WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT SEBASTIAN...
Detters we have to talk about Sebastian. He's now fifteen? And like all teenagers of that age very impressionable.
First of all Detters let me congratulate you and Delia on your parenting. You have my unbounded admiration. From everything I gather Sebastian has had a wonderful upbringing and is fortunate in this day and age to grow up with such solicitous care for his moral and spiritual welfare. Recently Detters you wrote that when you and Delia visit The Bay Food Bank with donations you take Sebastian along with you. Such good example. Well done!
However, it's not all plain sailing. Sebastian must encounter some difficulty in you being eighty or thereabouts. No doubt many of his friends mistake you for his grandfather.
Also there is the issue of you being Protestant* and your wife being Catholic.
I don't mind if you attend Catholic Mass with Sebastian and Delia but there are problems if they attend C of E Eucharist with you. Firstly you of course cannot receive Holy Communion at the Catholic Mass. Under no circumstances at the C of E Eucharist must Sebastian and Delia receive communion - it is of course not communion but an unconsecrated wafer. Henry VIII and the break in Apostolic succession has seen to that. C of E bishops and priests are not validly ordained. How correct was Pope Benedict XVI when he declared that the Anglican Church had no legitimacy.
Finally, please do not allow Sebastian to come under any Gay Lobby influences or ideas. I do not have to elaborate. Likewise please direct him away from any acceptance of abortion or assisted dying.
Please Detters and Delia keep up the good work.
GENE
* I used to have arguments with the Church of England Busybody R.I.P. about this. She maintained that she was not Protestant. I countered with that because the C of E accepted the 39 Articles she was ergo Protestant.
YOU FUCKING DARE AND YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE REGRETTING IT.
ReplyDeleteI WILL NOT HAVE YOU defile my family with your twisted, grubby bigotry.
ONE WORD about my son or my wife and you will wish you had never been born. Keep your nasty, defiling sham piety to yourself. Or else.
GOT THAT, BASTARD?
"I WILL NOT HAVE YOU defile my family..."
ReplyDeleteWho is talking about defiling your family? My intentions are exactly the opposite.
GENE
Your views, your bogus piety, your filthy mind and nasty obsessions are a contamination Gene, and I WILL NOT HAVE your crude and grubby opinions anywhere near my beautiful son and beloved wife. You pretend concern but it is really prurient dirty mindedness, and your sole interest is in hurting my feelings. That’s the action of a calculating, loathsome bastard and I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. ONE WORD about my family from you and your name will stink the length and breadth of Uxbridge.
ReplyDeleteGOT THAT, BASTARD?
You bombastic, condescending, patronising, interfering, bigoted nasty little ponce. Just who do you think you are to tell me how to bring up my son?
ReplyDeleteFuck off, stuff your shitty pifflings up your arse and mind your own business.
Now Detters I just know that you don't mean a word of this.
DeleteBest wishes,
GENE
PS
I reiterate that under no circumstances can Sebastian and Delia receive Holy Communion in the C of E.
Also Sebastian must be made understand that assisted dying is never to be accepted.
I mean every word if it, you loathsome little rat. You have fucked up your own family with your pompous moralising and interfering bigotry but you will leave mine alone.
DeleteThis is you at your worst - probing and needling until you find a way of causing me pain, and then enjoying the repeated infliction of it. You have been doing it for years, because you are such a paltry human being that the only way you can feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel bad. That is what makes your canting piety so sickening - it is a paradigm of hypocrisy and dishonesty. You are the worst advertisement for Christianity that I have ever met, and I would sooner let my son go to tea with Gary Glitter than let him anywhere near you.
Stuff your canting bigotry up your arse.
Detters that is what the Church of England Busybody used allege: that I cruelly enjoyed inflicting pain. Well, in the words of Saint Paul: "I am that I am." I still believe I am a good person. I believe I am misunderstood.
DeleteGENE
Anybody who hurts someone’s feelings, is told very clearly that he has done so, and repeats the behaviour that caused the pain in the first place is someone who enjoys inflicting pain, someone who can only feel good about himself by making others feel bad about themselves.
ReplyDeleteThat is my experience of you, Gene, over twenty years - dirty minded, malicious, vindictive, dishonest, two-faced and shallow. But what turns your jeering, taunting and scoffing from being merely nasty into being queasily despicable is the bogus piety, fake religiosity and bombastic dogmatism that turns you into the worst advertisement for Roman Catholicism I have ever encountered.
You are only too well understood, Gene, and your inability to face the truth about yourself is perhaps the saddest aspect of your pitiable condition.
Now FUCK OFF and leave me and mine alone.
Ooh! Matron!
ReplyDeleteFor fuck's sake, grow up.
ReplyDeleteBy the way Detters, Sebastian would be safe with either Gary Glitter or myself. Gary's problem has been little girls. My problem has been larger girls!
ReplyDeleteGENE
I wouldn’t let my son within fifty miles of your emotional paedophilia for fear you would corrupt a beautiful soul, in the same way that you once tried to smear his beautiful mother, you dirty, nasty bastard. As for larger girls you had to resort to groping young teachers to satisfy your grubby lusts.
ReplyDeleteNow let's stick to the truth. There was never any groping; just an avuncular pat on the backside.
DeleteThese days I would not even be allowed to do that, thanks to the #Metoo killjoys.
GENE
No it wasn't, Gene: it was dirty old man groping disguised as avuncular kindness - typical of you that you can't even be honest about your furtive and grubby frottage. That's why I wouldn't allow your paedophilic bigotry anywhere near my son. You are poisonously nasty.
DeleteAs well as a complete and utter failure as a writer. I have just checked on the sales progress of "Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths."
DeleteIn the Amazon Best Sellers List it is now being outsold by two million, nine hundred and sixty-one thousand, nine hundred and sixty-nine other books at position number 2,961,970.
What splendid news - I laughed until the tears ran down my face. What a complete bust, fiasco, loser, washout, dud and flop.
What are you going to do with the 20,000 copies shipped to you by the Rattlesnake Press, Gene - build a garden shed with them? sell them to people with a table with one short leg? shred them and sell them as confetti? or donate them as kindling for the next Uxbridge Catenians November 5th bonfire party? They are good for fuck all else after all.
Number 2,961,970!!! Tee! hee! hee! chortle chortle.