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| Munch's THE SCREAM ... just sums up my despair |
Okay, I'm a proud guy. But sometimes the macho image must be put aside. I know I have a big problem and I must deal with it before it ruins me.
Readers of this blog will know that I have often referred to my first marriage and how I just can't forget and move on. My 'marriage' lasted a brief six months and I went through hell almost every day. But that is so long in the past ... the early Eighties. My marriage was annulled and I have remarried - to the most wonderful woman in the world and I have three wonderful children whom I adore.
I've had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy about fifteen years ago and it did help but it didn't mean I was free of all the baggage.
Why can't I forget the evil bitch and all the hurt she inflicted on me? Things resurface with an intensity now and again and right now is a bad period. One day last week I locked myself in the Sixth Form office and ended up punching a cushion around the room.
If anyone can point me in the right direction I will be eternally grateful. Detters in the past you did proffer some advice - not that you were sympathetic to me - and your advice was along the lines that if I did not free myself from this it would destroy me. You have a background in counselling Detters and if you can offer anything further I would be appreciative - although we are not exactly buddies at the moment. Truth is I would appreciate anything from anyone.
Things are so bad at the moment I don't think I can face the Good Yarn tomorrow night. And for me that's a measure of how serious things are.
Marianne has been a rock but even she can do no more.
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