GRANNY BARKES FELL IN WOOLWORTHS
Granny Barkes fell in Woolworths ... she'll get a free ride in
the ambulance. Ha! Ha! Ha! The just man falls seven times. Look!
See the tracks of Santa's feet on the hearth. I'll break your ould
desk. Say what may the tidings be, on this glorious Christmas morn? He's
lost his apple cake. Look! Look what Mairead has made! That would bury Dick and
Diamond. Indeed he went all the way to the whiney nough. I'm getting a
wheelbarrow tomorrow: it's brand new ... I can't sleep with excitement. This is
a day above all days. No.... we are off to school, c'mon Eddie. I heard a roar
between two hills. L to the water Jimmy Harte. I wish that day would come
back again. And flying my kite. What happened to your lorry Jim? Lay on
MacDuff. Edward's day out. He cut down a tree from the hedge of the car road
with a hatchet - yes, but it's his birthday. I don't know ... maybe so. I think
they did. Look at the size of the flakes! Look at the size of the flakes!
There's a stepmother's breath in the air. He stole matches. Oh! I love to play
when the decorations are up. The Irvines of the wheel ... the wild men from
Borneo. Time waits for no man ... not even John Roy. Jeremiah, blow the fire;
puff, puff, puff. Blue ink, black ink, and good red ink. See that sycamore
tree? By the end of November there won't be a single leaf left on it. Secundam
scripturas. Has he no ears? Hey! Don't touch that coal scuttle ... that belongs
to Stanton Bailey. That's the biggest laugh I've had since I put salt in the
sugar bowl last week. I'll get ye Tony. James Hugh Monaghan from Dernee
... a warrior I do beliee. Hurling by bum, hurling by bum. You are very
unsatisfactory. I was reading The Messenger. Drinking buttermilk all
the week ... whiskey on a Sunday. Back to back, belly to belly...
don't give a damn about Yarnarelli. Come day, go day ... God send Sunday.
The chocolate tree, the sweet tree. The waters wild went o'er his child
and he was left lamenting. 'Ma mither is a queen', said he. This new wheel of
fortune has just come from France. John Johnston's horses are in your corn.
Night's for rest ... night's for rest. There's a yellow rose in Texas.
"Hot diggity, dog ziggity, boom...What you do to me, When you're holding
me tight." A field in Larne. Would it be physical? A stew boiled is a
stew spoiled. The Minster-clock has just struck two, and yonder is the
Moon. Boys obtuse. And the hunter home from the hills. Wait 'til I get
another stone for you Cyril. McAree, McAra, Mc Avarn K-Kunny, put in your white
foot 'til I see if you're my mummy. Bara lynsey, bara lynsey. Patch upon patch
sown without stitches; come riddle me this and I'll give you my britches.
"Hold on ... my door was hit too." Joe Worthington, Joe Worthington
you'd sit till you'd rot. Come to the water fit a thank ye, fit a thank ye, fit
a thank ye. I washed my hands in water; water never run ... and I dried them in
a towel that was neither wove nor spun. Here comes I Wee Devil Doubt... the
pain within, the pain without. Peeping round the door in the khaki there
to see the old pair once again. When I was a lad so was me Dad. Ta Ra
Ra Bam... Ta Ra Ra Ching ... Ta Ra Ra Bam ... Ta Ra Ra. 'Twas on a
Sunday evening that Barlow's it was robbed: Mrs Barlow went down to the room to
get a treacle scone, but when she saw the moneybox, the money it was gone. Genitori,
Genitoque Laus et jubilatio, He relies too much on his effing
muscles. The Protestant boys are loyal and true: they are in me eye says
Donal Abu. What's the 'with thee' for? What's the 'with thee'
for? On a brick-coloured ticket ... that's brick Pat ... all
in! Water! Water! ... er ... Tea! Tea!... with two lumps of sugar
and a spot of milk. I wonder, yes I wonder, will the angels way up yonder, will
the angels play their harps for me? Whistle and I will come to you me lad. Get
that Teddy Boy haircut out of my sight! The one with the black bucket is the
best. The shadow of the Valois is yawning at the Mass. Sandy Row on an
Easter Monday ... every day's like an Easter Sunday. Willie Ruckie.
Milled today, fed tomorrow. It's long and it's narrow, it's not very wide,
it wears a green selvage on every side. Tilly Versailles. Yes and truly you are
best. No more tomorrows in your career. Dr Whitehead. Piss, Piss
Iceland dog! Tickets are sixpence each and I hope you all win. Andera Keck
K-Keck K-Keck K-Keck. We sell only the best E..E..English C..C..Coca Cola. Aye
but, naw but, could you cut turf? Hollyhocks! Hollyhocks! over Bobby Lyttle's
garden wall. "You took the coat hanger to it." The seas obey,
the fetters break and lifeless limbs thou dost restore. You could easily stand
on Kelly's hills and count his skinny ribs. Barefooted thatcher ... Pa
Bunty. Have you got a wagon to put these wheels on? Lauda Jerusalem
Dominum, Lauda Deum tuum Sion. Man attacked and thoroughly beaten ... attackers
make off in a posh car. Swiftly, silently and unseen. You see Missus D; there's
the cow and there's the gate. C'mon... let's get home for the beef and spuds.
Ecce Panis Angelorum. Dee daw Marjorie Raw. You're idle for stelk. Saucepan
gossiper. Corduroy for every boy, cordurat for every cat. We're the boys that
fears no noise, we are the bold Drumarda boys. On Saturday night we all got
tight and Cassidy brought us over. Silver Saturday, jink night. Listening
to the footsteps of the boys from Tedd. Dick Nan's: just the spot for a picnic.
Listen to me George: "Would you like white stones on your grave?" The
bespectacled roadman. Chick a boom ... chick a rack
... chick a boom ... chick a rack ... and the yellow skirt goes swinging.
Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years, Scrooge replied. He died seven years
ago, this very night. Too strong Grandad, too strong. Go on Balfour! Santa
Agatha, ora pro nobis. "Pope Pius XII died during the night."
The Ypres Salient at Night. Histracy. Wherefore have you left your sheep on
that stony mountain steep? Hi for a toffer and hi for it still; and hi
for the wee lad lies over the hill. The river eddy whirls. Beati Michaeli archangelo. Put a
table in the hall and it will do fine. And he fully did. Jimmy Hicks is
not in hell. Rushe came down last night. I know my nick name. Uncle Merry. For
aye for guide: very good neighbours, but keep your back to us. Apostrophe at
the Post Office today. Let the reindeers go. Let them go! Good morrow
Mick. No-one will read your papers. Oh! Hugh is
staunch. Jack's in Diviney. Smithers. You're only making a faddle (fardel)
of yourself. The image of a girl. Deeper than the wishing well. Ballina,
Balnabroka, Anahinahola, don't show the white feather wherever you go.
Carolina moon. What a beautiful day! What must heaven be like? Do you
know our d'Brian? You're nice Miss Rice. I see said the blind man. The
fish in the pond are seeing red as Bobby is fishing with Coates strong
thread. And those who come from distance far are always late for tea. Oh!
to be in Doonaree. All day all night Marianne; down by the seaside
sifting sand. Look at the way he's twisting that stick. He won't know
himself in this lovely place. You've given me a taste of fame. There was a wild
colonial boy Jack Saltey was his name. Geoff Duke. The people they call
me Calypso Joe. Oh! my diploma. I win a pound. The ancient ring post
snapped like a matchstick. I think, I think, that she's the mostest of the lot,
and furthermore she is the only chick I got. Nicolette ... I can pick 'em!
Raddle diddle da ha ha. They all wore black coats and black top hats and they
turned and went up to your room. Deep, deep river... away, away. Early morning
light ... Rat ta-tat ta-tat ta-tat. Rat ta-tat ta-tat ta-tat.
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