on this forum during the Easter school holiday. And will I be going for the jugular? Is the Pope a Catholic?
Regards to Delia. Please let her know that Gene and 'Fellini' say: "What larks Delia! What larks!"
Yours as ever,
Gene" [Sent 19.48 on Saturday 22nd February 2014. The Delia reference is to a nasty little fable he concocted on his ludicrous blog to the effect that he had a one night stand with my wife ["Delia"] as a result of which he fathered my five year old son. The Fellini reference is to the supposed length of his penis - eight and half inches - centimetres I could believe.]
[3] "And Detters a salutary lesson. Cast you mind back to that glorious day when the C of E proposal to have women bishops was torpedoed. Remember the next morning how in the staffroom I approached and grinned broadly at a C of E busybody who had been very involved in this issue. She went into hysterics and accused me of being about the most evil man who ever walked the planet. Yet all I had done was smirk at her. Anyhow she has recently tried to have my blog closed down on account of alleged plagiarism. NO DICE!
See how she bit the dust! See how I have taunted her on 'GENE ... a voice in the wilderness'!
Same fate awaits you Detters if you get out of line." [Sent 19.55 on Saturday 22nd February 2014]. I am, I imagine, supposed to be worried by these pathetic threats - that he boasts about scoffing and sneering at a female work colleague rules him out as someone to be taken seriously. What a disgusting human being Gene is.
Still, I now have the ammunition I need - this post will appear as the first reply on any thread he starts in future, whether as Smarmy Barmy or Soren Kierkegaard.
AND FINALLY...
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt whatsoever that the preceding thirty-two comments [and of course this one] will not survive Gene's return from Iona and Lindisfarne.
Gene prides himself on his "searing honesty" - which is what, he claims, motivates the lies, libel, bigotry and bullshit he spouts daily on this blog.
This "searing honesty", however, is a privilege he reserves purely for himself. Anyone telling the truth about Gene - that he is a serial liar, groper, plagiarist and bastard, a by-word for nastiness and grubby dirty mindedness, as well as a monumentally terrible writer with delusions of adequacy - finds himself censored in short order.
The same applies to Gene's bombastically proclaimed commitment to free speech. By free speech Gene means his freedom to write lies, libel, personal abuse, pornographic slurs, accusations of paedophilia, support for Nazi Germany, about anyone who has the bad manners to show him up as the shallow, intellectually dishonest casuist that he really is. That principle, however, does not extend to allowing that freedom to others to tell the truth about him. His hypocrisy, like his narcissistic self-regard and ironclad self-esteem, dazzles.
Which is why, as I said a few weeks ago, I have done with you, Gene. You are a shit who has made dishonesty and hypocrisy a way of life, and you are never going to learn, largely because you think you know it all already.
In this part of the world we say that there are those who know, those who don't know, and those who don't know but think that they do. You, Gene, are not only in the latter category, but actually rejoice in the fact that you have no capacity for introspection.
But quite the saddest thing is the way in which you abuse your not inconsiderable intelligence. You are the most tragic of all tragic figures, and your curse, your hamartia, is that you are an intelligent man who has decided to behave stupidly, to talk, and write piss.
At the age of 82 and 6 months, it is likely I will not live for very much longer; but however much time I have remaining, I intend to waste no more of it on a shit like you. It is well said that you cannot polish a turd, and I regret every moment I have wasted in endeavouring to point out to you that the mercy of God extends to everyone, not just those who believe what you believe, and practice that belief in the way that you do.
My father was the best Christian I ever met: he died forty six years ago come next Advent Sunday, and I think about him every day, and always with love. He lived out his faith according to the principle attributed to St Francis - "preach the gospel always, but use words only when you have to".
My prayer for you, such as it is, is that you will never realise and have to confess, be shriven, mitigate and live down the hateful gospel, a perversion of the mercy of God which we all need, your every word on this blog, and your every action in daily life, preaches.
Heinrich Heine is reputed to have said on his deathbed: God will forgive me; that is his job". So God will forgive you, as he will forgive me.
But I will never forgive you for the filth you wrote about my beloved wife and beautiful son. They will be now the centre of my life and my reason to live as long as I can.
There is no more room in my life for a bastard like you, and I regret now that I ever made any room for you. The late Tony Benn once said "never wrestle with a chimney sweep - all you will achieve is to cover yourself in soot." Time enough left, I hope, to cleanse my life of the soot with which you have defiled it.
Enough said.