Lambeth Palace has spoken   ... Detterling has been excommunicated

Last Sunday in Detterling's home parish, St Cuthbert's by the Tyne, the following announcement was made by the Rector.

Dearly Beloved, it is my duty to announce to you the following:

Lambeth Palace has spoken. Our erstwhile parishioner 'Lardass' Detterling has been excommunicated from the Church of England.

Detterling's faking of his own death was in the view of the Church 'sinful, vile and cruel'. Excommunication was axiomatic.

Detterling's nefarious deception was discovered and uncovered by the saintly Gene Vincent.

So Dearly Beloved how to respond if we encounter this wretched soul Detterling meandering around the streets of Tyneside? We cross the road and pass by on the other side. Remember the very name Detterling is anathema.

Here endeth the announcement.

The Worshipful Reverend E.I. Addio

Rector

St Cuthbert's by the Tyne

Diocese of Hexham & Newcastle